Replies to post #88294 on Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You can do anything. Your determination to succeed with business or career may reach new heights. Put the finishing touches on major undertakings and do painstaking tweaking.

-- July 18, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Pour the good over the bad. Visualize a good feeling and amplify it, then use it to smother any bad feeling that keeps nudging at your consciousness. Avoid initiating new business projects.

-- July 19, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

Texas State Troopers

In Richardson , a Texas State Trooper was running radar.
He had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting any.
Then he discovered the problem. A 12 year old boy was standing up the
Road with a hand painted sign which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD!"


The officer later found a young accomplice down the road with a sign
Reading , "TIPS" and a bucket full of money.
(And we used to just sell lemonade!)


A young woman was pulled over in Austin , Texas for speeding.
As the TX State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his
Ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the
Texas State Police Ball." He replied, "Texas State Troopers don't have
Balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized
What he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol
Car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car

[teapeebubbles]

On a famous TV game show A BLONDE contestant needed
only to answer one more question. One simple question
stood between her and ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

"To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned,
"name two of Santa's reindeer."

The contestant, gave a sigh of relief, gratified that she had
drawn such an easy question.

"Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and, ...Olive!"

The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign
above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly
faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied,

"Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain...
'Olive?!?'"

"You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently
and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer had a
very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say
it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Why do blondes always drink with straws?
A: Practice.

[teapeebubbles]

Bridget Moynahan: Still Pregnant With Her Ex Tom Brady's Kid

[teapeebubbles]

Big Dog is showing Little Dog around the block.
"Sniff, sniff.

Smell that?" asks Big Dog.

"Sniff, sniff. Sure do," says Little Dog, "what
is it?"

"Fifi's in heat, come on, I'll show you what to
do."

So Big Dog shows Little Dog how to hump Fifi.

"Sniff, sniff. Smell that?" asks Big Dog.

"Sniff, sniff. Sure do, what's that?" asks Little
Dog.

"Garbage. Come on, I'll show you what to do."

So Big Dog shows Little Dog how to raid the garbage
can. Pretty soon, Big Dog goes over to the fire
hydrant and takes a leak on it.

"Wait a minute," says Little Dog, "I understand
about Fifi and I understand about the garbage,
but what is this hiking on the hydrant thing?"

"Hey," says Big Dog, "if you can't screw it and
you can't eat it, piss on it!"

[teapeebubbles]

"First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you
a few drinks and get you a bit loose."

"Oh no you're not," said the girl.

"Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a
few more drinks."

"Oh no you're not."

"Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving
you drinks."

"Oh no you're not."

"Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love
to you."

"Oh no you're not."

"And I'm not going to wear a condom either!"
said the guy.

"Oh yes you are!" said the girl.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Pay attention to the local pecking order. You may be forced to associate either with certain people who don't appreciate all of your finest traits or those who won't let you spread your wings.

-- July 20, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your competitive nature is in full flower. You can force a foot in the door to make a new friend or an extra dollar. Find things to do to occupy your hands and your very busy mind.

-- July 21, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Hold your horses. The early part of the week is not a good time to start household projects or plans. Buy things that are on sale and put them aside for future use if you find good deals.

-- July 22, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be an eagle instead of a scorpion. Rise above petty spats or the troublemaking efforts of others. Don't be suckered in to time-wasting activities; toe the line and be sure to fulfill responsibilities.

-- July 23, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, and Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

Animals have the darndest thoughts.

Dog: "They keep putting the lid down on the big
water bowl."

Goldfish: "Just because I have a three-second
memory, they don't think I'll mind eating the
same fish flakes ... Oh boy! Fish flakes!"

Dog: "Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose
in it? I already KNOW whose it is!"

Goldfish: "The wimp-ass knight never comes out
of the castle to fight me for dominion over the
fish tank. So I must continue patrolling, for I
am lord and master!"

Parrot: "Tease, tease, tease! But do those greedy
clowns ever really give me a cracker? HECK, no!"

Dog: "Human legs that just tease."

Cat: "Why are these people in my house?"

Dog: "What the... HEY!!! Where are my balls?!?"

Goldfish: "Oh, tap-tap-tap! There's a new one!"

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You've got what it takes. It is almost time to reap the rewards you so richly deserve. You have worked hard to reach a pinnacle of success, but some desires could be thwarted today.

-- July 24, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Powerful needs can create potent allure. People may be attracted by your do-or-die attitude. Expect profitable dealings, since you seem to possess the Midas touch for a few hours today.

-- July 25, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, and Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

"People are mad about this Michael Vick thing. Today, Bob Barker called for Vick to be spayed and neutered." -- Jay Leno

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Protecting your privacy could be an issue. Your natural reticence could make friends suspicious or just uncomfortable. Learn to be a bit less rigid and controlled when in social situations.

-- July 26, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, and Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

Michael Vick Pleads Not Guilty To Dogfighting Charges

[teapeebubbles]

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH

1. Guinness

2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives

3. You can get into a fight just by marching down
someone's road

4. Pubs never close

5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in
the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your
girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on

6. No one can ever remember the night before

7. Kill people you don't agree with

8. Stew

9. More Guinness

10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub
at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian
violence.

[teapeebubbles]

A blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first
task was to go out for coffee. Eager to do well her
first day on the job, she grabbed a large thermos and
hurried to a nearby coffee shop.

She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker
quickly came over to take her order. She asked,

"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?"

The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated
a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks
like about six cups to me."

"Oh good!" the blonde sighed in relief. "Then give me
two regular, two black and two decaf."

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Develop a lifelong mental passion. Your phone might be ringing off the hook and ensuing conversations might trigger a new hobby or interest. Take pride in your family connections.

-- July 27, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, and Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and
a lawyer?
A1: I don't know, there are some things even a
blonde won't do.
A2: Something that when it gives you a blow job,
it won't stop until it gets blood.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A chip on someone's shoulder may make an inviting target. Don't be drawn into stressful arguments or tempted to lay down the law. Concentrate on discovering an ingenious solution.

-- July 28, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

Aquafina labels to tell water’s source — the tap

[teapeebubbles]

Dog's Purpose, (from a 6-year-old)

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish
Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa,
and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were
hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we
couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia
procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good
for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt
as though Shane might learn something from the experience

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family
surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time,
that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty
or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering
aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me.
I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life --
like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The six-year-old
continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to
stay as long."

Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience e of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure
ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them
gently.

Be always grateful for each new day.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: It is time to rein in your ambitions or tighten up the belt. Take a hard, close look at financial situations by using a database or a list. Don't invest or spend just to please someone else.

-- July 29, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What is brown and black and looks good on a
lawyer?
A: A Doberman Pinscher.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You may be wiser than usual when dealing with possessions and finances. The problem might be that your partner or cohorts aren't nearly as skilled as you and drag you down.

-- July 30, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be the master of your fate, not the victim of it. The only thing you can control is your own reaction to irritating circumstances. Let decisions gel overnight and tomorrow progress can be made.

-- July 31, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

ABC "Good Morning America" anchor Robin Roberts has been diagnosed with breast cancer and will be undergoing surgery Friday.

Roberts, 46, told viewers about her cancer on Tuesday morning's show.

"I am so blessed that I found this in the early stages and the prognosis is so promising that my doctor expects me to be flying planes and hanging on to submarines in the middle of the Atlantic and scaling the Mayan pyramids in no time," she said.

Roberts, who is co-anchor of "Good Morning America" with Diane Sawyer, said she examined herself and found a lump on her breast the same day she had done a report on former "GMA" movie critic Joel Siegel, who died of colon cancer last month. The network wouldn't say which breast was affected.

Roberts, who is single, said there is no history in her family of breast cancer.

She's been a contributor to ABC's morning program since 1995 and was the newsreader before being named in May 2005 as one of the show's anchors.

Former ABC news anchor Peter Jennings announced on "World News Tonight" in April 2005 that he had lung cancer. He never appeared on the air again and died four months later.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't settle for anything but the best. You may be a bit more idealistic than usual and determined to support the neighborhood store or local businesses. Confidence in others will be well rewarded.

-- August 1, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, and Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be a wise old owl. Give a hoot about your own possessions and financial success and you will find a perch above the crowd. Make amends with a favorite romantic partner, boss or authority figure.

-- August 2, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Business as usual is the theme for the day. Some people, like the boss or the gas company, may seem less forgiving of mistakes. Walk the straight and narrow when dealing with the public.

-- August 3, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, and Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The proof is in the pudding. You may feel unappreciated so remind yourself of all the substantial progress already achieved. Remain flexible if a family member does something unexpected.

-- August 4, 2007
Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Pride yourself on versatility and integrity, but don't take yourself too seriously. Your best work will evolve from being committed and happy. Share a few secrets with someone.

-- August 5, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Dig your teeth into your latest passion. You may feel you aren't getting anywhere, but you are like a miner chipping away at a hard surface. Eventually you will locate a vein of gold.

-- August 6, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

Brooke Shields: Tom Cruise "Apologized To Me. It Was Really Heartfelt"

[teapeebubbles]

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

[teapeebubbles]

I've noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out
in bars a lot.

It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there:

They have no wife to go home to...

...or they do.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Being a perfectionist doesn't mean you're perfect. Be diplomatic if you must double-check details or if someone is a stickler for a faultless performance. A pushy person could annoy you.

-- August 7, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, and Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: People cannot criticize if you follow time-hallowed traditions. Follow the rules and stick to the schedule to guarantee you will have plenty of time for a pleasurable break over the weekend.

-- August 8, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Rely on the faith you have in others. A loved one may demonstrate that trustworthiness and promises made now will be honored. Affectionate exchanges center around the home and family.

-- August 9, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You radiate a sensuality that attracts fascinating new companions. All work and no play is tiresome, so spend break time with a new business acquaintance or plan a night out with friends.

-- August 10, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, and Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

Friends of Eva Longoria and Tony Parker fear that cracks are already appearing in their month-old marriage.

The couple have only just tied the knot in Paris, but pals fear Eva's ambition to turn her and Tony into the next über-celebrity couple like Posh and Becks could drive her shy husband away.

A friend of the pair tells Now: 'Tony despises being in the spotlight, but Eva's the opposite and loves being centre of attention.'

Tony recently confided to friends: 'I just wish we didn't have to live in a fishbowl. I feel like we're on display all the time. Eva eats it up, but really it's difficult to deal with.'

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't box with shadows. Vague fears or worries should be shoved out of sight. If you tweak a business matter, you could cause a certain house of cards to fall.

-- August 11, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, and Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Consider your loyalties. Interest shifts to home, family and toward developing a base of operations that might be spiritual rather than physical. Wait a few days to make a change.

-- August 12, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be proactive rather than reactive. Get out in the fresh air and throw the baseball or swim in the pool. Take advice from a friend with a dose of salt and wait out a brief period of doubt or turmoil.

-- August 13, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Passions play a role. Your sexy smile can win someone's heart and lead to long hours of amorous delight. A good friend might put business matters in proper perspective or provide advice.

-- August 14, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

Why We Love Children



1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.

"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went '

Pssst!' and it didn't move."





2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later...."

Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "

Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."


"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"







3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,

finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said,

"Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door

until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"







4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm

a mother was tucking her son into bed.

She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.

"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room"

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:

"The big sissy"







5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's

sermon. All the children were invited to come forward.

One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and,

as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said,

"That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"

The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,

"Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."







6 When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old

came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into

the sh ower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"

I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."

"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"







7 A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,

"Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.

Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Ye s ," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."







8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little

to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken

Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

The teacher paused then asked the class,

"And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said,

"I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.



9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, &l t; /B>

"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown 's daughter."

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,

"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown 's daughter?"

She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."







10 A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"

Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."

The littl e girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,

"If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"







11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.

She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,

eating a snack cake The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

[teapeebubbles]

Two drunk blondes are stumbling home one night. One of
the girls has to take a walk to the bushes and stumbles
off into a field.

After quite sometime the girl waiting goes looking for
the other girl. She finds her with a horse giving him a
handjob. When she asked her what she was doing, she
replied,

"Hang on I think I might be able to get us a ride home."

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Stripes usually clash with plaids. In much the same way idealism and street smarts don't always make a pleasant combination. Avoid flaunting two contrary attitudes in public.

-- August 15, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, and Pablo Picasso.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Live and learn. A testing process gives you the opportunity to improve. The discipline and organizational skills you develop now will come in handy when your ambitious nature gets into gear.

-- August 16, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You will always be somebody's baby. Keep your desire to be coddled under tight wraps, however, as the outer world sees you as a mature responsible adult. Suck lollipops on your own time.

-- August 17, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, and Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What's the difference between a blond and a mosquito???
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
A: Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby
is the result of standing cock.

[teapeebubbles]

Co-Defendant Claims Vick Helped Hang, Drown Dogs

[teapeebubbles]

It seems that a lawyer had a little bit too much to
drink and on his way home rear-ended the car in front
of him. The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to
the driver of the other car and said, Boy, are you in
trouble? I'm a lawyer!

The driver looked out his window and said, No, you're
in trouble. I'm a judge.

[teapeebubbles]

How do you know when yogurt goes bad?

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Make 'do no harm' your favorite motto. An intense appetite for business or financial success can make you ruthless about how you attain it. Money really and truly isn't everything.

-- August 18, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

Co-Defendant Claims Vick Helped Hang, Drown Dogs

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: It just feels so good to show who you really are; do it with reason, however, as the world is full of bad people and some talk is best left unsaid.

-- August 19, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, and Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You're finishing at long last a very responsible work project and the final touch will be tomorrow. Be as thorough as usual and don't blame others if you're a little late.

-- August 20, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your psychological bent may be toward uncovering all of your friends' secrets. Don't do to others what you don't want done to you, and keep mum about the hidden sexy tales you hear.

-- August 21, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, and Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

LEAST CONVINCING SCREEN PARTNERSHIPS

1 Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen - Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

2 Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez - Gigli

3 Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom - Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy

4 Madonna and Adriano Giannini - Swept Away

5 Catherine Zeta Jones and Sir Sean Connery - Entrapment

Source: Pearl and Dean

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: This could be a night for pleasant romance. But the day could be challenging with money questions. Better not try to fool the tax man. Correct this today before it comes back to haunt you.

-- August 22, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, and Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Smiles today will start new intellectual friendships. If you don't already know how to play chess, learn now. Spending your salary on your home is an idea that will cost you a bomb.

-- August 23, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

Of the 1.4 million dogs euthanized at shelters last year, roughly half were pit bull types, according to the latest data from Merritt Clifton, editor of Animal People. The pit bull is not a breed but a type that includes American Pit Bull Terriers, American Staffordshire Terriers, Staffordshire Bull Terriers, and pit bull mixes, according to the Pit Bull Rescue Central Web site. Clifton and other experts estimate anywhere from 25 to 50 percent of pit bulls euthanized at shelters were fighting dogs.

[teapeebubbles]

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money
was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll
be ruined."

"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.

"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"

"Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A
stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might
even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn't
even smile at the judge."

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision
in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the
courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip
about the cigars. It worked!"

"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."

"But, I did send them."

"What? You did?" said the lawyer, incredulously.

"Yes. That's how we won the case."

"I don't understand," said the lawyer. "It's easy. I
sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's
business card."

[teapeebubbles]

"There is a tri-state area dog food recall. The tainted dog food will be rounded up and fed to Michael Vick." -- David Letterman

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Remember that romance is one step further than sex. It's rarely advisable to conduct affairs at work, so you might want to make it no more than a brief fling, or sidestep the problem entirely.

-- August 24, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Family loyalty may be lacking if you aren't doing your share. Don't get so wrapped up in an intellectual pursuit that you forget to buy the basics for a decent weekend.

-- August 25, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Perfectionism can affect your reputation in a favorable way. Spend extra time with loved ones and family today. During the week ahead be precise and willing to go the extra mile.

-- August 26, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, and Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You are a force to be reckoned with. A solid reputation may become even more concrete as you handle difficult tasks with ease. To achieve big, broad-ranged goals, use dedicated effort.

-- August 27, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

Michael Vick apologized to the NFL and the Atlanta Falcons on Monday for "using bad judgment and making bad decisions" and vowed to redeem himself after pleading guilty to a dogfighting charge.

"First I want to apologize for all the things that I've done and that I have allowed to happen," the star quarterback said at a news conference following his appearance in U.S. District Court to formally enter the plea.

Sentencing was set for Dec. 10 and Vick could be sent to prison for one to five years. Vick was suspended indefinitely by the NFL last week.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Questions get the answers. It is easy to resolve differences when you are aware of the other person's viewpoint. If you make uneducated assumptions you might end up disappointed.

-- August 28, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, and Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You know how the system works. The kindhearted offer from the guy in charge might have a secret string attached. At the same time, the benefits might outweigh the ultimate obligations.

-- August 29, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, and Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a pit
bull?
A: Your last blow job ... Ever!

[teapeebubbles]

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending
divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your
divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home
in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this
case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do
my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have
never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in
your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't
necessarily like the music, but the answer to your
questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up
earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do
you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never
wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't
communicate with me."

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Money doesn't grow on trees. Don't let generous instincts overpower your intelligence. You may make mistakes of judgment or an expensive change based on a false assumption.

-- August 30, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What do you get when you cross a mean dog and a
computer?
A: A mega-bite!

[teapeebubbles]

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.

The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you talk!" exclaims the bartender.

"I see your ears are working," says the duck, "Now can I
have my beer and my sandwich, please?"

"Certainly," says the bartender, "sorry about that, it's
just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you
doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road,"
explains the duck.

So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, pays and
leaves.

This continues for 2 weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the
bartender tells him about the incredible talking duck.

"Marvelous!" says the ringleader, "get him to come see
me."

So the next day, the duck comes into the pub.

The bartender says, "Hey, Mr Duck, I lined you up with
a top job paying really good money!"

"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"

"At the circus" says the bartender.

"The circus?" the duck enquires.

"That's right," replies the bartender.

"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the
animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the
middle?" asks the duck.

"That's right!" says the bartender.

The duck looks confused and asks: "What do they want
with a plasterer?"

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Walk the walk and talk the talk. There could be extra activity centered in the home or with family members, so get in gear to act the part of host or hostess. Expect the unexpected guest.

-- August 31, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, and Katey Sagal.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Easy does it. Your grandiose efforts to impress friends and family might appear like a challenge. You need not outdo anyone or go to extremes in order to be appreciated and loved.

-- September 1, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

"I think Rover is getting a bit old, he seems to be
going deaf."

"Bullshit, watch this...Rover sit! Oh dear, you're
right, I'll get the shovel and clean it up!"

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A creative mind looks for opportunities, not obstacles. The happy-go-lucky theme of the upcoming week may invite you to be extravagant with cash and eager to spread good will.

-- September 2, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, and Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

"A Georgia judge has ordered Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry to pay a lot of child support. He's fathered nine children by nine different women in four different states. And that was just the preseason. The regular season doesn't even start 'til next week." -- Jay Leno

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Putting on the Ritz could be in the stars. You might buy more than you need or stock up the larder with treats just to be on the safe side. Avoid being wasteful with the leftovers.

-- September 3, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, and Jodie Foster.

[teapeebubbles]

If you mated a bulldog and a shitzu would it be called bullshit?

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Sometimes money and possessions seem to answer your needs but emotional trust and concern could be the real issue. Concentrate on deeply valued goals and dependable friendships.

-- September 4, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Birds of a feather flock together. Under these stars it is wise to find common ground with people who have dynamic business sense. You will find support; ingenuity is on your side.

-- September 5, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, and Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Make an unbiased decision. Any financial maneuverings should be good for you, but also beneficial for your friends or favorite charity. Think green and do something to preserve the environment.

-- September 6, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Secrets just beg to be explored. It could be that you are only attracted to something or someone because they exude an aura of mystery. Keep a relationship light; avoid the murky depths.

-- September 7, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, and Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Control circumstances, don't let them control you. Loved ones might not seem as appealing in the harsh light of day, but you have enough imagination and compassion to overlook faults.

-- September 8, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, and Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Unresolved issues can't be resolved in a blink of an eye. Changing someone's mind will take more effort than changing a light bulb. Go with the flow for the next several days.

-- September 9, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, and Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?
A: The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change
shoes.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A flashy new hookup could seem too good to be true. Your expectations might be high but only time will tell if this is the 'real thing.' Enjoy mingling with people from diverse backgrounds.

-- September 10, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be objective about your long-term goals. You may need to abandon one treasured dream to accomplish another. It is most important that you are happy in whatever you do.

-- September 11, 2007
Who else was born under SCORPIO? Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, and Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: This isn't the time to replace a friend or shift allegiances. Although you may dream of having more powerful connections, it is true that the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence.

-- September 12, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, and Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: If you drop a blonde and a brunette from 100 ft,
which hits the ground first?
A: The brunette, because the blonde has to ask directions
on the way down.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third grade.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Being aboveboard is always best. It may seem expedient to bluff your way through, or to muddy the proverbial waters, but in the final analysis you will be accountable for your actions.

-- September 13, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

A blonde's car breaks down on the Interstate one day.
So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She
carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.

Out of the trunk jump two men in trench coats who walk
to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing on-
coming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing
their nude bodies to approaching drivers.

Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in history of
this highway occurs.

It's not very long before a police car shows up. The
cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the blonde of the
disabled vehicle yelling, "What the heck is going on here?"

"My car broke down," says the lady, calmly.

"Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?"
asks the cop.

And she said, "Those are my emergency flashers!"

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Networking in public places or in the business arena might give you a handhold in a new direction. New friendships should be watched like a field of corn, as not every seed will sprout.

-- September 14, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, and Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You could be restless. You may want to move on to new opportunities or take unnecessary risks. Overconfidence may cause you to make a flawed financial decision this weekend.

-- September 15, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Warmth and enthusiasm could be mistakenly seen as a takeover bid. You may dive into a project this week only to find that your executive style has offended someone. Play it cool.

-- September 16, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

For three years, the young attorney had been taking his
brief vacations at this country inn. The previous year
he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's
daughter.

Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his
suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short.
There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!

"Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were
pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we
could have gotten married, and the baby would have my
name!"

"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my
condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and
decided it would be better to have a bastard in the
family than a lawyer."

[teapeebubbles]

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a
steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in
a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty
years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing, Keeps looking at the road ahead
but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph. The husband
speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out
of it," He says, "because I've been having an affair
with your best friend, And she's a far better lover
than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering
wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to
75 He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says
insistently..

Up to 80. "I want the car, too," he continues. "And,"
he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit
cards and the boat!" The car slowly starts veering
towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him
nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you
want?"

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled
voice. "No, I've got everything I need," she says.

"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph, the
wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag."

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There is a tarot card that depicts a hoodwinked maiden. Like her, you may not be able to see everything clearly because personal blinders or biases are in the way. Make no major steps.

-- September 17, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, and Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What is the definition of a "lucky break?"
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a
lawyer?
A: No one knows, there are some things even a
blonde won't do.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Shy away from commitments. Thoughtful reflection and consideration are required before you make a major decision, but time may be hard to find amid the hustle and bustle.

-- September 18, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, and Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Competition could seem threatening. Because you miscalculate the influence, ability or power of others, you could jump into action at the wrong time. Keep your money in your pocket.

-- September 19, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a
role of film?
A: A role of film can be developed.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Stick to the tried and true. There could be opposition to plans or obstacles in your path if you attempt to make a fresh start or change of direction. Maintain harmony with a loved one.

-- September 20, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, and Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What do you call a blond with a brain?
A: A golden retriever.

[teapeebubbles]

A blonde was driving down the Freeway when her Mobile
phone rang. It was her husband warning her:

"Darling", he said, "I just heard on the news that
there is a car going the wrong way down the Freeway.
Please be careful!"

"Its not just one car", cried the blonde, "There's
hundreds of them!"

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: When you can't make up your mind, don't force the issue. You may teeter-totter between unyielding ambition and lack of purpose. Others can't give you clear clues as to the right choice.

-- September 21, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?
A: It has a stamp on it.

[teapeebubbles]

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry
the little girl across the street. The father, being
modern and well schooled in handling children, hid his
smile behind his hand.

"That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it
out completely?"

"Yes," his young son answered. "We can spend one week
in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the
street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark."

"How about transportation?" the father asked.

"I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the
little boy answered.

The boy had an answer to every question the father
raised. Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, "What
about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have
babies, you know."

"We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied.
"We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an
egg, I'm going to step on it!"

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and
yeast infections?
A: A wine and cheese party!

[teapeebubbles]

Q. What do you throw a drowning lawyer?
A. His partners.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Avoid complications. This isn't an appropriate time to plunge headfirst into an enticing new relationship. There could be something presently unknown to you that will change your mind.

-- September 22, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You can't rest on laurels that you haven't earned. Don't delude yourself or forget to face the facts. You will find that if you ask the right questions, you will receive honest answers this week.

-- September 23, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, and Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

Atlanta has the second worst congestion in the country, though there has been some improvement, according to the study. In 2005, Atlanta drivers wasted an average of 60 hours a year in traffic delays - down from 70 hours a decade earlier.

A 2005 task force appointed by Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue called for directing more resources toward mitigating traffic congestion in the Atlanta area.

But the region's population is growing so fast that planners are having a tough time dealing with the increase in automobiles, said Jane Hayse, chief of transportation planning for the Atlanta Regional Commission.

"With the pace of growth that we have here, it's pretty difficult to reduce congestion," Hayse said. "Trying to keep it at today's level is really our goal."

The Atlanta metropolitan area added 890,000 people from 2000 to 2006, more than any other metro area in the country, according to census estimates. There were 5.1 million people in the Atlanta area in 2006.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Even a small leak can sink a great ship. It is a good time to patch things up with a dear friend, a close companion or a business adversary. To strike a perfect agreement, both sides must benefit.

-- September 24, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The path that leads to a new venture might be paved with gold. Don't discount your undeniable attractiveness. What seems like a casual flirtation might conceal profound passions.

-- September 25, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, and Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There is a reason for the rules. It is sometimes necessary to be callous in business, but it is never necessary to be unscrupulous. Loved ones may expect perfection at an inopportune time.

-- September 26, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Keep your book of etiquette close to hand. Others in the immediate vicinity could seem slightly sensitive to unintended slights or expect you to follow decorum to the letter.

-- September 27, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What does the postcard from a blonde on holiday say?
A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?

[teapeebubbles]

All Types Of Alcohol Increase Risk Of Breast Cancer In Women

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You have the sharp eyes of a soaring eagle. It is easy to spot the strings that are attached to an offer or invitation. A significant other will be unable to resist your numerous charms this evening.

-- September 28, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, and Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde ...

... She tripped over a cordless phone.

... She thought she needed a token to get on
"Soul Train."

... She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange
juice can because it said - "concentrate."

... She told me to meet her at the corner of
"WALK" and "DON'T WALK."

... She asked for a price check at the Dollar
Store.

... She studied for a blood test.

... When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22
bus twice instead.

... When she went to the airport and saw a sign
that said "Airport Left," she turned around
and went home.

... She sold the car for gas money!

[teapeebubbles]

Don't believe everything that you see.

It's all done with smoke and mirrors and push-up
bras!

[teapeebubbles]

Q: There are three girls in the third grade: a
brunette, a blonde, and a redhead. Which one
has the best body?
A: The blond of course. She's 18.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your sexual allure rises during the next several days. There is world enough and time to win someone's heart. Don't juggle business and romantic relationships at the same time.

-- September 29, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, and Johnny Carson.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their photo

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your inquisitive detective mind is awakened and sneaking suspicions could prove true, particularly when friends start repeating what they heard. It's all for the better, though, as you may win love along this path.

-- September 30, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, and Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Stash your money away like the proverbial squirrel, but be sure to remember where! Careers that have to do with tourism, travel or entertaining are benefiting from strong analytical contributions this week.

-- October 1, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Writing or taking exams should be easy, as your mind is very sharp today. Some may want to start faraway travels, but take care not to waylay papers. There could be delays, but the trip should be fruitful.

-- October 2, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, and Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What does a blonde say after a multiple
orgasm?
A: "Way to go, team!"

[teapeebubbles]

A man was complaining to a friend, "I had it all -
money, a magnificent house, a fast car, the love
of a beautiful woman... then, poof! It was all
gone!"

"What happened?" asked the friend.

"My wife found out..."

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Waking up with much emotional and passionate love will transform you into a joyous being for the whole day. Perfection and bliss are to be had in all areas except, perhaps, impulse shopping that you may regret.

-- October 3, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, and Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Emotions will run high at work; control yourself and spats will ease in the afternoon. Your mind wanders happily and your concentration is lacking. You're basking in yesterday's love. Trust your intuition and go ahead.

-- October 4, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, and Will Rogers.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror
with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like when she
was sleeping.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Hidden family secrets could be revealed and bring happy revelations. You're everyone's confidante today, so listen patiently, especially to your work friends, and you may learn tidbits of use to your career.

-- October 5, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, and Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Those around you may look up to you with sweet eyes and possible gifts. Friends will give sound financial advice. Wayward spouses should come back on the right path and love rekindled will mend past hurts.

-- October 6, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your life is much like a book. The best chapters are yet to come. This week explore alternative hobbies, pastimes or creative endeavors that bring happiness to a climactic point.

-- October 7, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, and Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Double-check the intricate details. Others might be vague about the fine points or have hopes that are built up prematurely. You can risk credibility if you rely on someone else's ideas.

-- October 8, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, and Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You radiate with the ability to put innovation and resourcefulness into dynamic action. Perhaps you are overly confident about an investment, but at least you aren't acting on baseless fears.

-- October 9, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You might think that someone has lost that loving feeling but Don't let a minor misunderstanding drive an invisible wedge between you and a special someone. It is just a temporary downturn.

-- October 10, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, and Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Make yourself known. Share your views and improve the quality of your life by widening your circle of friends. Group activities and the dynamics of interaction can make a positive difference.

-- October 11, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, and Katey Sagal.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Some people are too kindhearted to tell unpleasant truths under these stars. But rest assured that if you do your duty toward loved ones, there will be nothing unpleasant to hear.

-- October 12, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Spoil your romantic partner by doing all the traditional and expected things. Everyone needs time to enjoy life without any strings attached. There may be a boring business function to attend.

-- October 13, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Let the answering machine pick up your calls and avoid a choice. You have worked, scrimped and saved, so this could be a good week to think about ways to protect your nest egg.

-- October 14, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, and Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!!
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help
me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't Figure out how to get it
started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?' The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger.'

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with thepuzzle. She lets him in and shows him
where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, 'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into
anything resembling a tiger.'

He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax.

Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....'

He sighed..............

'Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box.'

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Trade secrets. Take someone into your confidence and they may offer a valuable piece of data in return. You may be considered a hot item in the romance department this evening.

-- October 15, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A penny saved is a penny earned. You may be more generous with your pennies than certain bosom buddies because you can visualize future possibilities. Still, you mustn't waste resources.

-- October 16, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Keep the lines of communications open. Your secretive side hates to make disclosures or admissions, but frankness could open important doors. An invasion of privacy could be good for you.

-- October 17, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

Quit cryin'
Opinion: Ellen, outburst over dog isn't helping

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Confidence levels are high and may go higher by tomorrow. You could experience a lucky break or simply have the good judgment necessary to make major purchases or initiatives.

-- October 18, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, and Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Put all your eggs safely in one basket. Your judgment is better than usual, so you are likely to make wise financial decisions. A new heartthrob might have amorous plans for the weekend.

-- October 19, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, and Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Use your superb business know-how to handle finances with finesse. You have big dreams, but don't forget about support and loyalty. Be especially kind toward a special someone.

-- October 20, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, and Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The bigger your ambitions, the harder they can fall. You may be forced to kowtow to rules and regulations that truly cramp your style as this week unfolds. Do it with a smile, not a frown.

-- October 21, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money
was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll
be ruined."

"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.

"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"

"Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A
stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might
even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn't
even smile at the judge."

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision
in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the
courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip
about the cigars. It worked!"

"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."

"But, I did send them."

"What? You did?" said the lawyer, incredulously.

"Yes. That's how we won the case."

"I don't understand," said the lawyer. "It's easy. I
sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's
business card."

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: If and when push comes to shove, don't shove back. You could come to an impasse but that will give you time to reconsider your actions. Wait a few days to sign important documents.

-- October 22, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Sticky situations will turn out all right in the end if you maintain a low profile. Keep your temper in check. Following rules and regulations to the nth degree will bring eventual success.

-- October 23, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

Fun Facts About Scorpio

By the Astrocenter Team


Beneath a controlled, cool exterior beats the heart of the deeply intense Scorpion. Passionate, penetrating, and determined, this sign will probe until they reach the truth. The Scorpion may not speak volumes or show their emotions readily, yet rest assured there's an enormous amount of activity happening beneath the surface. Excellent leaders, the Scorpion is always aware. When it comes to resourcefulness, this sign comes out ahead.

Friends and Family
Sincerity and truth are strong components of the Scorpion's friends. It can take some time before really close bonds are formed, but once done, the Scorpion will remain dedicated and loyal. Witty and intellectual, they prefer companions who are humorous and easygoing. Full of surprises, this sign will give you the shirt off their backs if that's what you need; yet, once they are crossed, there's no turning back. They feel deeply, and once hurt, it can be impossible to turn things around. Commitment to family is strong and consistent with the Scorpion. They are exceptionally helpful in managing affairs, and they are excellent advocates when one is needed.

Career and Money
"I desire" is the key phrase for the Scorpion. They are fantastic at managing, solving, or creating. Once the Scorpion sets their sights on a goal, there's no deterring this sign. Tasks that require a scientific, penetrating approach are always best done by the Scorpion, as they will delve deeply into the materials they have. Their ability to focus, coupled with determination, makes for strong management skills. They're not ones to worry about making friends on the job scene; rather, they prefer to see the task accomplished well.

Pursuing such careers as a scientist, doctor, investigator, navigator, detective, researcher, police officer, business manager, and psychologist all suit the mighty Scorpion. Respect is an essential aspect of working for this sign. They need to respect their coworkers, while also feeling a sense of being respected by others.

Disciplined enough to stick to a budget and unafraid of working as hard and as long as it takes puts the Scorpion in a good financial position. Many are fortunate and inherit money. Whatever the case - and regardless of the balance - they are great managers of their dollars and are not apt to overspend at all. Money means security and a sense of control, which is important to the Scorpion. Therefore, they're going to hang onto the majority of the cash, making decisions carefully before turning any of it over.

Love and Sex
This is the strongest of the sexualities in the zodiac. Incredibly passionate, the Scorpion takes intimacy seriously. Partners need to be intelligent and honest. Much of the foreplay for this sign happens long before the bedroom through conversation and observation. Once in love, they are devoted and loyal to the death. But relationships can take some time. The Scorpion needs to build trust and respect for a potential mate slowly and thoroughly.

SCORPIO TIDBITS

Scorpio Birthdays
October 23 - November 21

Health
Each sign has a part of the anatomy attached to it, making this the area of the body that is most sensitive to stimulation. The anatomical areas for Scorpio are the genitals, bladder, rectum, and the reproductive organs.

Ruling Planet
The ruling planet for Scorpio is Pluto. Traditionally, this planet rules that which is hidden from view. It also represents conception, birth and death, slow growth, generation, regeneration, unpopular causes, anonymity, phobias, and the exposition of secrets.

Colors
The colors of choice for Scorpio are dark red to maroon.

Gemstone
Scorpio's star stone is the opal.

Lucky Numbers
Scorpio's lucky numbers are 2, 7, and 9.

Compatibility
Scorpions are most compatible with Pisces and Cancer.

Opposite Sign
The opposite sign of Scorpio is Taurus.

The Perfect Gift
The best gifts for a Scorpio are sentimental choices, clothing (especially something sexy), and non-fiction books.

Likes
Truth, facts, flirtation, long-time friends

Dislikes
The superficial, flattery, shallow people, being taken advantage of

House
Natural sign of the Eighth House. This house focuses on sex, taxes, death and rebirth, a partner's resources, inheritance, and regeneration.

Famous Scorpios
Carl Sagan, Jodie Foster, Indira Gandhi, Prince Charles and Grace Kelly

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Seek a little tenderness. Hang out with the guys or gals from work: A budding office romance could blossom under these conditions. An ongoing relationship could emerge from a rut.

-- October 24, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, and Pablo Picasso.

[teapeebubbles]

A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a
terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the
saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought
and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally
figured out how to take at least some of his money with
him when he died.

He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw
enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed
her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave
them directly above his bed. His plan was that when he
passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on
his way to heaven.

Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's
wife had gone up in the attic to clean. Coming upon the
two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash she exclaimed,
"Oh, that darned old fool, I knew he should have had me
put the money in the basement."

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Howl a bit at this full moon. Family members or a special someone may spoil you outrageously but that may be because you are willing to prove your commitment in all the right ways.

-- October 25, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, and Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

If October 26 is your birthday

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Your determination and refusal to take no for an answer can mean you achieve great success in the year ahead. Buckle down and work hard to achieve your dearest ambitions -- especially in November and December when past mistakes need to be corrected once and for all. Challenges that frustrate you in December can be overcome in January. You can trust to luck and providential help from others in the beginning of the year.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't let a good one get away. A circle of friends could seem to stand in the way of your latest passion. Impetuous indiscretions or a fling can cause an upset if you take it too seriously.

-- October 26, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

Tossing dog off balcony gets man 3 years in jail

S.C. man apologizes for injuring puppy during fight with girlfriend

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21492378/?GT1=10450

[teapeebubbles]

"What's your dog's name?" the woman asked.

"Herpes," replied the dog's owner.

"Why Herpes?"

"Because he won't heel!"

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Those secret yearnings and hidden desires may have ample opportunity to be realized. Make an effort to please yourself and you might find a partner willing to share in your pleasures.

-- October 27, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, and Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There is world enough and time this week. Enjoy special moments of intimate togetherness with a significant other. Only purchase items that are sure to last a long time and give enduring joy.

-- October 28, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Wine 'em and dine 'em. Your special someone is in the mood for love and will be delighted by sensual treats. Buy something daring or dramatic that will give you pleasure for years.

-- October 29, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Exercise your good taste and discrimination. Team up with an accomplished co-worker who can fill in the gaps in your knowledge or spend time with those who improve your outlook.

-- October 30, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

On the WBAM FM Morning Show in Chicago, the DJs
play a game with listeners called "Mate Match".
While on the air, the DJs call someone at random
and ask if they are married or seriously involved
with someone.

If the listener answers "yes", he or she is then
asked three highly personal questions. The person
is also asked to divulge the name of their partner
and their phone number. The DJs then call the
"mate", ask them the same series of questions,
and if their answers "match", the couple wins a
big prize.

Here's how a recent game went:

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you
ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"

CONTESTANT: (laughing) "Yes, I have."

DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving
away a five-day all-expenses paid
trip to Orlando, Florida if you win.
What's your name? First only please."

CONTESTANT: "Brian."

DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"

BRIAN: "Yes."

DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married
or you're what?"

BRIAN: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."

DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's
name? First only please."

BRIAN: "Sara."

DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"

BRIAN: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at
work?"

BRIAN: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."

DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the
last time you had sex?"

BRIAN: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"

BRIAN: "About 8 o'clock this morning."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

BRIAN: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."

DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"

BRIAN: "About 10 minutes."

DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh?
No one would ever have said that if a
free trip to Florida wasn't at stake."

BRIAN: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."

DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you
have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"

BRIAN: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."

DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was
it at?"

BRIAN: "Not that it was all that great, but
her mom is staying with us for a
couple of weeks..."

DJ: "Uh huh..."

BRIAN: "...and her mother was in the shower
at the time."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

BRIAN: "On the kitchen table."

DJ: "Not that great?? That's more adventure
than the previous 100 times I've done
it!! Okay folks, I'm going to put Brian
on hold, get his wife's work number and
call her. You can listen in."

DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall
we?" (touch tones.....ringing....)

CLERK: "Good Morning, Kinkos."

DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"

CLERK: "Yes, just a moment."

SARAH: "Hi, this is Sarah"

DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are
live on the air right now and I've been
talking with Brian for a couple of hours
now."

SARAH: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"

DJ: "Well, a while. He's on the line with us
now. Brian knows not to give any answers
away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you
know the rules of 'Mate Match'?"

SARAH: "No."

DJ: "Good!"

BRIAN: (laughing)

SARAH: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you
up to?"

BRIAN: (laughing) "Just answer his questions
honestly, okay? Be completely honest."

DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask
you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers
match Brian's answers, then the both of
you will be off to Orlando, Florida for
5 days on us. Disney World. Sea World.
Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole
deal. Get it Sarah?"

SARAH: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex,
Sarah?"

SARAH: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning
before Brian went to work."

DJ: "What time?"

SARAH: "Around 8 this morning."

DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long
did it last?"

SARAH: "12, 15 minutes maybe."

DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure
she is trying to protect his manhood.
We've got one last question, Sarah.
You're one question away from a trip
to Florida. Are you ready?"

SARAH: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Where did you have it?"

SARAH: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell
them that, did you?"

BRIAN: "Just tell him, honey."

DJ: "What's bothering you so much, Sarah?"

SARAH: "Well, it's just that my mom is
vacationing....

DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have
it?

SARAH: "In the ass....."

After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need
to take a station break"

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Everybody needs somebody sometime. Whether you are bobbing for apples at a neighborhood party or just shopping at the mall you need a congenial companion to energize your steps.

-- October 31, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, and Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: If you are in the mood to seek greener pastures, remember that fences can be climbed. When surrounded by turkeys remember that you possess the ability to fly like an eagle.

-- November 1, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, and Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

One day an extremely well-dressed and successful lawyer was driving to a meeting when he found that the front left tire on his Porsche was flat.

"What am I going to do?" he thought. But then he saw a gas station up ahead. It was a rundown shack with a grizzled man in overalls sitting on a porch with pools of oil, but at least it was a gas station; in the window was a large sign saying 'help wanted'. The executive drove up and got out of the car and explained the situation.

"Why sure!" said the mechanic "I'm lookin' for a boy to work for me and help me out, so we're kinda short-handed".

He looked over the dapper, dignified and impeccably dressed lawyer’s very expensive navy blue pinstriped business suit, his imported silk tie and gleaming cuff links and white shirt, his polished black shoes, his hundred dollar haircut and his $1500 briefcase.

'My name is Bud! You must be one of them lawyer!" said the mechanic. "I can tell by your classy kicks!"

"My WHAT?" snapped the exec.

"Your KICKS! Your SHOES! Mighty classy, sir! But they look like they’re a little too tight! That’s what’s makin’ you so bad tempered!" grinned the mechanic.

"Yes. Well, the FIRST thing people notice are your shoes!" said the lawyer in a condescending tone, as he straightened his tie and checked the shine on his shoes. "And they are NOT too tight! I’m NOT bad-tempered! I am just in a hurry – something you wouldn’t understand. My name is Mr. James Porter. I am making an important court appearance today! My whole career depends on it. Now please get to work! What are you doing?!"

Bud was pulling out a huge pail of water. "You get a free car wash today, Jimmy! I sure wish I had a boy to work for me - I gotta do this all myself! Do YOU know somebody to work her for me? I’ve been lookin’ fer a long time! Whoever gets the job lives right here in his own shack!"

"Of course not. Do I LOOK like someone who would know a GREASE MONKEY? And my name is MISTER PORTER. Not Jimmy! And I don't have time for a car wash!" cried Mr. Porter.

"Of course, Mister Porter. I should have KNOWN! A big hotshot lawyer like you wouldn’t know any grease monkeys! Now, don't worry! You upper class folks are always worryin'!" And at that moment, Bud's foot hit the pail of water, and it toppled over, completely soaking Mr. Porter's expensively shod feet.

"NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!" yelled Mr. Porter. "My feet are DRENCHED through! SOAKED! Do you know how much these shoes cost! Someone like YOU doesn't have to worry about this!"

"Oh, sir! Please accept my apology, SIR! All over your fancy high class kicks! Well, it's a fine day, just take off yer shoes and socks and let 'em dry! They look they're too tight, anyway! That's why you're so bad tempered. Tight shoes will do it every time. Nobody is gonna see ya, sir!"

"Take off my shoes and socks! They're NOT too tight! They were handmade for me. I suppose I have no choice! I'm just glad that my colleagues can't see this!" said Mr. Porter, as he sat on the porch and slowly, grudgingly slid his feet out of his highly polished black Ferragamo shoes and then peeled off his silk business socks. Bud picked up the shoes and whistled with admiration.

"Mighty fancy!" he said, with a grin. "EYETALIAN! FERRY-GAMO! Too bad they're so tight! And them socks sure are fancy, too! Real classy! No harm done! Ya know, you look like you belong here now that yer barefoot!"

"Put my shoes down immediately! How dare you put your filthy hands on them! I will NEVER look like I BELONG here! I feel ridiculous..." said Mr. Porter coldly.

Mr. Porter carefully arranged his suit and tie as if to make up for the indignity of going barefoot.

"Lemme show ya somethin', Mister Porter" said Bud, who got into the car and drove it forward and ran over Mr. Porter's briefcase, ruining it.

"MY BRIEFCASE!" yelled the lawyer.

"Sorry, sir! But I have to tell ya something!" said Bud, who was bending over the engine.

"I didn't ask you to look at the engine" shouted Mr. Porter. "You destroyed my briefcase!! All my papers..."

"But you got a problem!" said Bud. "Look! Get closer!"

Mr. Porter leaned over the engine. "I don't see anything?"

"Closer!" said Bud.

"I still don't?" and Mr. Porter began to lift his head, and felt himself stuck.

"My tie!" he yelled. "My necktie and my suspenders! They're caught in the engine!"

"Look what ya done, sir! I'll get ya free!"

"I DIDN'T DO THIS!" yelled Mr. Porter, but he couldn't move at all. His tie and his suspenders had gotten tied up in the engine. Somehow.

"Now just hold still!? said Bud, and in a moment, Mr. Porter was free, and his tie and suspenders were in Bud's hands.

"ARE YOU INSANE?!" yelled Mr. Porter. "You took those off me. Why?! Give me those."

"Mr. Porter" said Bud, ignoring the comment. "I'm gonna need yer help in getting that tire out of the back, and then you gotta help me get the new one - it's underneath an old engine. I can't lift 'em, ya see. I got lumbago. It's too bad I ain't got a boy to work for me!"

"What?!" said Mr. Porter. "You expect ME to do it? Look at this suit! This is a two thousand dollar suit! It was tailored for me. I can't get it dirty, and this is a silk tie! And a hundred dollar shirt! I'm a LAWYER! An attorney! I don't do menial work."

"I'm sorry, sir," said Bud. "There's no other way! I know! Why don't ya take off yer nice suit and that shirt and the cufflinks? Ya better take off yer fancy wristwatch too! Ya don’t want to get ‘em dirty, do you? I got a fine pair of OVERALLS for ya!"

"This is an outrage!" cried Mr. Porter. "I will NOT take off my business suit! I have my dignity and my pride!"

"Then you'll have yer dignity and yer pride but you won't get a new tire" said Bud.

Mr. Porter stomped and fumed but finally gave in and angrily stripped off his pinstriped business suit, his cufflinks and his starched white shirt and placed them on a wooden table. He even took off his Rolex. Then he put on the greasy overalls and pulled the tire out of the trunk.

But just then his bare feet hit a patch of oil, and he staggered backwards and fell; the filthy tire fell on top of him. He felt his head hit something soft. Bud ran over and said: "Mr. Porter, it's a good thing your head hit the tar! It broke yer fall!"


The lawyer pushed the tire off, and felt the grease, gravel and tar all over his t-shirt and his face. He lifted what had been a manicured hand to his head and felt a mass of something gooey.

"My hair!" Mr. Porter yelled, as he stood.

"I gotta cut that tar out, sir! It ain't gonna come out any other way!" and he pulled out some scissors and with a few quick snips, the executive's thick head of hair was replaced by a patchy crewcut.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" yelled Mr. Porter. "MY HAIR!"

"Here, this will calm ya down, Jimmy boy!" Bud shoved a bottle of whiskey into Mr. Porter's hand and poured some of it on his shirt.

"NO!" yelled the lawyer. "LOOK AT ME, YOU MORON! AND CALL ME MISTER PORTER!!"

"Leave me alone! Help, police!" screamed Bud. He grabbed Mr. Porter's cell phone and called the police and then called the newspaper.

“What are you DOING?” shouted the lawyer.

In a moment the police were there.

Bud whimpered: "This man is drunk! Just smell him, officer! And tried to beat me up! and rob the till! He even tried to KILL me!"

"I DID NOT!" shouted Mr. Porter.

"Assault, robbery, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, drunkenness, attempted murder...you're coming with me!"

And the policeman dragged the struggling Mr. Porter, barefoot in overalls off to jail.

The next day the judge prepared to sentence Mr. Porter to twenty years behind bars while they all looked at the newspaper with the headline: Drunk Lawyer Holds Up Garage! Thief Jailed for Assault, Attempted Murder and Robbery. Then they saw the same story on the internet. It was everywhere! James had been fired from his job and his own law firm refused to see him. His former friends were shocked at his behavior. His family was furious.

But Bud said; "Your honor, don't put this man behind bars! He ATTACKED me, but, I'll allow him to make it up to me - I got an idea!”

"What do you mean?" yelled Mr. Porter. "I....I am a LAWYER! I am INNOCENT! What do you mean an idea?!""

A month later, a customer drove up to Bud's and Bud called his new assistant to wait on him. A man in overalls and work boots and a crew cut came out, covered with grime, and started to work on the car.

"JIMMY BOY! Don't forget the oil! You ex-cons are always slow!" yelled Bud.

"YES, SIR!" said Jimmy-boy Porter.

A “help wanted” sign lay in the garbage.

In the window was an Italian pinstriped business suit, a silk tie, a white shirt, a pair of braces and a pair of cuff links with the initials JP with a "for sale" sign.

"Don't forget what I told ya!" snapped Bud. "Did you polish 'em up?"

"Yes, but, please..." said Jimmy-boy.

"You don't need 'em anymore! I'm your boss...NOW MOVE IT! Remember how much I got when I sold your wristwatch?" yelled Bud.

“You sold it for only $50!” cried Jimmy-boy. “And you kept the money!”

“Of course I did! And I got a good deal when I made you sell your fancy sports car!” snapped Bud.

“My Porsche! You made me sell it for only a thousand dollars for scrap!” yelled Jimmy-boy.

"Well, it wasn’t your car anymore, was it? I got you a job and a shack to live in! You’d be coolin’ yer heels in jail if it wasn’t for me!” said Bud.

“But I’m innocent! You KNOW that!” said Jimmy boy.

“Now don’t go on like that! Or you’ll be back behind bars! And it’s only right for me to keep the car and the watch and all those fine clothes you were wearin’! And remember – you ain’t some high and mighty lawyer anymore! You gotta talk like ME! And call me SIR!" shouted Bud.

"Yes, sir..." Jimmy-boy sighed and went up to the customer.

"Sir, my name is Mister James Por...I mean Jimmy boy. We got a special today - with an oil change, you can buy these real cheap."

He held up a pair of very expensive polished gentleman's business shoes.

"These are for sale. One pair of Ferragamo shoes - once worn by a former lawyer who - who doesn't need ‘em anymore – he used to be a lawyer…now he’s a ….grease monkey…best offer, silk socks included."

Bud said: "Go on!"

Jimmy boy sighed and said: "After all, the first thing people notice are your shoes. Real classy kicks..."

[teapeebubbles]

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"

What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what the types were.

The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"

Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"

The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.”

[teapeebubbles]

A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at ''Lovers' Cove'' where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.
''NO!'' yelled the blonde.

The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again.

''NO!'' the blonde yelled again.

Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.

''Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?'' asked the guy.

''For the last time, NO!'' said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked, ''Well, why the hell not?''
The blonde looked at him and said, ''Because I wanna stay up here with you.''

[teapeebubbles]

One night, as a couple lies down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.

The wife turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.

This time he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow, too?"

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Someone may offer false assurances. If business and money are concerned, or romance is the main subject, avoid making a firm promise as conditions may change over the weekend.

-- November 2, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, and Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As the head came out it was dark and had an afro. The doctor said, "Madam, have you ever slept with a black man?"

"Well, yes, but only once."
"Once is all it takes" he replied.


Then the torso came out and it was yellow.
"Madam, have you ever slept with an oriental man?"
"Well, yes" she said, "but only once."

"Once is all it takes," he said.
When the legs came out they were red. The doctor asked her if she had ever slept with an Indian.
"Well, yes" she said, "but only once."
"Once is all it takes," he said.

He finally pulled the baby all the way out and held it upside down and slapped its bottom to make it cry. As it started to cry the woman exclaimed "Oh, thank God, at least it doesn't bark!"

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Early morning laziness must be banished. Exercise will clear the cobwebs and put you in a better frame of mind. Be decisive and forthright for the best success this weekend.

-- November 3, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be a participant. You can't be merely a spectator who watches from a so-called ivory tower this week. Dig deep into the nitty-gritty and get your hands dirty. You will be glad you did.

-- November 4, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, and Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

3 dogs, a Doberman, a Boxer and a Labrador are sitting in a vets office and strike up a conversation.

The Doberman turns to the Boxer and asks, what are you here for?

"I'm a pisser", "I piss on everything", the sofa, the cat, the kid but the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owners bed.

So, what is the vet gonna do? the Doberman asks. "Lethal injection" came the sad reply from the Boxer.

The Doberman turns to the Lab and asked the same question.

"I'm a digger", I dig under fences, I dig up flowers and trees. I dig for the hell of it. When inside I even dig up the carpets, but I went over the limit when I dug a hole in the middle of the owner's couch.

So, what they gonna go to you? "Lethal injection," replied the Dejected Lab.

The Lab asked the Doberman why he was there.

"I'm a humper. I'll hump anything, I'll hump the cat, pillows, the table, fire hydrants. Whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just gotten out of the shower and bent down to dry her toes and I couldn't help myself and hopped on her back and started humping away.

The Boxer and Lab exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, lethal injection for you too, huh?"

No, No, the Doberman said. "I'm here to get my nails clipped."

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You needn't pay to play. Someone may be attracted by your mysterious aura, but only because they want to own it. Don't make investments and keep a potential new hookup at arm's length.

-- November 5, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You must remember what happened to the little boy who cried wolf too many times. Don't act on whims and be forgiving if people at work or at home seem a bit impulsive today.

-- November 6, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

After the only cow in a small Kentucky town suddenly stopped giving milk, the angry townspeople discovered they could buy a new cow in Illinois for $200. So they raised the money and bought the cow, which produced milk continuously.

Happy with their success, the townspeople decided to buy a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. However, every time the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away.

Confused and upset, the townspeople consulted with the local vet.

"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away," said a town elder. "If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An attempt from the side, she walks away to the other side."

The vet thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Illinois?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a wise vet," they said. "How did you know that?"

The vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Illinois."

[teapeebubbles]

For three straight years, a young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at the same country inn, several times per year. During his last visit he'd finally managed to seduce the innkeeper's gorgeous daughter, so he could wait to go there again.

Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!

"Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"

"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about us and that I was pregnant, we sat up all night talking and talking and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."

[teapeebubbles]

Blonde Year in Review
January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

February - Couldn't work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn't fit into the typewriter.

March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because the box said "2-4 years".

April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.

June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.

August - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top was down.

September - When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C."

October - Hates M &M's because they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 120.

December - Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone button.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Ambition is so strong you can taste it. What you think is a great opportunity may have some serious strings attached. Don't invest your money or your time in something illusionary.

-- November 7, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul.

Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both come from good families. Both are equally attractive and well spoken. It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each candidate aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer?

Only seconds after talking to them both, he chooses Paul.

Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside after the interview. "I don't understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?"

"I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Paul replies.

"Your hands? What do you mean?"

"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in either of them!"

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You may walk precariously on a balance beam that is not of your making. Certain situations require tough business measures, but at the same time you must champion an underdog.

-- November 8, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, and Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There is a new moon in your sign today. The next four weeks might see you consciously striving to be more sympathetic and less businesslike. You may wish to take extra care with your appearance.

-- November 9, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

ATLANTA - An electrical fire cut power to a concourse at Hartfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport for more than three hours Friday morning, causing flight delays and cancellations.

The fire, reported around 6:30 a.m. EST in an electrical closet, was put out and no injuries were reported, airport spokesman Herschel Grangent said. Utility crews restored power by 10 a.m.

Gateways to planes were not functioning because of the outage, Grangent said.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Sit on the sidelines and wait for your turn to shine. The mood might not be quite right for the amorous evening you planned with your favorite honey. Look for entertaining distractions.

-- November 10, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, and Jodie Foster.

[teapeebubbles]

Dos and Don'ts: Scorpio
October 23 - November 22

November Forecast
Are you aware of the changes coming?

You radiate sex like a star radiates light, and there's never a shortage of potential partners who are drawn into your aura. Yet there is a part of you that desperately needs sufficient alone time – first of all to get away from those demanding attention, and secondly to get your thoughts together and come to terms with a number of matters. It is said that Scorpios can be either the greatest of sinners or the greatest of saints – sinners in that they enjoy the pleasures of this world a bit too much, and saints in that they tend to be intuitive often to the point of being a true mystic.

It's not always easy for you to combine these two apparently disparate sides of yourself, but somehow you manage to come to terms with them. This makes you an especially intriguing companion – the "mystery" man or woman who attracts interest while revealing very little of your true nature. Not everybody you meet will understand you – but they'll almost certainly remember you always.

WHEN MEETING NEW PEOPLE:

DO: Listen, but be careful not to gaze too intently at the speaker. Respond once in a while, instead of being the strong, silent type. Even if you don't have much to say, comment occasionally. This will set those around you at ease.

DON'T: Express your opinions too forcefully. If the subject is controversial, keep your most passionate ideas to yourself. As you know people better, you can be more outspoken. But if you want to make new friends, tone it down at first.

WHEN DATING:

DO: Look your best in whatever style you're most comfortable. Don't try to look sexy. You radiate that quality anyway, and if you're on a first, second, or even third date, you don't want to be overwhelming.

DON'T: Force your date to bear the entire burden of the conversation. It's great to be a good listener, but if you don't speak up occasionally, your date could feel like being with you is too much work.

IN FASHION:

DO: You prefer dark colors, and they probably suit you. However, don't always do the Johnny Cash thing and wear nothing but black. Accessorize with color, and jewelry if you like it. Otherwise, you'll appear too intimidating.

DON'T: Forget about what you're going to wear until the day of the event. Plan in advance. Otherwise, you might find that all your appropriate clothes are in the wash.

WHEN STARTING A NEW WORKOUT PROGRAM:

DO: Join a gym and find a personal trainer. For you, exercise is a chore, not an invigorating pastime. It's more fun, however, if you work with someone whose enthusiasm is catching.

DON'T: Offset the benefits of your workout by eating too much. Ask your trainer if he or she can recommend a dietary regimen that will satisfy your hunger while promoting your fitness goals.

WHEN CLIMBING THE CAREER LADDER:

DO: Emphasize your perseverance, and skill with money. You may not enjoy business parties, but you can cope. Just be polite, and speak from time to time.

DON'T: Spend too much time working. If a fortune is at stake, you might be tempted to work overtime to get things done, but even you have your limits. Always make sure you get enough sleep.

WHEN DEALING WITH A NASTY NEIGHBOR:

DO: Make the most of your intensity. Stare her right in the eye, and allow her to scream and yell until she's too tired to say any more. Then say, "Is that all?" She just might turn tail and run back in the house!

DON'T: Say anything that could be construed as a threat. Your intensity is enough to throw her off guard. Then, quietly, if you can, correct whatever problem she has. Believe me, she won't know what to make of it at all!

WHEN SHOPPING:

DO: Be sure you buy whatever it is you need. Go for quality. You tend to pinch pennies, but if you need something, buy it. If you don't, you'll just have to come back to the store.

DON'T: Get bored and go home before you finish what you came for.

WHEN DOING HOUSEHOLD CHORES:

DO: Get some help and make a party of it. Usually, you don't mind being alone, but housework can be so boring that you may need some company to ensure that you get it done.

DON'T: Start having so much fun you forget what you're supposed to be doing.

WHEN COOKING:

DO: Try to find some better food than what you can pick up at fast food joints. You need to take care of your health, perhaps more so than others. Find a low-fat cookbook and use it.

DON'T: Fall back into your old patterns.

WHEN DRIVING ON THE FREEWAY:

DO: Stay alert. Don't go off into a fugue and sink into your own thoughts. No matter how empty the highway, it's still safety first. Try playing lots of loud music.

DON'T: Take out your frustrations on the road.

WHEN IN LOVE:

DO: Show your feelings profusely. Bottling them up won't do you or your beloved any good. Be affectionate.

DON'T: Share your frustrations with your beloved. If you don't, your mate will think you're upset with him, or her. Don't create more insecurity than your dear one already has. Be more open.

[teapeebubbles]

A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an
operation. She was awake, so he examined her.

"You'll be fine," he said. She asked,

"How long will it be before I am able to have a normal
sex life again doctor?"

The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't
I?"

He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one
has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

[teapeebubbles]

"He leaves you to go live with Michael Vick." -- David Letterman's Top 10 signs your dog hates you

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A respite from the recent spotlight you've been in may be a welcome change today. Many things should be flowing in your life-take today to prepare for the busy week to come.

-- November 11, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your mind may be especially busy today with insights and plans. Take note of your ideas but wait until at least next week to implement them. Your words carry special charm for a few days.

-- November 12, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, and Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Extra emotionality early in the day will pass quickly and should probably not be acted upon. Put your winning ways to use and make inroads now into desirable areas - but don't finalize anything important.

-- November 13, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Serious monetary moves are strongly discouraged this week-postpone what you can. Overall you are making more progress than you may realize now, so you can afford to be patient.

-- November 14, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio celebrities are born under the powerful and hypnotic planet Pluto, and that gives these stars the ability to captivate and beguile their audiences. Scorpio natives can completely transform themselves and like their symbol the eagle soar above the crowd. Scorpio ladies are the femme fatales of the zodiac, and their male counterparts have a brooding and sexually fascinating quality. A love affair with a Scorpio is a once in a lifetime experience, and filled with intense emotion and passion.

Maggie Gyllenhall:
November 16, 1977
Quirky Maggie Gyllenhall was born in New York City to an illustrious showbiz family. Her father is an Emmy nominated director, her mother is a screenwriter, and her brother Jake is a noted actor. Maggie’s talent and unique personality shines through in her acting roles. Maggie and Jake acted together in the cult film Donnie Darko, and Maggie made a name for herself in the Indie flick Secretary. Scorpio is of the water element and sensitive Maggie is willing to take roles that don’t always portray her in a good light. She garnered rave reviews as a reformed drug addict in the film SherryBaby. Maggie has the Scorpio ability to penetrate to the heart of her film roles, and she isn’t afraid to display her profound emotions on screen. She has stated that she isn’t interested in superficial roles, and she is a wise and thoughtful soul. In addition to Maggie’s serious Scorpio side, she also has an original, offbeat, and fun way of dressing, thinking and expressing herself. Maggie and her partner, fellow actor and writer Peter Sarsgaard, are the proud parents of a daughter, Ramona, born in 2006.

Ryan Gosling:
November 12, 1980
It’s hard to believe this hot Scorpio actor was born in cold climate Canada, but it’s true. Delicious Ryan Gosling captured Sandra Bullock’s heart for a time while they were working together on the flick Murder by Numbers, and he was only 22! One of People Magazine’s 50 Hottest bachelors in 2004, Ryan was nominated for Best Actor for his role in Half Nelson. Ryan got his start in show biz when he won out over 17,000 contestants for a role in the Mickey Mouse Club back in January of 1993. This single-minded Scorpio showed his determination to be a star early in life, and he left Canada to live in Los Angeles to pursue his acting career when he was just 16, later appearing in TV’s Young Hercules and the film Remember the Titans. Ryan has no formal acting training, but relies on his instinctive Scorpio ability to understand emotion, and to transfer his own strong feelings to the screen. Many Scorpio natives need to have a cathartic outlet for all the turbulent emotions swirling around inside them and in addition to acting, Ryan is an accomplished jazz guitarist.

Julia Roberts:
October 28, 1967
Tantalizing Julia Roberts first graced the screen in Mystic Pizza, and later captivated audiences as 1990s kooky and gorgeous Pretty Woman. Julia hails from Smyrna, Georgia, and she got her start in films thanks to her brother, actor Eric Roberts. Outspoken Julia is a testament to her no nonsense Scorpio sign. Julia speaks out and says exactly what she feels, no questions asked, and is upfront and direct when she does her interviews. Pluto ruled Julia makes no apologies for her life, or how, she lives it. Julia embodies the sexually liberated Scorpio woman, and her exotic looks fascinated and beguiled a string of noted lovers prior to her marriage to Danny Moder, a cameraman on her film The Mexican. The film wasn’t a blockbuster, but it led to Julia’s much publicized romance with Danny, and their subsequent marriage after Danny divorced his first wife, a makeup artist. Julia and Danny Moder now have three children, and she juggles her acting career with that of being a mom. Julia in resolute Scorpio style took several years off from being Hollywood’s number one celebrity to raise her kids, something she is reportedly very proud of.

Leonardo DiCaprio:
November 11, 1974
Hollywood, California is the birthplace of luscious Leonardo DiCaprio, and that’s lucky for him, since he didn’t have far to travel when his mom took him around to casting studios when he was a child. Leonardo made the grade as a child actor, and he quickly got offers to do commercials, TV, and movie roles followed. Leonardo’s handsome leading man looks, along with his penetrating Scorpio eyes, have enabled him to become one of the most sought after actors in recent times. Sexy Leonardo hit the big time with his role as Jack in The Titanic, and he has never looked back. Pluto natives have a reputation as being more sexually proficient than any other sign, and Leonardo’s romances with a series of top, hot supermodels certainly seems to attest to that fact. Leonardo has been nominated for an Oscar several times, and he is not just a pretty face, he is also a very perceptive and sensitive actor. Leonardo has established an allegiance with fellow Scorpio director Martin Scorsese, and together they have an impressive body of work behind them in Gangs of New York, The Aviator, and The Departed.

Joaquin Phoenix:
October 28, 1974
Intensity blazes from the eyes of Scorpio Joaquin Phoenix, and not just when he is on screen. Joaquin has eyes you could melt into, and many women would jump at the chance to dive into his impenetrable Pluto ruled depths. Joaquin has a reputation in the press of being uncommunicative, but that’s just his Scorpio self. Joaquin, like most Scorpio natives, is guarded with strangers and cuts off the small talk, unless you are a member of his inner circle and one of the select few he trusts and respects. Joaquin in true Scorpio fashion values his privacy and doesn’t want to have it trampled on, certainly not by the news media. Joaquin was born in San Juan, Puerto Rico and his parents were free spirits who gave him and his four siblings unusual names, and an unusual childhood. All of Joaquin’s siblings have entered the acting profession. The first Phoenix sibling to achieve fame was his beloved brother River, who died of a drug overdose in 1993. Joaquin received rave reviews in his Oscar nominated role in Gladiator, and he continued his success in Walk the Line, the film bio of country singer Johnny Cash.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: It's OK to plan ahead now, but be prepared to make adjustments before moving forward. Even more luck is on its way soon, but this is not the week to make any serious strides.

-- November 15, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A portion of today could again be emotionally excessive, so take some deep breaths and wait for clarity and calm to return before taking action. If you do this, you will likely feel very different in just a few hours.

-- November 16, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

November 16, 2007

You should be feeling especially strong and healthy today, dear Scorpio. The drive to exercise, particularly if you do it alone and outdoors, is likely to get the endorphins going and thus put you on a natural high, which could lead to an increased level of inspiration and intuition. After you finish, it might be a good idea to sit in a park, preferably near water, to allow yourself to come down. Meditate and take a close look at your inner state.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Romantic notions are fine today and tonight as long as you already have a collaborator. New meetings are likely to go decidedly awry, so it's better not to seek out a new love if single.

-- November 17, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night
with the tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked
her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide
by shooting your finger off? "

"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to
my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these
breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just
paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not
shooting myself in the mouth."

"So then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is
going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the
other ear before I pulled the trigger."

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Every vote counts. If you think your opinion is too small to be effective, just think about the bite of a mosquito. Romantic yearnings can be fulfilled this weekend if you remain confident.

-- November 18, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: If wishes were horses, beggars would ride, the old saying goes. But the first step in acquiring a horse, or anything, is recognizing the desire and need. Make concrete plans for the future.

-- November 19, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, and Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Craft solutions to financial problems. You can use your ingenuity to overcome negativity and set a firm foundation for the future. A fleeting opportunity won't be there tomorrow.

-- November 20, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

Blonde Cook Book

MONDAY:

It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel
food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs
separately. The neighbours were nice enough to
loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY:

Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe
said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress.
What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home
for supper.

WEDNESDAY:

A good day for rice. The recipe said wash
thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed
kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it
improved the rice any.

THURSDAY:

Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new
recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss
on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.
Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was
rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY:

I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put
all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must
have been something wrong with this recipe. When
I got back, everything was the same as when I
left.

SATURDAY:

Bob did the shopping today and brought home a
chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday
(oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to
ten.

SUNDAY:

Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve
roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly
I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in
the oven and set the controls for roast. It
still came out hamburger, much to my disappoint-
ment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY.

This has been a very exciting week. I am eager
for tomorrow tocome so I can try out a new recipe
on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I
would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Take the lead. Your refusal to let any obstacle bar your way is something that others admire. You will be respected for your stamina and resilience. Unflagging enthusiasm is a valuable commodity.

-- November 21, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You can easily pen an enormous list of things for which you are grateful. You will never be listless or dull if you keep an accounting of all the good people, things, and experiences in your life.

-- November 22, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, and Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

Dos and Don'ts: Scorpio
October 23 - November 22

November Forecast
Are you aware of the changes coming?

You radiate sex like a star radiates light, and there's never a shortage of potential partners who are drawn into your aura. Yet there is a part of you that desperately needs sufficient alone time – first of all to get away from those demanding attention, and secondly to get your thoughts together and come to terms with a number of matters. It is said that Scorpios can be either the greatest of sinners or the greatest of saints – sinners in that they enjoy the pleasures of this world a bit too much, and saints in that they tend to be intuitive often to the point of being a true mystic.

It's not always easy for you to combine these two apparently disparate sides of yourself, but somehow you manage to come to terms with them. This makes you an especially intriguing companion – the "mystery" man or woman who attracts interest while revealing very little of your true nature. Not everybody you meet will understand you – but they'll almost certainly remember you always.

WHEN MEETING NEW PEOPLE:

DO: Listen, but be careful not to gaze too intently at the speaker. Respond once in a while, instead of being the strong, silent type. Even if you don't have much to say, comment occasionally. This will set those around you at ease.

DON'T: Express your opinions too forcefully. If the subject is controversial, keep your most passionate ideas to yourself. As you know people better, you can be more outspoken. But if you want to make new friends, tone it down at first.

WHEN DATING:

DO: Look your best in whatever style you're most comfortable. Don't try to look sexy. You radiate that quality anyway, and if you're on a first, second, or even third date, you don't want to be overwhelming.

DON'T: Force your date to bear the entire burden of the conversation. It's great to be a good listener, but if you don't speak up occasionally, your date could feel like being with you is too much work.

IN FASHION:

DO: You prefer dark colors, and they probably suit you. However, don't always do the Johnny Cash thing and wear nothing but black. Accessorize with color, and jewelry if you like it. Otherwise, you'll appear too intimidating.

DON'T: Forget about what you're going to wear until the day of the event. Plan in advance. Otherwise, you might find that all your appropriate clothes are in the wash.

WHEN STARTING A NEW WORKOUT PROGRAM:

DO: Join a gym and find a personal trainer. For you, exercise is a chore, not an invigorating pastime. It's more fun, however, if you work with someone whose enthusiasm is catching.

DON'T: Offset the benefits of your workout by eating too much. Ask your trainer if he or she can recommend a dietary regimen that will satisfy your hunger while promoting your fitness goals.

WHEN CLIMBING THE CAREER LADDER:

DO: Emphasize your perseverance, and skill with money. You may not enjoy business parties, but you can cope. Just be polite, and speak from time to time.

DON'T: Spend too much time working. If a fortune is at stake, you might be tempted to work overtime to get things done, but even you have your limits. Always make sure you get enough sleep.

WHEN DEALING WITH A NASTY NEIGHBOR:

DO: Make the most of your intensity. Stare her right in the eye, and allow her to scream and yell until she's too tired to say any more. Then say, "Is that all?" She just might turn tail and run back in the house!

DON'T: Say anything that could be construed as a threat. Your intensity is enough to throw her off guard. Then, quietly, if you can, correct whatever problem she has. Believe me, she won't know what to make of it at all!

WHEN SHOPPING:

DO: Be sure you buy whatever it is you need. Go for quality. You tend to pinch pennies, but if you need something, buy it. If you don't, you'll just have to come back to the store.

DON'T: Get bored and go home before you finish what you came for.

WHEN DOING HOUSEHOLD CHORES:

DO: Get some help and make a party of it. Usually, you don't mind being alone, but housework can be so boring that you may need some company to ensure that you get it done.

DON'T: Start having so much fun you forget what you're supposed to be doing.

WHEN COOKING:

DO: Try to find some better food than what you can pick up at fast food joints. You need to take care of your health, perhaps more so than others. Find a low-fat cookbook and use it.

DON'T: Fall back into your old patterns.

WHEN DRIVING ON THE FREEWAY:

DO: Stay alert. Don't go off into a fugue and sink into your own thoughts. No matter how empty the highway, it's still safety first. Try playing lots of loud music.

DON'T: Take out your frustrations on the road.

WHEN IN LOVE:

DO: Show your feelings profusely. Bottling them up won't do you or your beloved any good. Be affectionate.

DON'T: Share your frustrations with your beloved. If you don't, your mate will think you're upset with him, or her. Don't create more insecurity than your dear one already has. Be more open.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Success is never the final word. Everyone must keep on striving through the occasional dips and then climb up the peaks again. You may feel invincible, but it is time to tread cautiously.

-- November 23, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Procrastination can be a good thing. Put off making rude remarks and wait before making an important decision. Things look much worse than they really are under today's stars.

-- November 24, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

A New York judge is presiding over the divorce proceedings
of a Jewish couple. When the final papers have been signed
and the divorce is complete the woman thanks the judge and
says "Now I have to arrange for a GHET".

The judge inquires what she means by a Ghet. So, the woman
explains that a Ghet is a religious ceremony required under
the Jewish religion in order to receive a divorce recognized
by the Jewish faith.

The judge says, "You mean a religious ceremony like a
Bris?" (Circumcision)

She replies. "Yes, very similar, only in this case you get
rid of the entire prick!"

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There is world enough and time. Be firm about your commitments even if others shy away from a promise. A loved one is merely biding his or her time this week but will prove honorable.

-- November 25, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, and Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't sell yourself short. You may be chasing after rainbows and ignore a very profitable deal that is already waiting on the table. You can convince anyone of almost anything today.

-- November 26, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, and Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A relationship isn't a chain gang, so you need not act like Cool Hand Luke. Don't take a passing flirtation too seriously as this isn't the time to make a break for it. Stick to fun and games.

-- November 27, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, and Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Keep one foot firmly rooted in tradition while testing new technologies and the latest developments. Somehow you can find the path that uses the best of both the old and the new.

-- November 28, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Slow down and take your time. Don't jump in and make changes to a financial arrangement. Rushing can cause inaccuracy and the resulting mistakes can leave you open to disapproval.

-- November 29, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: When someone exerts too much control, your natural instinct is to fight back. However, this is a time when you could make things worse. A minor dispute could spiral out of control.

-- November 30, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Contain your impulses where important relationships are concerned. Misunderstandings could occur if you push the wrong buttons. Put tempting flirtations in the proper perspective.

-- December 1, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Time is the foe that defeats most schemes. If you are prepared to latch onto opportunities when they present themselves, time can be your friend. Don't let new friends upset plans this week.

-- December 2, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, and Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler: Make me.

5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still wet on the carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."

12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

13. Australian Cattle Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

The Cat's Answer:

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:

"How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You're the apple of someone's eye, but don't let this go to your head as it might be a quickly passing phase. On the other hand you may get a nudge in the right direction by an admirer.

-- December 3, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, and Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You need not be suspicious of the new and different. In the end you will find that you can rely on someone who initially seems wildly out of control. Embrace the changes in the air.

-- December 4, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Tread carefully. You might be eager to put your money where your mouth is, but there may be strings attached. Errors made now could cause upsets in the very near future.

-- December 5, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

Attorney: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

Witness: I forget.

Attorney: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something you forgot?

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Putting pressure on others won't pay off. Wait for a better day to reach for the brass ring; frustrations could shadow anything you start today. Postpone making an investment.

-- December 6, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, and Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Time is money. It is good to be cooperative, but heavy demands on your time could put you at a disadvantage. Sometimes you just must say no. Don't squander your savings to prove a point.

-- December 7, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, and Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Help a friend. A certain companion is not very selective when dealing with the opposite sex. This could be a good evening to sit down for a frank discussion and offer helpful advice.

-- December 8, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, and Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There is no such word as 'impossible' in your dictionary. You can make your fondest dreams come true this week through sheer luck or the generosity of others. Grab every opportunity.

-- December 9, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, and Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

All work and no play is not a good idea

For you, silent Scorpio, 2008 points the way towards career and financial success. New Year's Day finds your sign surrounded by benefic influences affecting your job.

Venus, planet of money, will be in Sagittarius, passing through your money sector; the Sun, Mercury and Jupiter will all be conjunct in Capricorn, in your house of communication.

And with persistent Saturn in Virgo in your goal sector, you aren't likely to stop pushing yourself until you've reached at least a few of your goals - and possibly not even then.

It's important, however, that you channel almost as much effort into your personal life as well. No matter how successful you are, what good is it if there's no one around to share it with you? Make the effort to stay in touch.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Hit the bull's-eye. Rather than attempting to outwit the market or your opponents, seek out profitable trends. You will have the stamina and the luck necessary to reach whatever you aim for.

-- December 10, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, and Pablo Picasso.

[teapeebubbles]

All work and no play is not a good idea

For you, silent Scorpio, 2008 points the way towards career and financial success. New Year's Day finds your sign surrounded by benefic influences affecting your job. Venus, planet of money, will be in Sagittarius, passing through your money sector; the Sun, Mercury and Jupiter will all be conjunct in Capricorn, in your house of communication. And with persistent Saturn in Virgo in your goal sector, you aren't likely to stop pushing yourself until you've reached at least a few of your goals - and possibly not even then. It's important, however, that you channel almost as much effort into your personal life as well. No matter how successful you are, what good is it if there's no one around to share it with you? Make the effort to stay in touch.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Have faith that the universe will reward your efforts. Rub the lamp and the genie might grant your wishes. Spend extra money to obtain your heart's desire and you will be glad you did.

-- December 11, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, and Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

All work and no play is not a good idea

For you, silent Scorpio, 2008 points the way towards career and financial success. New Year's Day finds your sign surrounded by benefic influences affecting your job. Venus, planet of money, will be in Sagittarius, passing through your money sector; the Sun, Mercury and Jupiter will all be conjunct in Capricorn, in your house of communication. And with persistent Saturn in Virgo in your goal sector, you aren't likely to stop pushing yourself until you've reached at least a few of your goals - and possibly not even then. It's important, however, that you channel almost as much effort into your personal life as well. No matter how successful you are, what good is it if there's no one around to share it with you? Make the effort to stay in touch.

[teapeebubbles]

What goals do you have for 2008? You might think that it’s a bit early to start making New Year’s resolutions, but if there is ever a time to jump the gun with this tradition, it’s now. The year 2008 is a year of transformation and will be a hectic and tumultuous year. Those who are prepared for economic and political shakeups should be able to continue with their lifestyles, though even they may hit a few bumps in the road.

Global economic upheaval might cause larger personal expenses, and investments might not be as profitable as you had planned. Political tension worldwide could create a troubling atmosphere, and you might find yourself unusually irritable. Yet clever, insightful people who can sense the needs of a changing society will grow stronger by adapting and staying flexible. They might even find themselves suddenly wealthy. This year will NOT be a year to rationalize or to ignore the admonishments of economist. Very often we go through life wearing blinders like a horse, but those who take off those blinders and prepare for a rocky road can thrive in 2008.

First resolution:
Get your own life in order — NOW. Whatever is uncertain, firm it up. Pay off as many debts as you can, and avoid running up any new ones. Start setting aside a little nest egg for yourself, and clear up any tension there may be between you and friends or family members to improve the mood.

Second resolution:
Don’t depend on anyone but yourself to solve your problems. By taking matters into your own hands, you will be able to enact change in your life and in the lives of those close to you — if you want something done right, do it yourself! If you’re dissatisfied with your life, work to change it, perhaps by joining one of the grassroots movements that have been popping up like mushrooms all over the world.

Third resolution:
Get involved. What cause appeals to you the most? Is it world peace, health and fitness for all, sustainable energy, or perhaps the rights of the weak, such as children and animals? Doing good for others will give you inspiration in other areas of your life, and overcoming obstacles will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment. Now is not the time to back down from a challenge — you could surprise yourself with how successfully you dealt with a difficult situation.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Reality rears its sensible head. You could feel somewhat competitive; maybe you dream of a bigger office or more expensive car to prove your status. A loved one may prefer a name brand.

-- December 12, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, and Johnny Carson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Put away your pointy ears. Mr. Spock never understood human forays into whimsical fantasy. Logic won't help you deal with delightful flights of fancy.

-- December 13, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Watch your step in social situations. Pre-holiday celebrations might not be as much fun as anticipated. A message that is meant to express love and affection might boomerang into misunderstanding.

-- December 14, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, and Carl Sagan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Instant gratification may not be possible. You can't always get what you desire. Be resourceful; you can still have plenty of fun without overspending or overstepping the bounds of propriety.

-- December 15, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, and Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: When you are torn two ways it is a good idea to stop and reconsider. Your ambivalence might be centered on a large expenditure. Don't let indecision spoil a friendship this week.

-- December 16, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Raise your self-image and enhance your self-esteem. This is a good time for social networking and receiving some positive feedback. Dazzle someone by being cheerful rather than forceful.

-- December 17, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Go hear it on the grapevine. Unusual new companions might offer enlightenment. An unexpected brainstorm can win you Brownie points at work, so don't be afraid to speak up.

-- December 18, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, and Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You might need deep pockets. Although someone is willing to meet you more than halfway, you could be expected to pay more than you expected to achieve this cooperation.

-- December 19, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, and Jodie Foster.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Ride passions to the finish line. There may be a plethora of loose ends to snip before the day is done, but you are the person with the skills to do it. When work is done enjoy intimate pleasures.

-- December 20, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, and Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Make things clear. You can't expect people to respect boundaries if they don't know where they are. Secret resentment can poison the atmosphere. Hold off on major purchases for another day.

-- December 21, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, and Walter Cronkite.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Good fortune dogs your steps. Someone is willing to help you with a financial matter and all you need to do is ask. This is a good day to make a charitable donation or share your bounty.

-- December 22, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Choose when to fly your kite. Relationships will remain buoyant if you pay attention to the direction the wind is blowing. Carry extra spending money for little things this week.

-- December 23, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, and Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Walk away from a challenge and ignore a line drawn in the sand. You don't need to outdo the Joneses to hold a memorable family event. Use peaceful means to settle a dispute.

-- December 24, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, and Johnny Carson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: It isn't necessary to splurge to have fun. One piece of pie should be enough. Encourage visitors to take a walk, take a drive or play games rather than being mere spectators on the sidelines.

-- December 25, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, and Carl Sagan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Never bet anything you can't afford to lose. The post-holiday sales might beckon, but there is a tendency to overstock or overdo on many levels. Too much exercise can strain unused muscles.

-- December 26, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Hook up with someone who has street credentials. If you are interested in a certain career or business, there is no better source than the horse's mouth. Mix business with pleasures.

-- December 27, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The green-eyed monster might be lurking near your door. This is not a good time to flirt carelessly or press your luck romantically. Don't gamble with your money or your heart.

-- December 28, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, and Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Good taste has left the building. You might want to emulate a friend by purchasing an extravagant item while it is on sale, but what suits someone else won't necessarily suit you.

-- December 29, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Somewhere out there someone is thinking of you this week. Your New Year's resolutions should revolve around making others proud of your accomplishments. Give old friends a call.

-- December 30, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Remember; a kiss is just a kiss. Don't get bent out of shape by a New Year's Eve smooch or read too much meaning into a mild difference of opinion. Resolve to improve your mind.

-- December 31, 2007

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Final results count. Background and circumstances may influence who you are, but you are responsible for that which you become. Don't become defensive over matters you cannot control.

-- January 1, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Leave your piggy bank at home on the shelf. A seemingly attractive project or plan presented now could have hidden flaws. Be content with what you have.

-- January 2, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Separate desire from need. Analyze the intense passions that have gripped you in the past few days. Rather than trying to become a Midas, focus on making relationships better.

-- January 3, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, and Pablo Picasso.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Shift happens. One day everyone seems to oppose you and the next day you have support for everything you believe in. Clear the air with a loved one and find time for romantic moments.

-- January 4, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Count your cash and polish the piggy bank. Frugal attitudes seem to prevail so seek entertainment close to home. The grass isn't really any greener on the other side of the fence.

-- January 5, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, and Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Concentrate on the heart, not the head. You are prone to rooting out facts like a pig snuffling through the woods for truffles. Spend more time on affectionate companionship during the week ahead.

-- January 6, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, and Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

Did you hear about the Irish guy who thought that
Alcoholics Anonymous meant drinking under an assumed
name?

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Navigate the path of love by using an unerring internal compass. Ignore a business transaction or investment that looks too good to be true. A thing of real value is to be found right on your own doorstep.

-- January 7, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You can easily balance a vision of a better future with the lessons of the past. Make earthshaking decisions or ask for a commitment from a special someone. Your efforts to win affection win applause.

-- January 8, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Turn off the spigot of impractical spending. At the same time, do not deny your self those little niceties that make life more pleasant. Your best bosom buddies might be right in your own household.

-- January 9, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Hold a very quiet revolution. Stand on your own two feet. Advocate for yourself by learning everything necessary. Join forces with others who share your visions for the future and hold similar values.

-- January 10, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Enjoy simple, elegant pleasures. A classic film will be more satisfying than the latest release if you are staying in for the night. Pamper a significant other with soft lights and a soothing atmosphere.

-- January 11, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, and Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Rest assured that kid gloves are the answer. Maintain a gentle demeanor to win a handhold on the ladder of success. An art gallery or concert might invite discussions that light amorous fires.

-- January 12, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, and Weird Al Yankovic

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Play for keeps. It is a good week to begin a new exercise program. Your creative side may emerge with a little encouragement, so pursue activities that give you a chance to refine your skills or test your talents.

-- January 13, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, and Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Wait it out. A temporarily frustrating situation such as a broken phone or an erroneous entry in the bankbook could put you between a rock and hard place. Hold off on making new contacts.

-- January 14, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, and Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Once you have what you need, be happy with it. It could be that greed and envy are the two biggest cause of discontent. Be a realist and understand that other people aren't really that much better off.

-- January 15, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, and Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Keep it under your hat. A heated discussion over confidential financial information may land someone in the doghouse. Remain above reproach and express appreciation to others for their efforts.

-- January 16, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Worries can nibble away at your confidence like a mouse with a hunk of cheddar. Seek encouragement or a sounding board within your home or family circle. Shared fears are dissipated easily.

-- January 17, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You may feel it is your destiny to wield power. Your passions leave others bobbing behind in your wake like flotsam on the waves. A fleeting flirtation could become an unavoidable obsession.

-- January 18, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Easy come, easy go. Money may flow like water, but it won't seem like a dire drain on resources when a smile appears on a loved one's face. Tighten the financial belt and economize tomorrow.

-- January 19, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, and Katey Sagal.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You aren't interested in half measures. When your attention is riveted on someone or somethin,g you go at it full throttle. You could have an opportunity to make money or make beautiful music.

-- January 20, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You may be able to get your way through sheer audacity. Your excellent judgment may help you increase the bank balance. Being financially sound makes others respect you and look to you for leadership.

-- January 21, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Something better is sure to turn up. If you have been discouraged about your career, your bills or just life in general, you will start to see a trend in the other direction. Remain optimistic about finances.

-- January 22, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Sign on the dotted line. Be confident that an agreement will be fulfilled or that the future will provide the funds needed to honor a promise. You radiate animal magnetism and could have a wild time.

-- January 23, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Go get 'em, cowboy! No 'discouraging word' will be heard when riding the range searching for a romantic hookup. Use wisdom with purchases, as you may become obsessed by a desire for something expensive.

-- January 24, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

A legal question: If you're into S&M and you get beat
up at work, is that considered assault or sexual
harassment?

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Stick to the status quo and avoid a temptation to indulge a fancy. Loved ones could create fleeting misunderstandings and it is up to you to overlook them. Allow significant others some extra space.

-- January 25, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't declare the winner until all the votes have been counted. Social pressures could nudge you to make a snap decision, but it is best to evade the issue. Hold off on major transactions or public appearances.

-- January 26, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There is no reason to feel like the black sheep. You may be criticized for the friends you keep or experience a temporary roadblock with key objectives. Relationships improve later this week.

-- January 27, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Acknowledge your unique attractiveness. Your pleasantly playful antics will make someone sit up and take notice. This is a fabulous day to meet new friends or to network for valuable connections.

-- January 28, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Let the power of attraction work in your favor. People may approach you with ideas that could revolutionize your outlook. Get a loved one to compete in a game or sport to stir up the flames of desire.

-- January 29, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: All that glitters isn't gold. Although you might make a favorable impression on new acquaintances in the business world, or have a wonderful time with a certain someone, avoid investments and major purchases.

-- January 30, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, and Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

The Old Man and the Dog
By Catherine Moore


"Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!" My father yelled at me.
"Can't you do anything right?"

Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man
in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat
as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle.

"I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving." My voice
was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.

Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in
front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark,
heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant
thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil.

What could I do about him?

Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed being
outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of
nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed
often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to
his prowess.

The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy
log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone,
straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about
his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger
man.

Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An
ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to
keep blood and oxygen flowing. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an
operating room. He was lucky; he survived.

But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately
refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were
turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then
finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We
hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a
week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation.
It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became
frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We
began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and
explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments
for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's
troubled mind. But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to
be done and it was up to me to do it.

The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of
the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem
to each of the sympathetic voices that answered. In vain. Just when I was
giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, "I just read something
that might help you! Let me go get the article." I listened as she read. The
article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the
patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes
had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a
questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of
disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each
contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black
dogs, spotted dogs, all jumping up, trying to reach me. I studied each one
but
rejected one after the other for various reasons; too big, too small, too
much hair. As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner
struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a
pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of
the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His
hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught
and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?" The officer looked, then
shook his head in puzzlement.

"He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We
brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was
two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow." He gestured
helplessly.

As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. "You mean you're going
to kill him?"

"Ma'am," he said gently, "that's our policy. We don't have room for every
unclaimed dog."

I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision.
"I'll take him," I said.

I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the
house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when
Dad shuffled onto the front porch. "Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I
said excitedly.

Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had wanted a dog I
would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than
that bag of bones. Keep it. I don't want it." Dad waved his arms scornfully
and turned back toward the house.

Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded
into my temples.

"You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!" Dad ignored me. "Did
you hear me, Dad?" I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands
clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.

We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer
pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of
him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.

Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion
replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was
on his knees hugging the animal.

It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the
pointer
Cheyenne. Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long
hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks
of streams, fishing for trout. They even started to attend Sunday
services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his
feet.

Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's
bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then late one night
I was startled to feel Cheyenne's cold nose burrowing through our bed
covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put
on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face
serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying
dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept
on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently
thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of
mind.

The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like
the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved
for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had
made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to
both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned
to Hebrews 13:2. "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers."
"I've often thanked God for sending that angel," he said.

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen
before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article...
Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. . .his calm
acceptance and complete devotion to my father. . .and the proximity of their
deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers
after all.

Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard,
love truly and forgive quickly.
Live While You Are Alive.
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
Forgive now those who have made you cry.
You might not get a second time.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Sidestep the bias of your friends. Someone close may attempt to draw you into a grudge match or influence your thinking. Don't allow petty grumbling to affect your prospects or taint your judgment.

-- January 31, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, and Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Wear your heart on your sleeve. A fervent request is sure to get a positive answer. A forthright attitude will force issues out into the open and clear the air. Be sincere and honest for the best success.

-- February 1, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, and Katey Sagal.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Amorous activities receive a green light. Business matters proceed peacefully and profitably late in the day -- if you take advantage of wise counsel. At this fast pace, much can be accomplished.

-- February 2, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Continue in the direction of your choosing. Play a heroic part at home and you will find there are adoring fans ready to follow your lead. This is a good week to concentrate on home and family.

-- February 3, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Take your fair share. Others might camouflage their true purpose behind a veneer of social niceties. Don't be bashful about insisting on your just rewards or expecting reciprocity in a transaction.

-- February 4, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Check the mailbox, voicemail, and the e-mail. News that will change your attitude may arrive just in the nick of time. If you are industrious and diligent, you will be able to obtain your goals.

-- February 5, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't cling to old habits. Dwelling on the past or repeating unsuccessful actions is counterproductive. Be a little more self-sufficient; remember you can't solve problems by throwing money at them.

-- February 6, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, and Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Ignore a passing fancy. It is better to want something you don't have than to have something you don't want. You can make an error with your checkbook today, so avoid financial promises.

-- February 7, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be in the know. Rather than looking for new investments, start taking better care of funds already within your control. Partners might not be impressed or amused by your suggestions.

-- February 8, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Find activities that will burn off excess energy. Matters to do with home and family loom large on your priority list. You may wish to make a permanent improvement or start a new family tradition.

-- February 9, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, and Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Stir up a batch of family fun. During the week to come, your best results will come through family members or home-based projects. You can show off your lovely possessions without causing offense.

-- February 10, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Never lose hope. An inspiring conversation with an old friend might put things back into proper perspective. You might not be realistic about the condition of your piggy bank under these stars.

-- February 11, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, and Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your charming overtures will not be ignored. What starts out as a business relationship could end up as a great and lasting friendship. Enthusiasm is the key to making a great impression on the boss.

-- February 12, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, and Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't grasp for straws. Any enticing offer made today might seem better on the surface than it is in reality. If you ignore moral ideals you may take a loss or not be able to justify your actions in the future.

-- February 13, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, and Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Get away from it all. Whisper amorous words in a special someone's ears in the privacy of a quiet corner. Love sessions might hit the big time on this day for lovers, as mutual passions are set aflame.

-- February 14, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Take news with a grain of salt. The opinions stated may not be based on hard-and-true facts. Refuse to buy on time or sign contracts, as there could be hidden conditions in the fine print.

-- February 15, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, and Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You may be a big fish in a small pond. Because you look like a good catch, others may vie for your attention. Don't let this go to your head because once the novelty has worn off you will be thrown back.

-- February 16, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, and Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Negotiate from a position of strength in the week to come. You may only have one or two clear goals, but these can be achieved. A lack of clear objectives may be the only stumbling block to success.

-- February 17, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, and Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You expect to work diligently to attain your deepest desires. Don't make things harder than they already are by limiting your options. A special someone intuitively knows how to defuse a hostile situation.

-- February 18, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, and Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Quality is better than quantity. There is no reason to buy something inexpensive if it won't give adequate service. It is much better to do one job thoroughly than many tasks haphazardly.

-- February 19, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You've got a friend. Someone close probably has the answer to your predicament or is willing to lend a hand. You will find that groups of like-minded individuals can boost your creativity.

-- February 20, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Get tough with yourself. Use some spit and polish on your appearance so that others won't find fault with you in public. A new romance could hit a slight snag under these stars so put social activities on hold.

-- February 21, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Amorous adventures beckon. A significant other is anxious for close encounters of the romantic kind. Steer clear of forming a new attachment this weekend, as there could be unpleasant complications.

-- February 22, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, and Walter Cronkite.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Standards that are too high often result in disappointment. People may be overly strict about schedules or timetables today. You may be wise to synchronize watches before you set up a meeting or appointment.

-- February 23, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, and Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Maintain hope. Everything that goes up must come down, except this week your 'down' feeling may be the springboard for a definite 'up' experience. Educate yourself in areas where you show a weakness.

-- February 24, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Pay it forward. There may an appeal for a charitable donation or a request to help a friend or neighbor in temporary distress. You are in a position to share your abundance and make a positive difference.

-- February 25, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, and Mathew McConaughey.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Misunderstandings could occur through miscommunication. Focus on being diplomatic and tolerant. A small difference of opinion may lead to long-term enmity, so avoid squabbles over minor issues.

-- February 26, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, and Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your phone skills serve you well. Your boundless enthusiasm and cheerful outlook may cause people to elect you as a mediator or umpire. Become an avid student of human nature and learn everything you can.

-- February 27, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, and Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be discreet. Demonstrations of affectionate regard may make your heart race a bit faster. Key contacts might frown on an inappropriate office romance that blossoms now but a little flirtation is sweet.

-- February 28, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, and Johnny Carson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You may be wired for wildness. An abundance of input from others, including TV and other media, could open new interests. Friends and buddies will give good advice and offer a safety net.

-- February 29, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, and Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Parade down the runway. You might be somewhat of a show off around family and close friends. Use your home as a center for social gatherings and explore romantic delights later this evening.

-- March 1, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, and Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The only pressure you are under is of your own making. You can't win the race if you busy worrying about the competition. Hook up with a calm, serene person who will make you forget about problems.

-- March 5, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Too much of a good thing could have consequences. You may feel the need to indulge your competitive nature, but moderation is the key. A certain someone will understand if you make a confession.

-- March 6, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: All is not as it seems. Although an invitation may seem mundane, it could hold some surprises beneath the surface. Look twice before moving on and you'll notice a startling change that will make your day a happy one.

-- March 7, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: It is time to focus on your future. Think about what matters most and act upon it. This is no time to be idle but an opportunity for moving towards specific goals. Use creative ingenuity to entertain yourself.

-- March 8, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, and Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Ignore a cold shoulder. Those who treat you with hostility do so out of weakness or fear of intimacy. Remain patient and by the end of the week a somewhat trying social situation will warm up greatly.

-- March 9, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You can hit the target and make a bull's-eye if you concentrate. Your glorious ambition is an almost palpable entity. Keep in touch with friends as they can keep you on track with earthly pleasures.

-- March 10, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, and Will Rogers.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Change for the better. You might get a surprise when you check your wallet or a bill. A casual display of affection from a close friend or sibling can quickly put you in a much brighter frame of mind.

-- March 11, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, and Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't revive bad habits. Valuable ideas or inspirations that come to your notice should be probed while they are fresh in your mind. Follow your intuitions to make a phone call at the most opportune time.

-- March 12, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Passions push you to perform at the peak of perfection. You are in step with the major trends and someone might be a wee bit jealous of your admirable accomplishments. In love, the sky is the limit.

-- March 13, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, and Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Speak softly and carry a big stick. Like the well-known president who popularized this phrase, you can make your wants and needs known in a congenial way. Smooth out the rough edges with diplomacy.

-- March 14, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Sit on your hands. Refrain from the urge to meddle and don't dwell on past misfortunes. Folks who wheedle their way into your affections now might have an ulterior motive, but only time will tell.

-- March 15, 2008
Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Contain an obsessive nature. You could put too much energy into something of doubtful value this week. A reservoir can generate electricity as long as it's contained, but can wipe out everything downstream if a dam's floodgates are opened.

-- March 16, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: May the road rise up to meet you. Optimism and a positive attitude will keep you sailing high above the crowd. Be sure you don't misinterpret the boss' instructions or overlook a necessary task.

-- March 17, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, and Mathew McConaughey.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Mysteries intrigue you. If you are overly involved in delving into the secrets that perplex you, there is a chance that you will offend someone who is counting on you to do something else. Don't get sidetracked.

-- March 18, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, and Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Switch gears. You may meet more resistance than expected if you try to manipulate people or situations in a predetermined direction. Social affairs that have no ulterior motives will flourish.

-- March 19, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, and Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Anything worth having is worth waiting for. You may be torn between achieving your ambitions and doing what is expected of you. Measure your success by the smile on a loved one's face.

-- March 20, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, and Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You must focus on the job at hand before you can notice the imperfections. Adjust to a change of pace with good grace, but do not finalize a business transaction. Let things simmer over the weekend.

-- March 21, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You always want most what you can't have. Your cravings are easily set into motion when desires are frustrated. Your best bet is to concentrate on family outings and community events this weekend.

-- March 22, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Take a large bite out of a marshmallow chick. A return to childhood pleasures, sensations, and activities might revive your energies. Family matters take precedence but avoid squabbles late in the week.

-- March 23, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, and Carl Sagan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Relax and savor paradise. A blissful, inspiring mood is in the air that could have you floating on cloud nine. A passing fancy for a change in the home or family could have merit and is worth pursuing.

-- March 24, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, and Carl Sagan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Perfect your work. You may be in the mood to correct errors or be amenable to having an expert assessment of your performance. A romantic turn on might not turn out quite as planned this evening.

-- April 7, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, and Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Listen with both ears. You can gain crucial insight into proven strategies that will benefit your business, career or reputation. Learn everything possible about your goals in order to reach them.

-- April 8, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, and Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You might like to think you are be tough as nails, but even the strongest nails bend. Compassion is necessary in certain business situations. Take into consideration the special needs of others today.

-- April 9, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Excitement and enthusiasm is contagious. You might get carried away by an idea or offer, but should hold off on making any promises. If anyone wants a quick answer, you will be wise to disappoint them.

-- April 10, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A message of love is eternal - even though the medium may change. In the age of computers you might pen a poetic email instead of sending a letter. Either way, once sent, the communication can be saved and savored.

-- April 11, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, and Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Love is not a spectator sport. It is time to be a willing participant who is creative about pleasing your romantic partner. You and your special someone need a break from the usual faces and places.

-- April 12, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, and Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Keep the agenda simple. Plan to spend quality time with those you care about the most. If elected leader this week, do not be afraid to share your ideas.

-- April 13, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, and Johnny Carson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: He who hesitates is lost. Have no fear about launching a new venture or in regards to entering into agreements or partnerships. A little trust in your colleagues will yield solid benefits in the immediate future.

-- April 14, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, and Pablo Picasso.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Dress to impress. A good appearance could be the difference that brings you success in a business matter that could otherwise be elusive. Pull out all the stops and dazzle your colleagues with your talents.

-- April 15, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, and Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Share and share alike. Do not be stingy. Share with the most intimate members of your inner circle. Your deeds will be appreciated and set the foundation for future success and enduring friendship.

-- April 16, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, and Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Soar like a hawk. You might feel like the proverbial free spirit and be inspired by a need to explore the wild side. Romantic desires and financial entanglements will be resolved pleasantly and with ease.

-- April 17, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, and Katey Sagal.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: In romantic situations, you should be a friend rather than a detective. Unfounded suspicions could mar an otherwise pleasant evening. Have a little faith in that special someone and you'll be pleasantly surprised.

-- April 18, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, and Jodie Foster.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't stray too far from a loved one, no matter how vast the distance between you. Stay connected with loved ones even if previous obligations keep you away. Pet ambitions keep you on your toes.

-- April 19, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The full moon in your sign presages a month ahead in which the focus is on partnerships and verbal exchanges. You may be tempted to take a financial risk this week or to be extravagant with your cash.

-- April 20, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. Fascinating hobbies or interests can recharge your cosmic batteries. Take time out from your busy schedule to try something unique, exotic or unusual.

-- April 21, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: He who speaks first loses. A famous quotation says that the heart of a fool is guided by his mouth while the mouth of a wise man is guided by his heart. Think carefully before making a promise.

-- April 22, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Waste not, want not. You may do things in a big way just to impress someone or in to cash in on a discount. Warning: If you buy groceries in bulk, some items could spoil before you can use them.

-- April 23, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You possess steely determination that hides a soft heart. You are challenged when called upon to offer assistance to the underdog. Don't forget that you merit just as much sympathy and respect as anyone.

-- April 24, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Take a fresh look at the permanent fixtures in your life. Certain inadequacies or errors have been pointed out recently and now you have the time and the inclination to fix them. Make executive decisions.

-- April 25, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, and Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't be a wallflower. Get your fair share of a lucrative deal by being at the head of the line when the tickets are handed out. Steamy encounters of the intimate kind could be on tonight's agenda.

-- April 26, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Too much of a good thing is just that. Pass up invitations to community events and concentrate on important projects while energy levels are high. Plan your upcoming expenses for the week ahead.

-- April 27, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Try to maintain a sharp image of a fuzzy concept. You shouldn't give up on an ongoing project just because someone in authority is vague or wishy-washy about the final details. Keep on plugging away.

-- April 28, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Still waters run deep. A certain someone in your life could have hidden depths and this may be an auspicious time to plumb them. Don't ignore opportunities that are tapping at your chamber door.

-- April 29, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't forget that there is more to life than material things. A special someone might remain unnoticed unless you make an effort to grow closer. Love play may hit some heights in the next two days.

-- April 30, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Mix business with pleasure. Romantic outings might be kept within some very strict confines due to the presence of a business associate. Ambassadorial diplomacy may be required in social settings.

-- May 1, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Overlook the obvious. You are overly concerned with what's wrong with something when what's right with it should be on your mind. Don't let petty mistakes or errors take up too much of your time.

-- May 2, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, and Will Rogers.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Let your heart rule your head. Some things elude rational thought and can't be discussed in terms of black and white. New friends can stimulate your thinking processes and widen your horizons.

-- May 3, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, and Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. If you consider someone a thorn in your side now, be aware that you may be thankful for their prodding later in the week. Relationships will blossom.

-- May 4, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, and Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Develop trust. Today's new moon draws attention to crucial relationships and for the next month you might be focused on making other people feel secure. Your reliability could be questioned.

-- May 5, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, and Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Push some buttons but don't push your luck. You may be building for a big push, but today isn't the time to try to charm the boss or wow an audience. Family matters might interfere with your plans.

-- May 6, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Where there's smoke, there's fire. A lingering desire or whim can be set aflame and turn into a materially beneficial project. A new friendship can give you the inspiration to do better than usual.

-- May 7, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Bet the bank. The ball on the roulette wheel might easily land on your number. Go ahead and take a chance with a new romance or a business deal. People are intrigued by your air of mystery and self-confidence.

-- May 8, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Grin and bear it. Stick to physical activities, sports and travel for the best results during this weekend. Anything that you begin today on a whim could hold unforeseen pitfalls and confuse a situation.

-- May 9, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Someone might want more attention than you are able to give at this time. Use your energy in a constructive manner and don't be drawn into the trap of promising something you cannot fulfill.

-- May 10, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, and Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Harness the power of your dreams. This week you may find the perfect opportunity to make your ambitions a reality. Direct your energies into productive activities rather than daydreaming.

-- May 11, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Throw out the grappling hook and connect with a star. Someone close to you in time or space might have his or her finger on the pulse of the future. Agree to whatever is offered, as promises will be honored.

-- May 12, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You don't need to be subtle. You may think an apology wasn't effective, but further investigation will prove that it has been accepted. This isn't a good time to trust your intuitions in public.

-- May 13, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, and Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Group efforts will be rewarding. Although too many bleeding hearts are likely to be evident in any group setting, the fact that you have come together for a purpose is encouraging. Be diplomatic.

-- May 14, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, and Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Bada bing, bada bling. You love owning the best, especially if it gives you a sense of power or caresses your naked feet. Wear attention-grabbing accessories and share sensuous moments with a loved one.

-- May 15, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, and Katey Sagal.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Do not limit yourself. Just because you are working diligently to achieve a pet goal and are chained to a routine does not mean you must deny yourself the possibility of future improvements or changes.

-- May 16, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, and Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Never go to sleep with an argument juxtaposed between you and a loved one. You will have ample opportunities to show your true colors and prove that you possess a sincere desire for peace.

-- May 17, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You must not allow dogma to override common sense. Altruistic ideals might not work well in the real world. Focus on making financial dreams true through hard work, not investments, this week.

-- May 18, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, and Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. In the same way you may have definite plans that involve someone else but today's Full Moon may make you aware of stubborn resistance.

-- May 19, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, and Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Remain steady as a rock. Something attractive might cause you endless aggravations if you follow the scent. A loved one might be out of sorts or inadvertently disrupt the even tenor of your day.

-- May 20, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Skepticism can cloud your judgment. You may be highly motivated to succeed, but this is not a good time to make a first move. You might not have enough confidence now but can build it up.

-- May 21, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, and Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Investigate possibilities. Although it is entirely possible that your fears or suspicions are unfounded, the only way you will be sure is to scrutinize the facts. Avoid signing contracts or agreements.

-- May 22, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, and Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Mental alertness could pay off. You may have the ability to take advantage of shifts in power. Think deeply and consider other perspectives. Appreciate loyalty and depth of feeling from a loved one.

-- May 23, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, and Katey Sagal.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The intensity of your passions may put you back in someone's good graces. Ingenious methods of handling money or possessions could be a hot topic of discussion but do not act on impulse.

-- May 24, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, and Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Pretend you are a lap dog. Someone may be willing to indulge in the petting and pampering you deserve. Rest while you can because the week ahead may make heavy demands upon your time and finances.

-- May 25, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: An existing romantic connection sizzles like a steak on the grill. Whisper sweet nothings to your very special someone this evening. An old flame might make an attempt to interfere with your festivities.

-- May 26, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Stay sharp and keep your mind clear. A romantic encounter could come your way if you are perceptive enough to realize it. It could be a good time to begin working on those projects at home.

-- May 27, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, and Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't fly away from reality on a whim. A flirtation may seem like an easy path to happiness, but may distract you from more pressing concerns. Keep your eye on the ball and don't miss deadlines.

-- May 28, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You only have one piece of the puzzle. You'd be wise to seek high ground for a better perspective on the entire scene. Avoid making major purchases or decisions.

-- May 29, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, and Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Adapt and overcome. Find out the mood of the crowd before demonstrating what you have to offer. The wrong approach could ruin your chances of success. Hold off on major buying decisions.

-- May 30, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You might talk the talk and walk the walk, but a recent romantic encounter may not be suitable for a long-term commitment. Someone you meet tonight may be looking for a quick fling or a conquest.

-- May 31, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Quack like a duck. When the rain falls it runs right off a duck's back. In the same way, if people are somewhat dreary and negative don't let it get under your skin. Midweek cosmic weather is better.

-- June 1, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, and Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Ambitions may be at a high level. Those engrossed in a crucial project or business interest can inadvertently leave loved ones out in the cold. Be sure to give all their fair share of time.

-- June 2, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, and Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Climb the highest mountains, but remember that sometimes it is lonely at the top. You are a winner if stamina and determination is needed but might be in conflict with certain groups of friends.

-- June 3, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You know more than you think you do. Once you kick-start certain desires it will be hard to slow down or lose momentum. Don't let a new obsession or job blind you to the needs of friends or loved ones.

-- June 4, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, and Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Earn success by being focused on career aspirations. It might seem that the enemies are battering down your door, but you securely hold the high ground. A little romance might be in the stars.

-- June 5, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, and Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Tempers could be frayed or simply worn thin. Certain people want to be known as authority figures and will go to great lengths to have their own way. Don't be lured into an argument or dispute.

-- June 6, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, and Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Stick close to trusted partners. You might feel like you are floating on cloud nine after an evening of bliss. However, a casual hookup you meet now could cause upsets or turmoil to a permanent part of your life.

-- June 7, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Family members and partners have your best interests at heart this week. Don't let the input of friends distract you. Ignore a whim to make drastic changes in your finances, as it may cause complications.

-- June 8, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You may be restless to try the new and different, so shift your gears. Surprises could be in store for you where a significant other is concerned. Singles may find brief encounters fascinating, but impermanent.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There is a spirit of cooperation in the air that makes joint efforts effortless. Correct misconceptions that have recently arisen and nip troubles in the bud. Ask for favors from on high.

-- June 10, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: It is difficult to get good value for your dollar under today's stars. The offer that seems to be good to be true is the one to avoid. Restrain any impulse to make changes with investments or banking.

-- June 11, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, and Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Both romantic and professional partnerships thrive under these celestial conditions. Count on others to provide just what you need to achieve goals. Mutual respect aids material success.

-- June 12, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A delightful aspect in the sky promises that you will be thrown into contact with the right people at the right time. Swim with the tides, not against them. For a perfect evening, love the one you're with.

-- June 13, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, and Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Score big and enhance your reputation where money or love is concerned. You are a powerhouse of sensuality and should plan on cozy intimate meetings with someone especially near and dear.

-- June 14, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, and Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A magnificent obsession might grab you by the ear this week and twist so hard that you ignore other valuable things in your life. Make sure you don't devote all your energy to something of dubious worth.

-- June 15, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, and Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: 'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth' doesn't mean as much in these days of cars, buses and planes. Accept anything given freely, but be skeptical and cautious about investments and cash outlays.

-- June 16, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Emotional turmoil and passion might seem exciting, but a steady diet of it will fray your nerves. You could be tempted to challenge the social order to achieve your ever-increasing ambitions.

-- June 17, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, and Jodie Foster.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The only feelings you own are your own. This full moon may bring a spate of emotional outbursts that will clear the air. You will be left with a clean slate on which you can draw your own conclusions.

-- June 18, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, and Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your desire for privacy at all costs can lead to contentious situations. You may feel threatened by someone's innocent interest in your personal affairs. Remain forthright, but don't make promises.

-- June 19, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, and Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Friends and family are more sensitive to slights than you realize. If you are immersed in a major obsession you may be wearing virtual blinders and remain unaware of trouble brewing elsewhere.

-- June 20, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, and Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your time will come. Enjoy this long summer evening with a tall glass of iced tea or other beverage of your choice and a favorite playmate. While appearing to do nothing, plan quietly for the future.

-- June 21, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, and Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Take steps to stay in step with others. Rather than spending money to keep up with the Joneses, spend time learning how to adapt to changing circumstances this week. Home and family need attention.

-- June 22, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, and Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be creative. Use your immense energy in constructive activities -- even if the powers that be refuse to give you a pat on the back. Back away from making major purchases, as you may overspend.

-- June 23, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, and Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You may wear numerous hats today. Don't be afraid to model some new ones; you may discover a new talent. Roll up your sleeves and tackle new ideas and responsibilities. Turn brainpower on high.

-- June 24, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, and Carl Sagan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Too much of a good thing can cause heartburn. Diets can be defeated if you don't exercise extra restraint under these stars. Fight off the urge to overindulge or to store away goodies for the future.

-- June 25, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, and Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Waste not, want not. Too much talk time on the telephone chatting with grapevine buddies could eat into valuable time that would be better spent on more productive necessary activities.

-- June 26, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Class always wins out. Maintain your dignity and never let others know what you are thinking. Point out ways that you contribute to the job so fellow workers won't resent an extended lunch break.

-- June 27, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, and Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Love might be a fertile garden. Plant some romantic ideas and sprinkle generously with kisses. Your social life will benefit from a distinct change of scene or by joining a friendly group.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Let it slide. You may find yourself in situations this week where a defensive stance seems justified. Your greatest success can be found by showing maturity and finding creative solutions to the problem.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Slow and steady always wins the race. Stick to your guns regarding work and relationships and do not undertake any new responsibilities. Adhere to the usual routine for the next several days.

-- June 30, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Go into the light. You may be in the dark about certain situations, but patience and researching the matter will allow you to come to a successful solution. A blossoming relationship could prove disappointing.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Love makes the world go round. Your appeal is at its zenith and it might be a good time to turn a casual relationship into something more serious. Don't waste your time with fair-weather friends.

-- July 3, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, and Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Love is on today's menu. Your sex appeal will draw the notice of an admirer and eventually could blossom into something much more. Avoid entering into any binding agreements or quick deals.

-- July 4, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Someone has to be the wallflower. You may want to find a special someone to spend time with, but now is not the time. Curl up with a good book and enjoy the day, rather than initiating new endeavors.

-- July 5, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Pursue physical activities with pals to promote peace and prosperity. Your idea of 'getting physical' might involve one-on-one wrestling this week. Don't be too hard on a friend who means well.

-- July 6, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, and Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: It takes money to make money. Make every penny count toward attaining your most precious ambitions. Don't fritter away the gains you have already obtained by trying to show off for friends.

-- July 7, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, and Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Live and let live. Mutual tolerance and consideration can breed mutual respect. Your buying choices may tend toward the tasteless, so hold off on major purchases and avoid overusing the credit card.

-- July 8, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Sometimes the lion lies down with the lamb. But the lamb is only safe when the lion isn't hungry. You must overcome your fear, or inertia, and use good judgment when choosing companions.

-- July 9, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Go far by staying near to home. Save time by consolidating errands and save money by comparison shopping online. A family member can provide an honest and objective appraisal of a situation.

-- July 10, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, and Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There are lots of fish in the sea. This may be a good time to troll for a new romantic partner, to find bait that will delight your favorite significant other or to just have a good time in a social setting.

-- July 11, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: An attractive friend might have more than mere friendship in mind. If you become hot and bothered, find a cool place in the shade where it is more comfortable smooch your favorite playmate.

-- July 12, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, and Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Shake your tambourine. You may enjoy a rock 'n' roll week filled with plenty of excitement and interesting entertainment that put a spring in your step. Put dynamic changes and resolutions into action.

-- July 13, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Make a necessary change. Some of the goals you once thought highly important could seem insignificant. Cast off outworn customs and ideas in the same way you would dispose of outgrown clothes.

-- July 14, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, and Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The grass always looks greener on the other side because you haven't looked at it closely or walked on it and crushed all the blades beneath your feet. Think twice before breaking off a relationship.

-- July 15, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Jump in with both feet. Rather than having one foot in the past and one in the future, commit to a positive course of action. Your special someone is looking for actual help instead of sympathy.

-- July 16, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, and Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Sit on your hands. Follow through on existing commitments, but don't enter into any additional agreements. A tendency to embroider the truth could create a slightly troublesome, hidden misunderstanding.

-- July 17, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, and Stanford White

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't waste your time, money or energy on the pursuit of an impossible dream. Like the man of La Mancha, you could be tilting at windmills and chasing an unrealistic romantic or career objective.

-- July 18, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, and Walter Cronkite.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your leadership abilities and integrity glow like a light bulb. People respect your opinion and value your sage advice. Take advantage of each and every opportunity that comes knocking on the door.

-- July 19, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You are transmitting on a high-powered channel. This is a good week to make the big push to achieve your objectives. You could be obsessed with either love or money and won't rest until you score.

-- July 20, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Trust can be a key to success. Put others first -- even if it seems your efforts are unappreciated or unreciprocated. Friendships are like pennies that can be collected and saved to use on a rainy day.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: No one cares about the cost of gas when you can use the power of love to get by. You are sharper than usual with financial affairs and ooze sex appeal when faced with members of the opposite sex.

-- July 22, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Exert extra effort to be sympathetic and generous. Ignore the little voice that urges you to do the selfish thing. Your stamina and ability to cope with emergencies are at their best for the next few days.

-- July 23, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, and Jodie Foster

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Exercise the mind, as well as the body. Someone who knows you well might stir up competition and fire up your enthusiasms. This is a good time for a sincere apology or to set the record straight.

-- July 24, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, and Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't get your wires crossed. Because you are basking in self-confidence and optimism is in the air, you might make errors of judgment that impact your piggy bank. Take the easiest path not the hardest.

-- July 25, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Chickens usually come home to roost, but can be scared away by a change in routine. Bill and coo with a special someone. A significant relationship may undergo a rift if there is a question of trust.

-- July 26, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, and Katey Sagal.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Some days you must rely on science and some days you act purely on faith. This week you will need to use a little of both to overcome cynicism and intolerance. Be kind if a loved one acts unpredictably.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be sure to use good judgment and differentiate between love and friendship. That person who is striking a spark of interest in your heart might have hidden motives. It is fine to look, but not to touch.

-- July 30, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Keep a weather eye fixed on finances. Remain cognizant of any recent shift in routines that might impact the tranquility of a stable relationship. Don't overlook bills or forget to meet a crucial deadline.

-- July 31, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, and Johnny Carson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Keep on grinding away and eventually wheat will turn into flour. Nothing useful comes without effort. The extra effort you put forth on existing projects will eventually bring satisfactory results.

-- August 1, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You will get by with a little help from your friends. Dark emotional clouds blow out of view by the evening hours and you can enjoy a night on the town. A certain someone may seem enticing and glamorous.

-- August 2, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Avoid getting bogged down in routine. Follow a friend or loved one into new and uncharted areas. An open mind will gain you valuable experiences this week that help you achieve major ambitions.

-- August 3, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Walk before you run. Confidence can be an asset, but too much of it could set you up for a bad fall. Make sure you are adequately prepared before putting your fondest dreams and plans into action.

-- August 4, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: It's not whether you win or lose; it's how you play the game. However, people prefer winners and today that winner will be you. Good fortune will draw others to you and possibly set the scene for a romantic encounter.

-- August 5, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, and Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Sometimes it is not a good idea to share. Share your heart with a special someone if the chance arises, but be wary of giving away valuable secrets in the workplace.

-- August 6, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Go through the motions and do what is expected of you. It may seem like a waste of effort, but small social rituals will put you in the proper standing among your peers. Act on your accurate intuitions.

-- August 7, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, and Pablo Picasso.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: It doesn't have to be a party to be enjoyable. A quiet evening at home could provide enormous satisfaction and enjoyment. A movie, some popcorn and a significant other offer an adequate menu this evening.

-- August 8, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, and Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't shoot the messenger. Just because someone points out a fault in your plans this does not make them an enemy. Heed the advice of others to improve your situation and help you reach your goal.

-- August 9, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A love-'em-and-leave-'em attitude only works when you aren't emotionally involved. Restrain any impulse to make a temporary break in business or in love this week as it may become permanent.

-- August 10, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, and Will Rogers.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You may find that current relationships have a tendency to be shaken, not stirred, like a great martini. Social drinkers recommend that you limit your intake -- and a great martini should be sipped slowly.

-- August 11, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Still waters run very deep and it might be your tranquil surface appearance that is most inviting to others. Just because someone is agreeable is no reason to risk an investment partnership.

-- August 12, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, and Jodie Foster.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't play pin the tail on the donkey with your finances. You could be blind to certain drawbacks or heading in the wrong direction. Loved ones might withhold reassurances or seem overly critical.

-- August 13, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Modify your goals or the way in which you move toward them. Leave the safety of familiar places and explore unfamiliar territory. It is a good time to meet new people or sponge up knowledge.

-- August 14, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, and Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Do some mental yoga. Flexibility is the key to beating the odds. Rather than being in a rush to indulge in extravagances just because they are available try some self-discipline. You will be glad you waited.

-- August 15, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, and Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A hand offered in friendship might widen your horizons. A new contact or hookup might come with a letter of recommendation from a buddy. Purchase the best quality that money can buy.

-- August 16, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, and Walter Cronkite.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Consider not just the cost, but the benefits. Keep your money in your wallet because more beneficial opportunities may arise later this week. With love, you don't always need to have your way.

-- August 17, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You might hold the winning hand. It is always necessary to wait until it is your turn to place the bet or ante up, so keep calm in the meantime. A little bluffing and patience now can pay off in the future.

-- August 18, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, and Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You can run with the big dogs. Just don't go after the biggest bones because they may cost more than you can afford. Wait another day to invest your pennies or to buy something worthwhile.

-- August 19, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Almost isn't in your vocabulary. You wouldn't want brakes that work 'almost all of the time' and you have no intention of giving anything less than your full attention to an important initiative.

-- August 20, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't settle for second best. Set your sights on the best that money or passion can obtain. Your moneymaking instincts are honed to a sharp edge, so slice off an ample piece of the economic pie.

-- August 21, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, and Will Rogers.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your bank account is your personal weather vane. When you are in the black on the balance sheet, your relationships move along like clockwork. An unexpected bill or purchase throws it all out of whack.

-- August 22, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: If you have set a fine example of hard work and purpose, you can't blame a special someone for doing the same. When you have time for play a loved one might need to squeeze you into a busy schedule.

-- August 23, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Other people inspire you to be a better person this week. You may meet people that you want to emulate, or a loved one could motivate you to spread your wings. Start paying attention now.

-- August 24, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: All's well that ends well. Use brainpower to overcome minor obstacles, but don't be such a couch potato. Short outings or running errands can refresh your enthusiasm and give you food for thought.

-- August 25, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, and Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Even practice can't make you perfect. Your aim isn't accurate today where career and business is concerned. Ignore the competition, especially those who don't play in your home territory.

-- August 26, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You won't receive press coverage for exaggerating your successful transactions. The paparazzi have bigger fish to fry, so don't expect flashbulbs to go off when you walk down the street.

-- August 27, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A little teasing goes a long way. You may 'turn on' the opposite sex, but could be unable to 'turn off' the seductive charm if things get out of hand. Don't start anything you aren't prepared to finish.

-- August 28, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, and Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There is world enough and time. Hold off on making drastic changes -- even if you understand that certain steps must be taken. Go with the flow and relax surrounded by the things and people you love best.

-- August 29, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your eyes can deceive you. Avoid signing contracts or accepting written offers, as you may misread or misinterpret both the text and the intentions. Keep your piggy bank safely under lock and key.

-- August 30, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't let it get under your skin. Some folks may seem to lord their successes over you or you might feel unappreciated and overworked. You will receive a well-deserved pat on the back by the week's end.

-- August 31, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, and Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A dog's bark may be worse than its bite, but you really don't want to test this theory. If you are warned off by a cold shoulder or someone's hot temper, be glad you received the alarm in time.

-- September 1, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Mount Everest wasn't climbed in a day. Keep chipping away at a pile of work so that pile of work doesn't turn into a mountain. Don't become frustrated and discontented if the end isn't in sight.

-- September 2, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, and Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Straighten your desk and balance your checkbook. You will find that if you are organized, you will be more efficient and less likely to make a crucial mistake. A friend may give you incorrect advice.

-- September 3, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, and Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Open the door wide and invite someone in. Confide in others. Sage advice from a friend or a wise relative can prevent you from making a major mistake. This might be a good time to make long-term plans.

-- September 4, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, and Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Churning creates cream. Recent opposition to your goals may have served to clarify what those goals really are. Remove the clutter from your life to concentrate on what is really essential.

-- September 5, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, and Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: 'Go for the gold' doesn't mean you must act like a gold digger. Luckily you have the sense and knowledge to know the difference. Restlessness may be satisfied by an unpremeditated sightseeing trip.

-- September 6, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Prime the pumps. If something important, such as a source of income, has dried up, it might take extra effort to restore the bountiful flow. Exciting new people may break up the monotony this week.

-- September 7, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, and Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The devil is in the details. Pinning someone down to something concrete may become a case of trying to catch a feather caught in an updraft. Someone might agree with you, but only to maintain the peace.

-- September 8, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, and Walter Cronkite.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Even the happiest cash cow might place a limit on milk these days. Your loved ones might think there is a never-ending supply. Find a way to please that special someone without breaking the bank.

-- September 9, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, and Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Ownership entails maintenance. Take pride in letting the neighbors see how green the yard is or how sparkly the car can be when waxed and polished. Delay making business or work related decisions.

-- September 10, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: As 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' declared, 'Don't panic.' A surprise or two may be brewing at home or in the realm of career and business. Either way, you would be wise to control reactions.

-- September 11, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Love me, warts and all? Stunned by a potential amorous conquest like a deer caught in the headlights, you could inadvertently overlook the disadvantages. Hold off on making crucial deals or proposals.

-- September 12, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: When you're hot, you're hot. A streak of creative energy may be self-satisfying and win approval from a higher-up or congratulations from a friend. Make the most of the attractive glow that surrounds you.

-- September 13, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, and Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The hardest problem can be solved with the simplest solution. Open your eyes and ears and you will realize that a friend or colleague can provide the answer you seek. Stick to business rules this week.

-- September 14, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Watch out for tunnel vision. Focusing on one particular goal may cause you to ignore a problem in another aspect of your life. Look at the big picture and make sure all matters have the proper attention.

-- September 15, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, and Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Share and share alike. Be generous with your companions and give openly when they are in need. You can't give away more than you have, but you can give support and assurances that are priceless.

-- September 16, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be happy with what you have. Don't worry about what others have. You may want these things for yourself, but it is time to customize your belongings and goals to suit your own unique needs.

-- September 17, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Those who play too close to the fire could get burned. Be wary of your first impressions; your instincts may betray you. Stay in the background and obtain additional information before acting.

-- September 18, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, and Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Love is a many-splendored thing. Now is the time to plant the seeds that will yield a passionate romance. This can be with someone new or with someone who has already captured your affections.

-- September 19, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, and Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There are winners and then there are those who finish second. Don't settle for anything less than the best. Don't forget your inner circle of friends and loved ones as you aim towards your goals.

-- September 20, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You might be at your best when charging forward with a plan or obsessed by success. At the same time you must remember to be kind towards the people who help you. Play Santa Claus this week.

-- September 21, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, and Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Put your shoulder to the yoke and dig in your heels. Work a little harder when teamed with others. The going might be a bit rough, but you can plow through anything. Persevere in the face of adversity.

-- September 22, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Put a little something away for a rainy day. It makes much more sense to conserve your hard-earned pennies and buy the best later, than to squander them on something of dubious value today.

-- September 23, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, and Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The answer to life's problems is learning to live well. This, however, doesn't mean having everything the neighbors have or spending a lot of money. Reevaluate your life's ambitions and goals.

-- September 24, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You can't spin straw into gold. You might want to try something different, but do remain cognizant of basic realities. For instance, bookkeeping software won't help if you don't make the entries.

-- September 25, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Synchronize your watches. It is important to be on the same timetable as a colleague where shared resources or joint financial endeavors are concerned. Don't be distracted by something new.

-- September 26, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, and Pablo Picasso.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You often rely upon passionate concentration to achieve whatever you sincerely desire. Your sex appeal is on the rise and you can juggle both business and romantic relationships with an adept hand.

-- September 27, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, and Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your treasure-hunting skills might pay off this week, but only if you avoid some driftwood in your way. Your companions might do something surprising that opens your eyes to wiser choices and ideas.

-- September 28, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, and Walter Cronkite.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Respond to the call of the wild by investigating new sports or hobbies. Don't mistake friendly interest for a romantic overture. Sidestep signing agreements, contracts or undertaking new obligations.

-- September 29, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You must walk a fine line between truth and dare. You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will never be happy if you don't trust enough. You may be asked to waste your time on worthless projects.

-- September 30, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Not everything that glitters or shines is gold. Tread guardedly where money is concerned. It is wise to hold off on making major decisions or expenditures. Tie up all loose ends as quickly as possible.

-- October 1, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Exert extra effort. Don't be sidetracked by compelling temptations or accept new responsibilities if at all possible. If new obligations are foisted upon you, treat them like a cosmic test you must pass.

-- October 2, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, and Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: If you work like a dog you can end up with the most succulent bones. Discipline, precision and careful organization are necessary tools. Your latest hookup will appreciate your efforts at self-improvement.

-- October 3, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, and Mathew McConaughey.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Take care climbing through barbed wire. Celestial conditions might briefly magnify a barrier between you and a loved one. Concentrate on the points in common instead of differences.

-- October 4, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: To maintain the trust of friends and partners, you must always communicate. To prevent the feeling of security and safety from turning into fear this week, you must be truly honest and forthright.

-- October 5, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Important people are watching. Handle your obligations proudly and show the world how well you can accept any challenge or test. Hunt for genuine bargains and temporarily pass up invitations.

-- October 6, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Life might force you to the brink, but you don't have to leap. This is a good time to allow your most intimate companions some privacy and autonomy. Avoid probing other people's psyche too deeply.

-- October 7, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Organize your time, your desk or your priorities to make things run more smoothly. This isn't a good day to make groundbreaking decisions, but it is a good time to stay on top of obligations.

-- October 8, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, and Johnny Carson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Shrewdly plotting your course so that you end up with all the marbles may be on your mind. Spend quality time in the pursuit of love, not money.

-- October 9, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A temporary fog is rolling in and obscuring certain facts. Postpone important decisions or significant purchases until this atmosphere has shifted. Avoid giving anyone the wrong impression.

-- October 10, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Beware of getting bad press. Your intentions are good, but you might be misunderstood. No one expects you to be an angel all of the time, but you may inadvertently give someone the wrong impression.

-- October 11, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You don't need to be tall, dark and attractive to cast a spell over a certain someone. Moody loners quickly tire of self-imposed isolation. Seek adventures of the amorous kind before the week is over.

-- October 12, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, and Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You care little about the world's opinion and travel your path in your own unique way. Your friends might be conservative conformists, leading others to believe that you are traditional, as well.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Show people what you can do and don't worry about what you're going to get. If you focus your energies on making practical progress eventually someone will sit up and take notice. Rewards will result.

-- October 14, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, and Johnny Carson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Travel light. You need not carry around the baggage of the past as you make plans for the future. It's a great time to turn your wildest ideas into solid accomplishments or moneymaking projects.

-- October 15, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, and Walter Cronkite.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You can put your money where your mouth is and actually enjoy the taste. Being generous doesn't mean someone is being frivolous. Someone in authority will accept an apology or perform a favor.

-- October 16, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Get an education and take an apple to the teacher. It does no good to invest in expensive tools if you do not learn how to use them. Hook up with someone who can teach you a few new tricks.

-- October 17, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Love is much like an oil lamp. A flame too high creates smoke that obscures the light, but one too low might snuff it out. Find a happy medium that keeps the warmth of your desires burning clearly.

-- October 18, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Stay on the charted course. Events may conspire to make your mind wander from an appointed task this week. Try to shut out the distractions and finish the job -- or you may find that you've accomplished nothing.

-- October 19, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, and Mathew McConaughey.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't bite off more than you can chew. Take charge and delegate lesser tasks to colleagues and co-workers to achieve goals; don't take on everything yourself. Don't quibble over minor details.

-- October 20, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Always look on the bright side of life. Driving ambition may affect you both at work and at home. This may be an ideal time to set significant plans into motion, to sign contracts, or to refuse to back down.

-- October 21, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. There's no need to replace what is still useful. A little TLC could go a long way in revamping what might appear to be beyond repair. Avoid frivolous spending and use common sense.

-- October 22, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The knocking at your door could be a visit from opportunity. A sweeping change is in order and you could better your situation by taking on a new project or career. You can be successful with new undertakings.

-- October 23, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, and Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Keep raising the pot until you're the last player standing. Your confidence and optimism is well founded and you can take a chance without fear of repercussion. Projects started today will succeed.

-- October 24, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, and Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Let creativity flow. Solutions and innovations may bubble up from within, and fresh ideas and insights will serve you well. Place plans into motion or start a new project no matter how impractical it seems to others.

-- October 25, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, and Katey Sagal.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Play it again, Sam. While things are going well, there is no reason to make a change. You are at your best during the second half of the week for investments, business or dynamic transitions.

-- October 26, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Postpone a shopping spree. Temporary celestial aspects make this a poor time to make major purchases or investments. A lunch date with a potential new heartthrob could fall flat or fall through.

-- October 27, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, and Mathew McConaughey.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The new moon is in your sign this month. This starts a new 30-day cycle in which your personal affairs receive more of your attention. You can make a resolution to look better and feel better.

-- October 28, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't leave yourself wide open to unpleasant speculation. Right now you could become frustrated if you try to persuade someone to follow your lead. Take it easy and ignore an itch to take chances.

-- October 29, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, and Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Compassion doesn't cost you anything and will pay off in immense admiration. You might be filled with derring-do and have your finger on the pulse of money making ideas, but you can still be kind.

-- October 30, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You could be immersed in an exciting period in your life or experience the punctuation mark. Intimate relationships may be revitalized by an infusion of passion and delightful experimentation.

-- October 31, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You are a powerhouse of initiative and have a firm grip on ambitions. Whatever you desire can be yours if you are willing to pay the price. Just make sure that others do not need to pay it for you.

-- November 1, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, and Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Avoid a rush to judgment this week. If you are in a hurry to make a change or start something new and run into obstacles or delays, it is a sure sign that you need to wait for better timing.

-- November 2, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, and Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A leopard never changes its spots. If a loved one upsets you with unpredictable responses or business contacts seem to be deliberately obtuse, try to recall times when you were in harmony. Don't let little things irritate you.

-- November 3, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Tie up all the loose ends. Neatness counts whether you are making a public presentation or just clearing up a mess of your own making. Keep your plans and intentions silent for the moment.

-- November 4, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, and Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Confidentiality is a valuable commodity. You may have some secret knowledge that you can turn to your advantage. At the same time, you must be careful to honor your promises and preserve trust.

-- November 5, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, and Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There's more to you than meets the eye. They say that still waters run deep, and it is likely that your placid exterior hides a great deal. Because you are sometimes inscrutable and reserved, a loved one might not be sure of your feelings.

-- November 6, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You can't run the whole show. Although you'd like family members or a special someone to shower you with affection, you might find that others are somewhat unpredictable. Don't take impulsive responses too seriously.

-- November 7, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: 'Beam me up, Scotty!' If only things were as easy as that. However, if you begin something that requires public acclaim to succeed, such as a business or artistic project, you could exceed expectations.

-- November 8, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, and Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You can't play a shell game with someone's heart. You could be gambling that others won't see through your verbal misdirection. Either make a firm break or back up words with action this week.

-- November 9, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: This is possibly the time to seek political leverage or a quid pro quo. You seem to be a popular figure on some circuits because you show a genuine interest in other people's problems and issues.

-- November 10, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, and Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Money matters. Money might not buy happiness, but it can certainly buy things that make life more satisfying. A passion for the good things in life extends to tender moments with a special someone.

-- November 11, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: People in glass houses should never throw stones. You may feel challenged by those who espouse pedestrian views. Draw a curtain over your shortcomings and don't be offended by those of others.

-- November 12, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, and Will Rogers.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The less said, the better. Some advice you receive may not have your best interests at heart -- or a usually reliable source of information might be inaccurate. Today's full moon illuminates areas of confusion.

-- November 13, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, and Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be original and resourceful. This isn't the time to remain blind to the potentials that lie beneath the surface. A significant other may have the key that will unlock a treasure trove of romance or money.

-- November 14, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American
girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they
got along very well until one day he rushed into a
lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a
divorce.

Lawyer: Have you any grounds?

Client: Yes, an acre and a half, a nice little home.

Lawyer: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?

Client: It is made of concrete.

Lawyer: I don't think you understand.

Lawyer: Does either of you have a grudge?

Client: No, we have a carport, and not need one.

Lawyer: I mean, what are your relations like?

Client: All my relations still in Poland.

Lawyer: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?

Client: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?

Client: No, I always up before her.

Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger?

Client: No, she white.

Lawyer: Why do you want this divorce?

Client: She is going to kill me.

Lawyer: What makes you think that?

Client: I got proof.

Lawyer: What kind of proof?

Client: She is going to poison me.

Client: She bought a bottle at a drugstore and put it on
shelf in bathroom.

Client: I can read, and it says 'Polish Remover'

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Climb to nosebleed heights on a mental plane. You could be filled with a sense of adventure where business or love is concerned if you are willing to experiment with the latest and greatest knowledge.

-- November 15, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, and Walter Cronkite.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Take the easy way out this week. If someone offers an apology, or a promise, then accept it. Feuds evaporate when two people find that they have many things in common and a chance to achieve compromise.

-- November 16, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Collaborate, don't elaborate. You aren't required to go overboard with spending or to take on everything all by yourself. This is a great time to enlist help and share resources that others can offer you.

-- November 17, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Ask and you shall receive. Maybe you will only receive something small, but you will be thankful for the help. You can receive valuable advice now, so meet with a mentor -- or consult a doctor or lawyer.

-- November 18, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Put your money where your mouth is. It is possible that you have preached about investing wisely or spending carefully in the past and now you have a chance to set a good example of the same.

-- November 19, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Prove your worth. It is possible to live up to high ideals and profit at the same time. Your business instincts may urge you to go for the jugular, but you must remain fair and do the right thing.

-- November 20, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There is a tendency to concentrate on faults and mistakes rather than on fun. If there is one thing you need to remember, it is that you can't cast blame on others and expect them to accept it unconditionally.

-- November 21, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Whistle while you work. Make a sustained effort to see a pet project through to the end, even if it means sacrificing entertainment plans. Your efforts will pay off with either fame or good fortune.

-- November 22, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, and Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Think things through. With a national holiday on this week's calendar, you may be forced to rush to meet deadlines. Some business matters may end up on a long hiatus and need to be jump-started.

-- November 23, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Draw the line somewhere. It might be difficult to get up the steam to complete tasks or handle obligations. Comparisons to others only highlight what you lack, not what you possess in abundance.

-- November 24, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, and Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't jump the gun. The atmosphere today may encourage rushing into action. If you have an important project to launch or financial decisions to make, take the time to patiently think things through.

-- November 25, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Imaginative tactics can't break up an impasse. Take it easy and don't force financial issues. A significant other may be pressed for time, but will remain loyal and desires to give you the attention you deserve.

-- November 26, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Count all the things that create contentment. Your focus may be riveted on the pennies in your piggy bank during the next several weeks. Deep within, you know it is true that money can't buy love.

-- November 27, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, and Mathew McConaughey.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Play for keeps. Boundless energy gives you the chance to work and play at your own pace. Although this isn't a favorable day for developing business strategies, it could be great day for accomplishments.

-- November 28, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You no longer have to keep a grip on the short end of the stick. One thing that held you back from achieving a very important goal has been conquered. A stuffy relationship can blossom into camaraderie.

-- November 29, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Dot all the i's and cross all your t's this week. Leave nothing to chance when finishing projects and check work repeatedly to make sure you haven't missed a step. You'll save time in the long run.

-- November 30, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, and Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Find common ground to resolve the situation. Needless arguments and fighting can only hamper progress. A direct approach to a project could be fraught with pitfalls; you may need to find an alternative.

-- December 1, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, and Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Remember that a sound foundation can withstand a great deal of adversity. Sweeping changes in the emotional areas of your life could leave you feeling overwhelmed. Ride out any temporary storm.

-- December 2, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Remain light on your feet. Don't get caught off guard. Remain mentally agile and ready for anything. You can navigate safely through harrowing situations if you just keep your wits about you.

-- December 3, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A competitive spirit blooms like a rose, but like a rose has a few sharp thorns. Your innermost dreams of what you want and what you hope to achieve will surface and become apparent to those around you.

-- December 4, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Enjoy the best of both worlds. Play mediator in an agreement and see to it that all parties benefit to the utmost. You may discover information that allows you to get the upper hand on a delicate situation.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Play it by the numbers. Your acumen for handling finances could come into play today and allow you and those around you to be on the winning team. It may be time to set the wheels of romance in motion.

-- December 6, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, and Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A quick fix can cause more damage than good. Try to work within the parameters already in place. If it seems that a change is needed in the week ahead take your time to consider all angles.

-- December 7, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You might change your luck if you initiate something new right now, but it might not be for the better. Aim for the best and highest and remain focused on making permanent improvements.

-- December 8, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, and Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Depend on other people to help you out in a pinch. Someone else may be able to run interference and block emerging problems on your behalf. Avoid adding to tensions with an authority figure.

-- December 9, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Something that seems exciting might hold endless complications. Try not to make any crucial changes especially with your financial situation. Don't open a new bank account or sign a contract.

-- December 10, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, and Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You know if you've been naughty or nice. You might not be as confident as usual when under pressure to perform at your best or you could feel that loved ones are keeping score. It pays to be nice.

-- December 11, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, and Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Did you hear about the blonde virgin who wasn't
upset about losing her cherry?
A: She figured she could always get a new one, since
she still had the box it came in.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't bite off more than you can chew. A temporary misunderstanding can cause trouble within relationships or cloud someone's judgment. Avoid wheeling and dealing or signing agreements.

-- December 12, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, and Pablo Picasso.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A change of pace could force you to change your opinion. Follow your heart where love is concerned and you can't go wrong. It's a perfect night to explore sweet surrender and sensual snuggles.

-- December 13, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, and Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Play close to home. Pleasant celestial conditions are centered on home base and romantic relationships this week. Current suspicions and attractions are unreal and likely to fade away very quickly.

-- December 14, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, and Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Turn over a new leaf. You can't get by just on your charm and good looks alone. Buckle down and get something accomplished -- even if it is just cleaning up your file cabinet or balancing the checkbook.

-- December 15, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio - Overview

Your sign is that of intense Scorpio, the eighth sign of the zodiac, best characterized by passion, intensity, and emotionality. You are considered to be the most powerful and extreme sign of the zodiac, because you deal with the process of fundamental transformation on all levels.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Focus comes, but we don't always get the chance to choose the lens that makes it happen. There could be some upsets at home that require your patience, but business dealings begin to make sense.

-- December 16, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, and Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Encouraging family members to buy items that are on sale doesn't make you a Scrooge. A sharp friend may point out ways to shave some costs on necessities. Tuck some cash away for an emergency.

-- December 17, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, and Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

As a forceful and enigmatic Scorpio, you do well in all kinds of professions that allow you to investigate the nature of things. You are attracted to everything that is complex, mysterious, and even abnormal.

Your quest for depth and fascination with secrecy let you excel in professions involving detection, science, research, and occult investigations. Therefore, you may like working as a chemist, pharmacist, radiologist, pathologist, spy or detective, or as a political activist. In addition, your interests in alternative medicine and spirituality may also inspire your career choices.

As a Scorpio, you may decide to become a modern day “mystic” or healer, using your profound insight and healing powers to help others explore their own depth by bringing body, mind, and soul together. You may prefer sticking to the more traditional healing methods, and become a medical doctor in the fields of gynecology, urology, or psychology.

[teapeebubbles]

Taking another route, you may feel like making a difference in this world, using your strategic talents to get involved in politics. You’ve got the charisma and power to find enough followers, if that’s what you want. However, your fascination with criminology or espionage may lead you to choose a profession in that field.

Coworkers see you as passionate and courageous. They admire your staying power and your discipline, and they know better not to mess with you.

Your qualities as a boss can be described as loyal, responsible, and stoical. You can get very obsessive and extreme if you work on a project, and expect others to feel the same way. Your team is definitely sitting on explosive material with you!

The secret of your success is your incredible willpower and the physical strength you have at your disposal when you put your mind to something. Your resourcefulness and endurance is unbeatable!

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Follow the path of least resistance. Someone's gentle persuasion can guide you into welcoming arms over the next several days. Avoid making changes to your bank account or computer today.

-- December 18, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, and Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Roast a few chestnuts. Warm up in front of a roaring fire. The winter solstice is on its way with the longest night of the year and this can be perfect for lovers who want to snuggle just a bit closer.

-- December 20, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Save receipts this week. A trip to the store might save you money if the item you purchased last week has gone on sale. The brainy economic steps you take now can make a big difference in the year ahead.

-- December 21, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, and Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Relax at home. Small conflicts are possible when people are stressed by a long list of holiday tasks. Avoid being part of the holiday rush and take a detour around high-traffic areas.

-- December 22, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, and Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There is plenty of conviviality at work and loads of affection waiting for you at home. Although Santa's elves may work overtime to get Christmas treats ready, it will be worth all the effort.

-- December 23, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, and Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Deck your halls with boughs of holly. Surround yourself with loved ones and share the best things in life. Planetary conditions are perfect for a night of amorous magic with a romantic partner.

-- December 24, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, and Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You can't measure the happiness and joys of this season with a calculator. Be proud of your loved ones, wherever they may be, and take joy in the little things in life that mean so much

-- December 25, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Glamorous escapades may be just within sight on the horizon. It is a good night for a movie, theater or a concert. Be mesmerized by intoxicating music, surroundings or the person you are with.

-- December 26, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Cast cosmic nets and capture your dreams. Imagine what the future holds. Home and family may play a big part in your success during the month to come or become the motivation for your ambitions.

-- December 27, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, and Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Recession-proof your life. This is the week when resolutions are formed -- and one of yours should be to find ways to remain solvent in the face of any uncertainty. Consider building contingency reserves.

-- December 28, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, and Carl Sagan.

[teapeebubbles]

2009 Scorpio Horoscope

Two Sides of the Same Coin

In 2009, be prepared for surprises, the likes of which you've never seen before. Each surprise will be like the proverbial two-sided coin. You'll be doing a lot of work in seclusion, but you'll do it so well that everyone will know about it. You'll make more money than you have in a long time, but you won't be able to think of anything you want to spend it on. You just might find your dream home, but you'll be either too busy or too tired to enjoy it. And in spite of the fact that you'll be playing the role of the solitary workaholic, you'll receive more social invitations than you ever dreamed of

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't take criticism too personally. Let it inspire you to work just a bit harder. Initiating a new health regime may be on your mind. You have the ability to exert perfect control over your habits.

-- December 29, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, and Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: (October 24 to November 22)
Beating around the bush is not your usual practice. You prefer cutting to the heart of issues and speaking your mind but must be wary of using words like weapons. Exercise more tact than usual.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There will be an opportunity to set the record straight and achieve a truce. Even better, you can earn respect and admiration by being forgiving towards someone who has crossed an imaginary line.

-- December 30, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, and Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be a little reckless and say just what you mean. It is New Year's Eve and you can be truthful about what you hope the future will bring. You can put away the hatchet and let bygones be bygones.

-- December 31, 2008

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Think carefully before voicing a New Year's resolution. You may want to have your cake and eat it, too. Your huge appetite for love or money can cause you to bite off more than you can chew.

-- January 1, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, and Will Rogers.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: To be in command of others you first must be in command of your own actions. Under these stars you can convey your meaning in a professional, but respectful manner. Avoid signing agreements.

-- January 2, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Save it for a rainy day. You could strike it rich with bargains on the sales tables, but may regret it later when you face unexpected expenses. Get caught up on a backlog of detailed work and pay the bills.

-- January 3, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, and Johnny Carson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A temporary change of tactics is needed with loved ones. New friends can be made in a blink of the eye in the week to come. Join a group, sign up for a class, or start taking an interest in community affairs.

-- January 4, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, and Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Kill them with kindness. Whenever you take steps to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to control you. If you pretend to be magnanimous it might become the real thing.

-- January 5, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Enjoy the view. Half the fun of climbing the ladder of success is meeting nice people along the way. You can mix and mingle with groups, co-workers or your friends and still make admirable progress.

-- January 6, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, and Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: When you give bitterness a safe harbor, love will choose to dock somewhere else. It might be time to heal a wound or ask for forgiveness. Or just give someone an opportunity to make amends.

-- January 7, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, and Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your safety net is waiting to catch you. Let go of a grudge. This could be an excellent time to craft a positive change by asking for forgiveness, asking for favors, or seeking professional advice.

-- January 8, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, Emily Post, and Will Rogers.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be on guard for an unforeseen catch in an agreement. If you fall down, smile and get back up on your feet again. The very things that trip you up can prove just how resourceful and capable you are in a pinch.

-- January 9, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, and Katey Sagal.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: It may not be a dirty job, but somebody has to do it. You are able to handle anything that requires grit and determination. It is a good day to go out of your way to show affection to the one you love.

-- January 10, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, and Jodie Foster.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A little hard work never hurt anyone. Roll up your shirtsleeves and get down to business in the week to come. Your loved ones might seem disenchanted with you, but it is only a temporary downturn.

-- January 11, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, and Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Concentrate on developing wealth, will and social skill. The person who is willing to cooperate with others is not necessarily considered weak-willed. You can create an advantageous compromise.

-- January 12, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, and Johnny Carson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Accept kudos just for being yourself. Don't bend over backward to impress someone with your business expertise. Don't get overly involved with business dealings that involve romantic partners.

-- January 13, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Seeing is believing. But sometimes you can only see what you hope or want to see. A family matter might entail more spin than substance -- so before you agree to anything, take another, closer look.

-- January 14, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Pablo Picasso, and Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be the life of the party. Your social skills will come into play. You can keep the ball rolling or make a particularly attractive presentation. Even the busiest person will take a few moments to hear you out.

-- January 15, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, and Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't skim through the day. You can achieve success only if you read past the first paragraph and study like a college student at finals. Don't try to do the job quickly. Try to do it right.

-- January 16, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Stimulate yourself with relaxation. Even if you must prepare for the coming workweek, you can kick off your shoes and wiggle your toes. Your judgment is better than usual and you may be asked for advice.

-- January 17, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, and Jodie Foster.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Give without remembering that you gave and take without forgetting that you have taken. In the week ahead someone might give you the opportunity to show off your leadership abilities in public.

-- January 18, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, and Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Your passions can fill your pockets. Promote an aura of mystery and glamour to attract the kind of attention you yearn to receive. Investigate new information carefully and you may unearth the truth.

-- January 19, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, and Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What do you do if you run over a lawyer?
A: Back over him to make sure. Then, make another notch
on the steering wheel.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't sell yourself short. The ambition on your mind right now is entirely do-able. There are plenty of people, right in your own home or neighborhood, who are eager to help you achieve your goals.

-- January 20, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, and Walter Cronkite.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: True optimists are those who promise themselves that they will not let what they cannot do interfere with what they can do. A positive spirit can uplift the members of your household and make dreams come true.

-- January 21, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, and Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What type of apparel is the most popular with lawyers?
A: Law-suits.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Recharge your inner batteries by sharing a movie or quiet walk with a certain someone. Sometimes, the sound of silence says a lot more than any words can. Listen to your heart.

-- January 22, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, and Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: It should come as no surprise that the times they are a-changing. Don't be overly critical of someone's rebellious ways or shocking opinions. Hold on tightly if someone briefly tries to rock your boat.

-- January 23, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, and Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The pronunciation.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
A: You cry when you cut up an onion.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Protect your interests. When walking across hot coals, it is wise to wear thick-soled shoes. Outfox someone who is fostering a deliberate misunderstanding by refusing to be overly sensitive.

-- January 24, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, and Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: There is a saying that if triangles invented a god, they would make it three-sided. You may worship money, love or success, but this week you will be passionate about what most closely resembles yourself.

-- January 25, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: The nearest cemetery.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: An attitude of "motivation doesn't last" isn't going to help you get ahead. There may be a temporary lull in your enthusiasm, but remember that motivation is much like bathing. You have to do it daily.

-- January 26, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: A masterly command of well-learned business maneuvers allows you to roller skate through commercial activities. You can flaunt your passions with a capital "P" but this won't impress a lover.

-- January 27, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, and Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Be known as a straight shooter. Hold a meeting to smooth over problems and foster team spirit. You can get whatever you passionately want by relying on the good will and assistance of others.

-- January 28, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, and Johnny Carson.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake
and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What
should you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon
from hell?
A: Another lawyer.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Some decisions may remain up in the air, or unresolved, as certain people jockey for a new position. It is best to bide your time and avoid controversy.

-- January 29, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Dana Plato, and Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Pull a few strings behind the scenes. Ensure that important goals are reached. If people trust you with secrets, keep them confidential. Your significant other may be engrossed in something other than you.

-- January 30, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, and Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Others look up to you as a role model and someone special finds you appealing. Try to produce a family friendly atmosphere if you invite someone out tonight. Ensure that your actions are labeled "G" or "PG."

-- January 31, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Roseanne Barr, and Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Keep your chin up. Find inspiration through a friend who offers optimism, patience and support. This is especially important during the first half of the week when an aura of gloom might prevail.

-- February 1, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz, Richard Dreyfuss, and Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Carry an umbrella. If caught in a storm of controversy, you will need to duck for cover. Protect your interests by avoiding crucial decisions and finding ways to avoid over reacting to temporary aggravations.

-- February 2, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Jaclyn Smith, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, and Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Retreat from risky business. You have a tendency to react with pre-conditioned responses to stimuli. If you don't come out fighting when you hear the bell, you won't risk being knocked down and out.

-- February 3, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Kate Jackson, Joely Fisher, Michael Landon, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, and K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Remember Aesop's fable of the tortoise and the hare. Take the time to do any job thoroughly and carefully. Some people may not be as cooperative as they could be -- or as you would like them to be.

-- February 4, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, and Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Let the Big Bad Wolf huff and puff. Like the Three Little Pigs, you can weather any stormy celestial condition if you have built solid defenses. Be prepared for an unexpected message from a friend.

-- February 5, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, and Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You may feel the need to challenge authority and strike out on your own. The problem is that if you do so under these conditions, your actions may be misunderstood. Hold off on important decisions.

-- February 6, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, and Jodie Foster.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: You may need to re-examine and reflect upon an obsessive situation to achieve clarity. Apologies may be in order. If you have treated someone harshly or unfairly, take steps to make reparations.

-- February 7, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, and Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Grow up. You are long past the terrible two's where you must say "no" to everything. Open yourself to a new world of possibilities by saying "yes" to whatever presents itself this week.

-- February 8, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, and Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Follow the breadcrumbs that mark the way out of a maze. You may arrive at conclusions that can be used to your advantage. Home projects or family matters started now may live happily ever after.

-- February 9, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Sally Field, Dana Plato, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Danny DeVito, and Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: To dream the impossible dream might be entirely possible if you play your cards right. The full moon in Leo puts the spotlight on close relationships, family and home for the next several weeks.

-- February 10, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, Whoopi Goldberg, and Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Exercise both your mind and body. Stretch a little further than you think possible and don't be afraid to dream of a major success in the career sector. Friends might help behind the scenes.

-- February 11, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Walter Cronkite, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Major progress can be made, especially in the love department, but business requirements or responsibilities could keep you apart. New ways of doing things can challenge even the most adept.

-- February 12, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, and Johnny Carson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO: Don't be too wrapped up in temporary distractions that interfere with the day's work. Tonight you may get an opportunity to act out romantic fantasies at home. Turn on your love light tonight.

-- February 13, 2009

Who else was born under SCORPIO? Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio, Grace Kelly, and Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Cupid's arrows might hit a bull's-eye. They say that love begins in the mind so don't forget to whisper some sweet nothings in someone's ear as it might lead to sweet "somethings" later this evening.

-- Saturday, Feb 14, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Lauren Holly, Katey Sagal, Richard Dreyfuss, Lyle Lovett, Katharine Hepburn, Meg Ryan, Emily Post, Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

The future is now. Actions taken today toward your ultimate goal will have lasting and far-reaching effects that will allow you to find success. Remain focused on your objectives this week.

-- Sunday, Feb 15, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Grace Kelly, Roseanne Barr, Katey Sagal, Robert Kennedy, Sally Field, Meg Ryan, Courtney Thorne Smith, Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What is the difference between a good lawyer and a
great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law... a great lawyer knows
the judge.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Delve deep into your own well of creativity. Use resourcefulness to quickly strike at the heart of the problem while others are foolishly twiddling their thumbs. Be generous with your possessions.

-- Monday, Feb 16, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Will Rogers, K.D. Lang, Kate Capshaw, Stanford White, Kevin Kline, Jaclyn Smith, Grace Kelly, Jodie Foster.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio


If you want something done, do it yourself. There's no need to wait on outside assistance when you are quite capable of taking care of a matter yourself. You and a significant other could be at odds.

-- Tuesday, Feb 17, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Joely Fisher, Kevin Kline, Demi Moore, Theodore Roosevelt, Carl Sagan, Will Rogers, Roseanne Barr, Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Keep all bases covered. You are consumed with work while a special someone wants to play. Be tactful, but remain focused on your tasks. In some situations it is better to let the head rule the heart.

-- Wednesday, Feb 18, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Bo Derek, Danny DeVito, Roseanne Barr, Kate Jackson, Meg Ryan, K.D. Lang, Grace Kelly, Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

There's no point in holding a grudge. Open up your heart and be the first one to go to the person you've been feuding with and clear the air. A frank discussion could lead to a mutually beneficial compromise.

-- Thursday, Feb 19, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Rock Hudson, Robert Kennedy, Prince Charles, Martin Luther, Danny DeVito, Jaclyn Smith, K.D. Lang, Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Don't play your hand unless you are sure that you have all the cards. A plethora of confidence could lead you to make mistakes where money is concerned. Spend and invest wisely, leaving little to chance.

-- Friday, Feb 20, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Bo Derek, Kate Lawson, Katharine Hepburn, Weird Al Yankovic, Demi Moore, Jodie Foster, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Knowing is half the battle. Go out of your way to gather information. Hunt down the facts that can make a difference. Read the paper, watch the news or do research online to get to the nitty-gritty.

-- Saturday, Feb 21, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Bo Derek, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Lyle Lovett, Michael Landon, Roseanne Barr, Martin Luther, Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Grab some beads. If you are heading off to Mardi Gras celebrations this week, you should be prepared to flaunt your bling. This is a good week for travel, parties or for doing something unusual.

-- Sunday, Feb 22, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Richard Dreyfuss, Sally Field, Theodore Roosevelt, Jaclyn Smith, Martin Luther, Jami Gertz, Mathew McConaughey, Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio


Retune a piano. The strings of a piano are strung tightly in a big, heavy box and this proves that great tension can create great harmony. For the best results, an instrument needs playing, not practice.

-- Monday, Feb 23, 2009


Who else was born under Scorpio?
Bo Derek, Lyle Lovett, Katey Sagal, Jami Gertz, Demi Moore, Grace Kelly, K.D. Lang, Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Where there's a will, there's a way. You can make sound investments if you act quickly. Wind up your business affairs early, so you are free for a night of enchantment with a special someone.

-- Tuesday, Feb 24, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Mathew McConaughey, Jenny McCarthy, Richard Dreyfuss, Danny DeVito, Bill Gates, Jodie Foster, Katey Sagal, Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. New traditions have to start someplace -- and you are just the person to lead the way. Loved ones may be upset if you make drastic changes.

-- Wednesday, Feb 25, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Theodore Roosevelt, K.D. Lang, Bonnie Raitt, Katharine Hepburn, Goldie Hawn, Bo Derek, Kate Capshaw, Demi Moore.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Your tastes are capricious. Stifle the urge to pursue physically attractive people who pique your interest. It is easy to be misinterpreted today, so don't discuss controversial subjects such as politics.

-- Thursday, Feb 26, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kevin Kline, Michael Landon, Carl Sagan, Robert Kennedy, Whoopi Goldberg, Kate Jackson, Pablo Picasso, Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You can't please all the people all the time. A kindhearted gesture can be taken the wrong way or backfire. As misunderstandings may arise, it is wise to be cautious about accepting invitations.

-- Friday, Feb 27, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Robert Kennedy, Meg Ryan, Leonardo DiCaprio, Bonnie Raitt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Dana Plato, Kate Capshaw, Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

An air of flirtatious romanticism could lead you astray or create a misunderstanding. It is best to maintain a low profile and avoid making important commitments under these stars.

-- Saturday, Feb 28, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Whoopi Goldberg, Sally Field, Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts, Jami Gertz, Joely Fisher, Prince Charles, Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What's a blonde's favourite nursery rhyme?
A: Hump-me Dump-me.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Don't sell yourself short. You may have to work a bit harder than usual to impress the boss but the results will be worth it. You are capable of doing what may seem, initially, to be impossible.

-- Sunday, Mar 01, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Prince Charles, Will Rogers, Kevin Kline, Grace Kelly, Bonnie Raitt, Kate Lawson, Weird Al Yankovic, Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Take your time and be thorough. The sharpest tack always pins down a situation neatly and securely. You are certainly smart enough to know that slipshod work won't earn you any Brownie points.

-- Monday, Mar 02, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Weird Al Yankovic, Robert Kennedy, Lauren Holly, Kate Lawson, Courtney Thorne Smith, Bill Gates, Bo Derek, Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Not too hot and not too cold. Your diplomatic efforts can become a two-edged sword. You could rock the boat by being politically correct but, at the same time, insensitive to the nuances of a situation.

-- Tuesday, Mar 03, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Richard Dreyfuss, Roseanne Barr, Theodore Roosevelt, Kate Capshaw, Lyle Lovett, Rock Hudson, Dana Plato, Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Read the fine print. You may experience a deep passion for making money, but investments need careful scrutiny. Your romantic ardor is at an all time high, so don't pass up a chance for intimacy.

-- Wednesday, Mar 04, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Julia Roberts, Danny DeVito, Kate Lawson, Jaclyn Smith, Emily Post, Michael Landon, Sally Field, Winona Ryder.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Wear a life jacket if you think you might end up at sea. You may be dumped into a think tank with brilliant people so it is important to keep your head above water. Know your subject thoroughly.

-- Thursday, Mar 05, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Sally Field, Jami Gertz, Grace Kelly, Julia Roberts, K.D. Lang, Stanford White, Daisy Fuentes, Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Love is a four-letter word, too. Be sure to spell things out in careful detail to prevent misunderstandings. Indulge an appetite for the good things in life; have a fabulous dinner out or visit the spa.

-- Friday, Mar 06, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Katey Sagal, Katharine Hepburn, Calista Flockhart, Lauren Holly, Robert Kennedy, Will Rogers, Rock Hudson, Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Sleep on it. Your creative brain is working overtime, but provocative ideas need more polishing before being put into play. It is wise to wait to start new enterprises or make important proposals.

-- Saturday, Mar 07, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Joely Fisher, Kevin Kline, Calista Flockhart, Grace Kelly, K.D. Lang, Meg Ryan, Prince Charles, Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Meet aggravation and criticism with Zenlike calm. You know that a minor issue will blow over if you don't make a big deal of it now. In the week ahead, you could become interested in a new hobby.

-- Sunday, Mar 08, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Lyle Lovett, K.D. Lang, Katey Sagal, Rock Hudson, Winona Ryder, Grace Kelly, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Aim high. Concentrate on achieving your aspirations rather than ambitions. Recent frustrations may be a signal you are on the wrong path, especially with your job, career, or business plans.

-- Monday, Mar 09, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Katey Sagal, Jami Gertz, K.D. Lang, Daisy Fuentes, Roseanne Barr, Rock Hudson, Michael Landon, Felix Grabowski.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Set your goals higher. You may be merely a small fish in a large pond, but you deserve your fair share of the food. There is ample room for you to grow and thrive. Consider a new hobby or pastime.

-- Tuesday, Mar 10, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Bill Gates, Whoopi Goldberg, Kate Lawson, Theodore Roosevelt, Felix Grabowski, Danny DeVito, Daisy Fuentes, Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

A delicate touch can work wonders. If you exert some charm and sympathy you will receive your wish. Launch projects that require public acclaim or attention and you will get more publicity than expected.

-- Wednesday, Mar 11, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Johnny Carson, Bo Derek, Richard Dreyfuss, Kevin Kline, Pablo Picasso, Theodore Roosevelt, Whoopi Goldberg, Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Enjoy diversions, but don't be diverted from the most necessary routines. Friends may lure you away from a task or job by offering savory suggestions about ways to escape from the ordinary.

-- Thursday, Mar 12, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Calista Flockhart, Felix Grabowski, K.D. Lang, Julia Roberts, Grace Kelly, Daisy Fuentes, Joely Fisher, Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Scale the heights. While you shouldn't tempt fate by walking under ladders, there is no need to fear climbing them. Enlist support from new connections and allies who share your vision of the future.

-- Friday, Mar 13, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Calista Flockhart, Mathew McConaughey, Kate Lawson, Lauren Holly, Bo Derek, Jami Gertz, Bill Gates, Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

If your mind is like a steel trap then it might be time to set it and catch something useful. Apply your aptitude for business to domestic matters and make some practical decisions.

-- Saturday, Mar 14, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Lyle Lovett, Sally Field, Winona Ryder, Theodore Roosevelt, Felix Grabowski, Pablo Picasso, Rock Hudson, Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Bide your time, as good things always come to those who wait. Loved ones may seem to be more concerned with a sense of duty than with unbridled spontaneity early in the week. Adjust your expectations.

-- Sunday, Mar 15, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Rock Hudson, Julia Roberts, Michael Landon, Johnny Carson, Walter Cronkite, Jaclyn Smith, Bonnie Raitt, Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Take what is offered. Someone close could be sizzling with desire, and you merely need to glance in the right direction. If you are looking for a romantic oasis, quench your thirst for love this evening.

-- Monday, Mar 16, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Katharine Hepburn, Felix Grabowski, Robert Kennedy, Will Rogers, Rock Hudson, Meg Ryan, Bo Derek, Jaclyn Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Hum a few bars of "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling." Romantic stars are twinkling in the heavens this evening, so treat someone to a lavish dinner or offer a special someone a token of your appreciation.

-- Tuesday, Mar 17, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kate Capshaw, Grace Kelly, Jenny McCarthy, Johnny Carson, Lauren Holly, Meg Ryan, Sally Field, Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Don't trust a sudden change of heart. If you have always seen someone or something in a negative light, today the tables may be turned. A friendly overture might not be exactly what it seems.

-- Wednesday, Mar 18, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kate Capshaw, Joely Fisher, Sally Field, Kevin Kline, Michael Landon, Walter Cronkite, Theodore Roosevelt, Winona Ryder.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Water always seeks its own level. If you are in touch with your ambitions you will seek others who can help you along on the road to success. Don't make any irrevocable changes or promises.

-- Thursday, Mar 19, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Grace Kelly, Jodie Foster, Bill Gates, Goldie Hawn, Roseanne Barr, Jami Gertz, Whoopi Goldberg, Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Put your plans on hold. You may be gripped by an obsession that revolves around your money or your assets, but this isn't an auspicious time to put anything of great importance into motion.

-- Friday, Mar 20, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Katharine Hepburn, Lyle Lovett, Weird Al Yankovic, Courtney Thorne Smith, Robert Kennedy, Lauren Holly, Katey Sagal, Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Duty might weigh down love. The question might be whether a certain idea will be a commitment or a ball and chain. To attain peace of mind, be sure to know whom you can trust and whom you can't.

-- Saturday, Mar 21, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Pablo Picasso, Michael Landon, Bonnie Raitt, Johnny Carson, Rock Hudson, Bo Derek, Felix Grabowski, Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Take steps to make dreams a reality in the week ahead. Think about the kind of life you'd live if you had the money and credentials to live it. Your ambitions could be stirred by contact with successful people.

-- Sunday, Mar 22, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Kline, Julia Roberts, Lyle Lovett, Winona Ryder, Bill Gates, Dana Plato, Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

2009 Scorpio Horoscope

Two Sides of the Same Coin

In 2009, be prepared for surprises, the likes of which you've never seen before. Each surprise will be like the proverbial two-sided coin. You'll be doing a lot of work in seclusion, but you'll do it so well that everyone will know about it. You'll make more money than you have in a long time, but you won't be able to think of anything you want to spend it on. You just might find your dream home, but you'll be either too busy or too tired to enjoy it. And in spite of the fact that you'll be playing the role of the solitary workaholic, you'll receive more social invitations than you ever dreamed of.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

There is no need to exploit others to maintain the upper hand. Any advantage you gain at this time by being secretive is probably an illusion. Avoid running up any credit card debt today.

-- Monday, Mar 23, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Walter Cronkite, Danny DeVito, Michael Landon, Theodore Roosevelt, Jodie Foster, Felix Grabowski, Jaclyn Smith, Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Maintain a reasonable amount of personal space. People who rub shoulders with you in a group setting might secretly be offended by familiarity or a lack of formality. Stay within the bounds of good manners.

-- Tuesday, Mar 24, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kate Capshaw, Kevin Kline, Jodie Foster, Prince Charles, Joely Fisher, Kate Jackson, Michael Landon, Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Gawky teenagers gravitate toward gracelessness. Because you don't know how to act at a group event, you might feel like a kid at a first prom. Keep in mind that others might be uncomfortable, too.

-- Wednesday, Mar 25, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Katey Sagal, Danny DeVito, Jenny McCarthy, Pablo Picasso, Richard Dreyfuss, Grace Kelly, Katharine Hepburn, Lyle Lovett.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Take your place in line. Others in your circle seem to get all the glory, and the spotlight, but this does not diminish your own brightness. Remember that you add something unique.

-- Thursday, Mar 26, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Grace Kelly, Leonardo DiCaprio, Martin Luther, Rock Hudson, Lauren Holly, Roseanne Barr, Winona Ryder, Bill Gates.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

It is a good time to learn some new tricks. Find a peaceful place to study in solitude and you will be able to put the pieces of the puzzle together. This is a good time to make a long-term commitment.

-- Friday, Mar 27, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Robert Kennedy, Michael Landon, Grace Kelly, Kate Lawson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Winona Ryder, Courtney Thorne Smith, Pablo Picasso.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Things are looking up and stress within a relationship can be healed. You may feel more contented with what you have and who you know. Key decisions about your future can be made with impunity.

-- Saturday, Mar 28, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Carl Sagan, Pablo Picasso, Kate Lawson, Will Rogers, Grace Kelly, Julia Roberts, Jodie Foster, Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Fools and their money are soon parted. Don't be a fool; keep the purse strings tightly drawn and leave the spending for another day. An unexpected source could add some adventure to your week.

-- Sunday, Mar 29, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Whoopi Goldberg, Rock Hudson, Grace Kelly, Jodie Foster, Kate Lawson, Lauren Holly, Katharine Hepburn, Katey Sagal.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Strive to be the best. Find someone with greater experience who is a mover or a shaker whom you can emulate. Using old tricks of the trade and the traditions of salesmanship are likely to meet with success.

-- Monday, Mar 30, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Walter Cronkite, Weird Al Yankovic, Jenny McCarthy, Carl Sagan, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jaclyn Smith, Kevin Kline, Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

If you've got it, flaunt it. Others may be drawn to your physical magnetism or dazzled by an aura of power. You and that special someone may find yourselves climbing to new heights of intimacy.

-- Tuesday, Mar 31, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Felix Grabowski, Julia Roberts, Daisy Fuentes, Kate Jackson, Katharine Hepburn, Michael Landon, Grace Kelly, Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Don't rely on memory alone. Have concrete proof on hand to seal the deal. Don't deviate from the rules. It will not serve your best interests to be permissive or allow others to circumvent the law.

-- Wednesday, Apr 01, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
K.D. Lang, Bonnie Raitt, Whoopi Goldberg, Kate Jackson, Kate Capshaw, Bill Gates, Courtney Thorne Smith, Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

A penny saved is a penny earned. Take your cash as far as it will go. Squeeze that dollar until your fingers turn green. Don't get drawn into petty squabbles or nitpicking contests over who said what.

-- Thursday, Apr 02, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Martin Luther, Walter Cronkite, Rock Hudson, Demi Moore, Danny DeVito, Jami Gertz, Lauren Holly, Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Money spent foolishly is money wasted. Buy something that is worthwhile and useful or donate to those who are in need. Prepare to make beautiful music with a loved one over the weekend.

-- Friday, Apr 03, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Katey Sagal, Bonnie Raitt, Prince Charles, Jaclyn Smith, Johnny Carson, Daisy Fuentes, Goldie Hawn, Carl Sagan.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Be open and clear as to what your exact intentions are. You can save face and avoid embarrassment by outlining your objectives for others. If making a minor investment, put the emphasis on minor.

-- Saturday, Apr 04, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Emily Post, Dana Plato, Jodie Foster, Kate Jackson, Calista Flockhart, Kevin Kline, Julia Roberts, Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You might think you have been given a free ride, but it could cost a bundle. You might have missed the point. Wait until later in the week to make key decisions or set an important project into motion.

-- Sunday, Apr 05, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kevin Kline, Bonnie Raitt, Johnny Carson, Katharine Hepburn, Daisy Fuentes, Bill Gates, Stanford White, Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

The dust may be stirred up. It might get in your eyes and obscure the truth while you are busy sorting the wheat from the chaff. Be a discriminating individual, but don't be overly particular about the details.

-- Monday, Apr 06, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Bonnie Raitt, Richard Dreyfuss, Kevin Kline, Prince Charles, Kate Lawson, Courtney Thorne Smith, Pablo Picasso, Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Being too kindhearted or willing to please could land you in a pickle. Don't be persuaded to change your tune at the drop of a hat. Bosses or other authority figures could be somewhat unpredictable.

-- Tuesday, Apr 07, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Meg Ryan, Kate Capshaw, Leonardo DiCaprio, Michael Landon, Joely Fisher, Lyle Lovett, Carl Sagan, Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

It is sometimes difficult to be easygoing when the going gets rough. A lack of truthfulness could rub you the wrong way or misleading information could waste your time at work. Find ways to de-stress.

-- Wednesday, Apr 08, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Theodore Roosevelt, Meg Ryan, Felix Grabowski, Grace Kelly, Stanford White, Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

The somewhat surprising events that you experience under today's full moon could become compelling motivators. A little innocent flirtation while at work or school might spice up your day.

-- Thursday, Apr 09, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Sally Field, Dana Plato, Will Rogers, Robert Kennedy, Grace Kelly, Bill Gates, Martin Luther, Walter Cronkite.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Take care of necessities early. Give yourself plenty of time to hook up with a favorite playmate and turn into a tender twosome in the evening. A relationship could arrive at a satisfactory conclusion.

-- Friday, Apr 10, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Jodie Foster, Goldie Hawn, K.D. Lang, Jami Gertz, Kate Capshaw, Richard Dreyfuss, Bonnie Raitt, Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Get physical. A little exercise or participation in sports could be just what the doctor ordered. You might make a wise decision on major purchases or score a deal while on a shopping expedition.

-- Saturday, Apr 11, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Whoopi Goldberg, Dana Plato, Kate Jackson, Will Rogers, Bo Derek, Goldie Hawn, Grace Kelly, Winona Ryder.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You can't play rap music during the church choir's hallelujah chorus and expect applause. Wait for an appropriate time and place to show off. You can't "do your own thing" in group settings this week.

-- Sunday, Apr 12, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Michael Landon, Johnny Carson, Kate Lawson, Robert Kennedy, Meg Ryan, Roseanne Barr, Carl Sagan, Katey Sagal.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The most mystifying questions might be answered by your own intuitions. You could be challenged to discuss something that you prefer to keep under your hat. You must share information to preserve trust.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You can't wheel and deal with the taxman. Hold onto every penny that you deserve to keep, but don't try to rationalize questionable deductions that lie in a gray area. Keep accurate records.

-- Tuesday, Apr 14, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
K.D. Lang, Felix Grabowski, Lauren Holly, Kevin Kline, Jami Gertz, Roseanne Barr, Bonnie Raitt, Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

An intimate relationship could need another dose of politeness. When you have become familiar with someone's daily habits it is easy to take things for granted and omit the "please" and "thank you."

-- Wednesday, Apr 15, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Pablo Picasso, Lyle Lovett, Jenny McCarthy, Kate Capshaw, Courtney Thorne Smith, Kate Jackson, Felix Grabowski, Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Too much of a good thing is just that. Under these stars, unwise spending sprees could put a dent in your wallet. Don't sign contracts or make a promise as you might bite off much more than you can chew.

-- Thursday, Apr 16, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Daisy Fuentes, Kate Capshaw, Leonardo DiCaprio, Prince Charles, Johnny Carson, Grace Kelly, Goldie Hawn, Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Offhand remarks should not be taken as gospel. Take advice with a healthy dose of salt. This isn't the time to scatter caution to the winds, and it is wise to be skeptical of offers, opportunities and promises.

-- Friday, Apr 17, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kate Jackson, Goldie Hawn, Jodie Foster, Richard Dreyfuss, Walter Cronkite, Julia Roberts, Michael Landon, Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Unexpected complications may sidetrack your social life. Any temporary unpleasantness will pass quickly. Reckless investments or changes could cause more problems than they are worth.

-- Saturday, Apr 18, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Robert Kennedy, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jami Gertz, Michael Landon, K.D. Lang, Katharine Hepburn, Kate Lawson, Felix Grabowski.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

It is a good week to get out that list of things you were going to "think about later." Your business tactics might be more successful than usual and you have better judgment regarding financial matters.

-- Sunday, Apr 19, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Bill Gates, Will Rogers, Prince Charles, Kate Lawson, Johnny Carson, Jodie Foster, Julia Roberts, Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Get perched for action. When you become dissatisfied with mere chickenfeed, remember that you have the resources to fly like an eagle. You can launch something of importance in the next few days.

-- Monday, Apr 20, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Whoopi Goldberg, Emily Post, Bill Gates, Bo Derek, Kate Capshaw, Winona Ryder, Felix Grabowski, Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Bend with the punches. You might need to perform some fancy footwork to stay focused on your target but you are bound to outperform the competition. Be sure to get the numbers exact as you plan.

-- Tuesday, Apr 21, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Lauren Holly, Whoopi Goldberg, Dana Plato, Lyle Lovett, Danny DeVito, Jami Gertz, Meg Ryan, Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio Fun Facts

Deep, intense Scorpio may seem withdrawn, but natives of this sign hold within themselves rapid-firing brains and rich depths.

Beneath a controlled, cool exterior beats the heart of the deeply intense Scorpio. Passionate, penetrating, and determined, this sign will probe until they reach the truth. The Scorpio may not speak volumes or show emotions readily, yet rest assured there's an enormous amount of activity happening beneath the surface. Excellent leaders, Scorpions are always aware. When it comes to resourcefulness, this sign comes out ahead.

Friends and Family

Sincerity and truth are strong components of the Scorpio's friends. It can take some time before really close bonds are formed, but once done, the Scorpio will remain dedicated and loyal. Witty and intellectual, they prefer companions who are humorous and easygoing. Full of surprises, this sign will give you the shirt off their backs if that's what you need, yet once they are crossed, there's no turning back. They feel deeply, and once hurt, it can be impossible to turn things around. Commitment to family is strong and consistent with the Scorpio. They are exceptionally helpful in managing affairs, and they are excellent advocates when needed.

Career and Money

I desire is the key phrase for the Scorpio. They are fantastic at managing, solving, or creating. Once the Scorpio sets their sights on a goal, there's no deterring this sign. Tasks that require a scientific, penetrating approach are always best done by Scorpions as they will delve deeply into the materials they have. Their ability to focus coupled with determination makes for strong management skills. They're not ones to worry about making friends on the job scene; rather, they prefer to see the task accomplished well.

Pursuing such careers as scientist, doctor, investigator, navigator, detective, researcher, police officer, business manager, and psychologist all suit the mighty Scorpio. Respect is an essential aspect of working for this sign. They need to respect their coworkers while also feeling a sense of being respected by others.

Scorpions are disciplined enough to stick to a budget and unafraid of working as hard and as long as it takes to get themselves in a good financial position. Many are fortunate and inherit money. Whatever the case - and regardless of the balance - they are great managers of their dollars and are not apt to overspend. Money means security and a sense of control, which is important to the Scorpio. Therefore, they're going to hang onto the majority of the cash, making decisions carefully before turning any of it over.

Love and Sex

This is the strongest of the sexualities in the Zodiac. Incredibly passionate, the Scorpio takes intimacy seriously. Partners need to be intelligent and honest. Much of the foreplay for this sign happens long before the bedroom through conversation and observation. Once in love, they are devoted and loyal to the death. But relationships can take some time. The Scorpio needs to build trust and respect for a potential mate slowly and thoroughly.

SCORPIO TIDBITS

Health
Each sign has a part of the anatomy attached to it, making this the area of the body that is most sensitive to stimulation. The anatomical areas for Scorpio are the genitals, bladder, rectum, and the reproductive organs.

Ruling Planet
The ruling planet for Scorpio is Pluto. Traditionally, this planet rules that which is hidden from view. It also represents conception, birth, death, slow growth, generation, regeneration, unpopular causes, anonymity, phobias, and the exposition of secrets.

Colors
The colors of choice for Scorpio are dark red and maroon.

Gemstone
Scorpio's star stone is the opal.

Lucky Numbers
Scorpio's lucky numbers are 2, 7, and 9.

Compatibility
Scorpions are most compatible with Pisces and Cancer.

Opposite Sign
The opposite sign of Scorpio is Taurus.

The Perfect Gift
The best gifts for a Scorpio are sentimental choices, clothing (especially something sexy), and non-fiction books.

Likes
Truth, facts, being right, teasing, longtime friends, a grand passion, a worthy adversary

Dislikes
Dishonesty, passive people, revealing secrets

House
Natural sign of the Eighth House. This house focuses on sex, taxes, death and rebirth, a partner's resources, inheritance, and regeneration.

Famous Scorpions
Hillary Clinton, Leonardo DiCaprio, Sean Combs, Julia Roberts

Best travel destination
Zambia, Syria, Norway, Halifax, Liverpool, New Orleans, Washington, D.C.

Strengths
Passionate, stubborn, resourceful, brave, a true friend

Weaknesses
Jealous, distrusting, secretive, violent, caustic

Charismatic marks
An intense look in the eyes, muscular

Best environment
Dark, sensuous places, any situation that offers power or rouses strong feelings

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Develop a strong sense of purpose. Tackle business matters or your career in a unequivocally results oriented way. Work hard and you are sure to achieve your most important goals on many levels.

-- Wednesday, Apr 22, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Carl Sagan, Whoopi Goldberg, Lyle Lovett, Daisy Fuentes, Mathew McConaughey, Walter Cronkite, Kate Jackson, Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Change not, fail not. You already have put certain key matters into motion that will help you attain your objectives. Changing your plans at this juncture can only create disruptions and mistrust.

-- Thursday, Apr 23, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Richard Dreyfuss, Robert Kennedy, Lyle Lovett, Whoopi Goldberg, Johnny Carson, Goldie Hawn, Bo Derek, Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

The new moon in your opposite sign may bring relationship matters into sharper focus in the month to come. Right now you may be confused or upset by a temporary lack of essential harmony.

-- Friday, Apr 24, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Sally Field, Grace Kelly, Carl Sagan, K.D. Lang, Rock Hudson, Katey Sagal, Dana Plato, Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Logic streamed out through the window when you looked away. It isn't that you can't see the solution; it is that you can't see the problem. You may be blind to certain inconsistencies in your ideas.

-- Saturday, Apr 25, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Michael Landon, K.D. Lang, Demi Moore, Mathew McConaughey, Katharine Hepburn, Lauren Holly, Danny DeVito, Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

A passion to have and to hold might be generated by ignoble desires in the week to come. You must fight against a tendency to take drastic measures where your romantic interests or finances are concerned.

-- Sunday, Apr 26, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Pablo Picasso, Goldie Hawn, Grace Kelly, Roseanne Barr, Kate Capshaw, Kevin Kline, Will Rogers, Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Whet your appetite for competitive activities. A part of you prefers to sit there counting beans, but you will do much better in the long run if you contend with others on a well-run playing field.

-- Monday, Apr 27, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Lauren Holly, Demi Moore, Bo Derek, Leonardo DiCaprio, Will Rogers, Grace Kelly, Kevin Kline, Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Run rings around the competition. Once you get past minor early morning conflicts, you can make quick work of any project or task. Shared memories and feelings can put zing in a romance.

-- Tuesday, Apr 28, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Danny DeVito, Julia Roberts, Prince Charles, Bo Derek, Richard Dreyfuss, Leonardo DiCaprio, Calista Flockhart, Jaclyn Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Pay attention to the wants and needs of others. You might find that a significant other is spellbound by a magnificent obsession. That obsession could be something that makes you doubt your hold.

-- Wednesday, Apr 29, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Julia Roberts, Jodie Foster, Whoopi Goldberg, Kate Jackson, Lyle Lovett, Jami Gertz, Roseanne Barr, K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Stay in the frying pan. You won't land in the fire if you don't initiate key changes. If you appear friendly and outgoing, others may drop a valuable idea in your lap or help you achieve key objectives.

-- Thursday, Apr 30, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Dana Plato, Jodie Foster, Lyle Lovett, Demi Moore, Weird Al Yankovic, Bonnie Raitt, Richard Dreyfuss, Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Watch what you say. You might feel pressured to put your money where your mouth is, to your disadvantage. Don't let any confidential cats out of the bag in an effort to impress an attractive someone.

-- Friday, May 01, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Will Rogers, Demi Moore, Stanford White, Bill Gates, Goldie Hawn, Whoopi Goldberg, Julia Roberts, Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

"Do it to me one more time." You only have one thing on your mind this weekend. Because you are focused on getting what you want, you aren't likely to listen to reason or avoid extravagances.

-- Saturday, May 02, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Bo Derek, Demi Moore, Robert Kennedy, Jami Gertz, Lauren Holly, Theodore Roosevelt, Jodie Foster, Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Bet on the inevitable. Although you may feel the boss is looking over your shoulder or the rules are a bit stringent in the coming week, you will eventually prevail. Tables will turn in your favor.

-- Sunday, May 03, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kevin Kline, Katharine Hepburn, Felix Grabowski, Grace Kelly, Jenny McCarthy, Lauren Holly, Joely Fisher, Danny DeVito.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You are never perplexed by the profound. You can use insightful words as fresh inspiration and as fodder to achieve your dreams. Gather mental momentum even though actions are held in check.

-- Monday, May 04, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Daisy Fuentes, Richard Dreyfuss, Grace Kelly, Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan, Leonardo DiCaprio, Lyle Lovett, K.D. Lang.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Don't be bashful about proving you are a leader. Although you might land in the mud the first time out, you'll eventually emerge smelling like a rose. You may not realize that someone close wants to emulate your success.

-- Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Rock Hudson, Bonnie Raitt, Michael Landon, Kate Capshaw, Kate Lawson, Meg Ryan, Joely Fisher, Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Stick your finger in the book of fate and choose an inspiring paragraph. A family member, a neighbor or something quite close to home could provide you with an amazing idea or insight.

-- Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Jenny McCarthy, Kate Capshaw, Carl Sagan, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Daisy Fuentes, Theodore Roosevelt, Jaclyn Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

If you have a bottle and a genie, then start rubbing. One of your most compelling career or business wishes may come true. It may take some effort on your part to achieve your objectives.

-- Thursday, May 07, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Daisy Fuentes, Dana Plato, Pablo Picasso, Will Rogers, Theodore Roosevelt, Courtney Thorne Smith, Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Sail into the sunset with an amorous partner. Money and love are two major turn-ons this weekend. You may have more than one opportunity to improve your net worth or make a sound investment.

-- Friday, May 08, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Walter Cronkite, Jodie Foster, Emily Post, Danny DeVito, Demi Moore, Johnny Carson, Lauren Holly, Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

A passionate tango for two might be written on your dance card. Anything worth doing requires a spirit of sharing and cooperation. With a helpmate, you can make business or pleasure successful.

-- Saturday, May 09, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kevin Kline, Winona Ryder, Courtney Thorne Smith, Jami Gertz, Kate Jackson, Roseanne Barr, Danny DeVito, Jodie Foster.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Be adventurous and explore new horizons. Your romantic partner may seem timid when dealing with the unknown this week. Hold hands and be supportive as you traverse new fields of endeavor.

-- Sunday, May 10, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Emily Post, Lyle Lovett, Stanford White, Roseanne Barr, Mathew McConaughey, Jami Gertz, Bill Gates, Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Count your blessings. It may be annoying that others seem to be merely going through the motions, but be thankful that they care enough to do just that. Avoid being overly dramatic.

-- Monday, May 11, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Daisy Fuentes, Meg Ryan, Michael Landon, Julia Roberts, Lyle Lovett, Grace Kelly, Winona Ryder, Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Silence is extremely golden. You'll be wise to wait out a period of mixed signals. Avoid starting anything of any great importance. Try spending quiet time on your own and exploring a good book.

-- Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Bill Gates, Jaclyn Smith, Kevin Kline, Robert Kennedy, Whoopi Goldberg, Calista Flockhart, Joely Fisher, Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But even a masterpiece could be a fake or a worthless copy. Be cautious about accepting promise or offers at face value. Don't let the background noise distract you.

-- Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kate Capshaw, Danny DeVito, Robert Kennedy, Richard Dreyfuss, Pablo Picasso, Daisy Fuentes, Carl Sagan, Julia Roberts.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Run a tight ship. Treat friends and family with as much consideration and respect as a captain at the helm. Gather ideas and inspirations from unusual sources but avoid buying things on impulse.

-- Thursday, May 14, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Lyle Lovett, Robert Kennedy, Leonardo DiCaprio, Rock Hudson, Weird Al Yankovic, Walter Cronkite, Stanford White, Demi Moore.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Springtime excursions will shine as brightly as the stars above. Couples will find hours of romantic bliss to share and singles should be on the lookout for the "one" who may be waiting just around the corner.

-- Friday, May 15, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Katey Sagal, Bo Derek, Katharine Hepburn, Stanford White, Prince Charles, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther, Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

If you're lucky in love, don't worry about the rest. The pleasant hum of romantic wheels turning may be music to your ears. Look forward to quality time spent with a very special someone.

-- Saturday, May 16, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Dana Plato, Theodore Roosevelt, Lyle Lovett, Bonnie Raitt, Danny DeVito, Walter Cronkite, Jenny McCarthy, Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

No matter what state the economy is in, you will feel better when you conserve your pennies. This is a week to cook out on the patio or rent a movie and pop your own popcorn with family members.

-- Sunday, May 17, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Jaclyn Smith, Goldie Hawn, Courtney Thorne Smith, Roseanne Barr, Walter Cronkite, K.D. Lang, Theodore Roosevelt, Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Stay sharp and keep goals firmly in view. A romantic encounter could come your way if you are perceptive enough to realize it. It could be a good time to begin working on projects at home.

-- Monday, May 18, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Joely Fisher, Courtney Thorne Smith, Michael Landon, Johnny Carson, Grace Kelly, K.D. Lang, Jodie Foster, Katey Sagal.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Honesty is the best policy. Do not be afraid to ask for help from those with more experience and knowledge. The temperature could be rising on your private Love-O-Meter, so make the right moves tonight.

-- Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kate Lawson, Joely Fisher, Mathew McConaughey, Rock Hudson, Katey Sagal, Stanford White, Daisy Fuentes, Meg Ryan.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Don't fool yourself. You cannot pull the wool over someone's eyes and pretend to be what you aren't. Responsibility, precision and a high degree of experience are highly valued commodities.

-- Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Grace Kelly, Rock Hudson, Katharine Hepburn, Emily Post, K.D. Lang, Walter Cronkite, Demi Moore, Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Speak softly and carry a big stick. Like the respected president who popularized this phrase, you can make your wants and needs known in a congenial way. Smooth out the rough edges with diplomacy.

-- Thursday, May 21, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Bo Derek, Will Rogers, Kate Jackson, Kate Capshaw, Prince Charles, Daisy Fuentes, Jodie Foster, Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You don't have to yield to pressure. Concentrate on work, career, and reputation even if a partner is in relentless pursuit. There will be plenty of time for amorous appointments later this evening.

-- Friday, May 22, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Roseanne Barr, Bonnie Raitt, Richard Dreyfuss, Jaclyn Smith, Rock Hudson, Robert Kennedy, Kate Capshaw, Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Don't cut corners. A lavish feast of food or pleasure might be prepared for your enjoyment. Whether it is business or pleasure that turns you on, go ahead and indulge an appetite for the finest things.

-- Saturday, May 23, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kate Lawson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Martin Luther, Bill Gates, Emily Post, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Knowledge is power, but enthusiasm turns on the switch. Tackle some around-the-house improvements in the week ahead. If you are enthused about bettering your surroundings, any job will be a breeze.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Turn a corner. You may have to act on faith where a family member or home-based matter is concerned. Facts that were obscured or hidden may become visible and your belief in others will be rewarded.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Peace reigns supreme with loved ones. Your most attractive qualities are shining brightly. Capitalize on this mood by making key contacts and putting yourself in front of those who can aid your career.

-- Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Felix Grabowski, Grace Kelly, Calista Flockhart, Michael Landon, Johnny Carson, Theodore Roosevelt, Lauren Holly, Jami Gertz.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Be open to new ideas, but do not launch important initiatives. A gracious attitude toward others will smooth any troubled areas today. Zero in on financial matters before a busy weekend distracts you.

-- Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Lyle Lovett, Felix Grabowski, Emily Post, Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly, Courtney Thorne Smith, Kate Capshaw, Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Others look up to you as a role model. Maintain a wholesome family-oriented atmosphere at work as well as at home. Make sure all your efforts are labeled "PG" for the best success.

-- Thursday, May 28, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Calista Flockhart, Winona Ryder, Bill Gates, Jami Gertz, Katharine Hepburn, Carl Sagan, Roseanne Barr, Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You can get a lot accomplished by working from home. You may be tempted to throw your weight around. People may be somewhat irritated if you insist on taking your place at the head of the line.

-- Friday, May 29, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Daisy Fuentes, Theodore Roosevelt, K.D. Lang, Danny DeVito, Katharine Hepburn, Michael Landon, Calista Flockhart, Jaclyn Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You could be intent on getting your own way. An air of secrecy might cause a strain with family members. Be up front about your intentions. Reconsider plans that will cost undue amounts of money.

-- Saturday, May 30, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Lyle Lovett, Stanford White, Jodie Foster, Courtney Thorne Smith, Bill Gates, Calista Flockhart, Lauren Holly, Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

It is time to test the waters and develop a sense of accomplishment. Put together a list of things you've always wanted to do. Then try one or two of the legal ones in the week ahead and see how you feel.

-- Sunday, May 31, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Prince Charles, Joely Fisher, Will Rogers, Jenny McCarthy, Grace Kelly, Demi Moore, Daisy Fuentes, Winona Ryder.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

In the business world it pays to be detail oriented. You might be put in a situation in which you must have the answer to important questions right at your fingertips. get the facts in order to succeed.

-- Monday, Jun 01, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Roseanne Barr, Kevin Kline, Winona Ryder, Katey Sagal, Sally Field, K.D. Lang, Richard Dreyfuss, Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Talk is cheap. That is a good thing because a passing comment may save you from an expensive mistake. Making the right connections can catapult you into a more powerful situation or position.

-- Tuesday, Jun 02, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Michael Landon, Theodore Roosevelt, Dana Plato, Sally Field, Roseanne Barr, Walter Cronkite, Emily Post, Demi Moore.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but it's unsuitable for a potluck dinner. Although you may be irritated by someone or something, don't take advantage of an opportunity to retaliate under these stars.

-- Wednesday, Jun 03, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Dana Plato, Roseanne Barr, Katey Sagal, Lauren Holly, Lyle Lovett, Mathew McConaughey, Whoopi Goldberg, Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Negativity plants seeds of discontent. Rather than allowing doubts and despair to grow, consider ways to develop a state of health and abundance. Avoid making waves or changes on the career front.

-- Friday, Jun 05, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kate Jackson, Lauren Holly, Felix Grabowski, Jenny McCarthy, Prince Charles, Jaclyn Smith, Kate Capshaw, Bill Gates.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

As the spacefaring captain famously said, "Make it so." People are willing to forgive and forget. Use your time wisely and focus on making others feel comfortable, cherished and desirable.

-- Saturday, Jun 06, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kevin Kline, Jami Gertz, Grace Kelly, Kate Capshaw, Prince Charles, Kate Lawson, Daisy Fuentes, Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Life may seem to be just a game of "Mother, may I?" You don't want to make a move without asking for permission during the week to come. Reinforce positive behavior by saying please and thank you.

-- Sunday, Jun 07, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Martin Luther, Prince Charles, Demi Moore, Jami Gertz, K.D. Lang, Katharine Hepburn, Joely Fisher, Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Money isn't everything. So many hands are out that you might feel like an ATM machine. It is important to remember that you are being judged by your generosity as well as for your efforts today.

-- Monday, Jun 08, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kevin Kline, Leonardo DiCaprio, Katey Sagal, Richard Dreyfuss, Johnny Carson, Theodore Roosevelt, Jodie Foster, Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Pull your weight. It is time to do your fair share and maybe even more than you bargained for. By handling responsibilities that others tend to shirk, you can rest easy knowing that the job was done.

-- Tuesday, Jun 09, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kevin Kline, Kate Jackson, Courtney Thorne Smith, Lyle Lovett, Bo Derek, Pablo Picasso, Kate Capshaw, Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Just because it works doesn't mean it is worthy of your interest or energy or that it is a viable solution for today's problem. What has always worked in the past isn't necessarily the answer to today's dilemma.

-- Wednesday, Jun 10, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kate Capshaw, Daisy Fuentes, Walter Cronkite, Winona Ryder, Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Leonardo DiCaprio, Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Every peak has a matching valley. Just because you are discouraged or run into obstacles does not mean that a change will solve your problem. Maintain the status quo where money is concerned.

-- Thursday, Jun 11, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Mathew McConaughey, Michael Landon, Jami Gertz, Kate Capshaw, Julia Roberts, Felix Grabowski, Will Rogers, Johnny Carson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Choose quality over quantity. A yen for excitement may make someone more adventurous than usual. Everyone's routines or plans might be disrupted just to appease one person's thirst for change.

-- Friday, Jun 12, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Johnny Carson, Bonnie Raitt, Robert Kennedy, Bo Derek, Kevin Kline, Emily Post, Whoopi Goldberg, Jaclyn Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Pin the tail on the donkey. Drive and initiative can get you where you want to go. Balance a forthright, can-do attitude with a sense of humor and you can outmaneuver all opposition to your plans.

-- Saturday, Jun 13, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Richard Dreyfuss, Walter Cronkite, Kate Capshaw, Calista Flockhart, Emily Post, Katey Sagal, Martin Luther, Mathew McConaughey.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

A happy home life creates harmony elsewhere. The desire to please family members can be a strong motivator in the week ahead. You possess a magic touch with home improvements and projects.

-- Sunday, Jun 14, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Leonardo DiCaprio, K.D. Lang, Calista Flockhart, Courtney Thorne Smith, Sally Field, Will Rogers, Bill Gates, Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Settle for nothing but the best. You may be a bit more idealistic than usual and see the wisdom in supporting neighborhood stores and local businesses. Confidence in family members will be rewarded.

-- Monday, Jun 15, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Grace Kelly, Calista Flockhart, Theodore Roosevelt, Bo Derek, Katharine Hepburn, Sally Field, Goldie Hawn, Kate Lawson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

A little generosity goes far. You can afford to be charitable and might derive the most satisfaction by writing a big check for a worthy cause. Just remember that charity begins at home.

-- Tuesday, Jun 16, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Michael Landon, Jodie Foster, Kate Capshaw, Weird Al Yankovic, Whoopi Goldberg, Julia Roberts, Kevin Kline, Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Put the "R" back in romance by roaming the neighborhood with the one you love. A short walk or trip might help to rekindle latent fires. You have great vision where your financial future is concerned.

-- Wednesday, Jun 17, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Will Rogers, Katey Sagal, Goldie Hawn, Emily Post, Winona Ryder, Kate Capshaw, Stanford White, Mathew McConaughey.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Wise advice solves financial problems. You can seek out a guru or listen to an expert in your field to achieve worthy goals. A special someone might have an answer, too.

-- Thursday, Jun 18, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Julia Roberts, Richard Dreyfuss, Sally Field, Martin Luther, Courtney Thorne Smith, Kate Capshaw, Grace Kelly, Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Meet your match. Your intensity of purpose can be put to good use at the job or for a business project. You are more attractive than you think. Problems evaporate in the face of unflinching faithfulness.

-- Friday, Jun 19, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Mathew McConaughey, Stanford White, Will Rogers, Weird Al Yankovic, Bonnie Raitt, Carl Sagan, Calista Flockhart, Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Take baby steps. Before you can walk independently, you need someone to give you a hand or prop you up. This isn't the time to launch a major initiative because you aren't ready to do the footwork.

-- Saturday, Jun 20, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Grace Kelly, Jenny McCarthy, Michael Landon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, Theodore Roosevelt, Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Nothing is set in stone. Even the sturdiest of rocks will slowly erode over time. Old policies, conditions and mindsets may be gradually shifting this week. Be willing to adapt to changing circumstances.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Take time out to explore the inner "you." Situations at the job or in a relationship may have relegated you to a role that doesn't really suit your talents. Get away from it all for a little while.

-- Monday, Jun 22, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Julia Roberts, Kevin Kline, Joely Fisher, Bonnie Raitt, Martin Luther, Danny DeVito, Pablo Picasso, Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

The slightest breeze can knock down a house built of cards. Make sure that your projects are on sound foundations and will hold up to scrutiny. You may be wise to wait before making final decisions.

-- Tuesday, Jun 23, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kate Capshaw, Julia Roberts, Stanford White, Grace Kelly, Walter Cronkite, Robert Kennedy, Jenny McCarthy, Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

They say that opposites attract, but sometimes "sames" attract, as well. Look to meet up with those who can match your likes step for step and with whom you can enjoy business as well as pleasures.

-- Wednesday, Jun 24, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Daisy Fuentes, Whoopi Goldberg, Meg Ryan, Calista Flockhart, Courtney Thorne Smith, Kate Capshaw, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Don't be found guilty by association. Try to gravitate towards those who have something genuine to offer you, be it knowledge or advice. Stay away from overly emotional or opinionated types.

-- Thursday, Jun 25, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Pablo Picasso, Demi Moore, Grace Kelly, Jenny McCarthy, Julia Roberts, Kate Jackson, Weird Al Yankovic, Will Rogers.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Setting the bar too high could be a recipe for failure. Stay within boundaries and don't take on more than you are capable of. A business situation or friendship could be building to a romantic crescendo.

-- Friday, Jun 26, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kate Capshaw, Joely Fisher, Stanford White, Johnny Carson, Felix Grabowski, Prince Charles, K.D. Lang, Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Value is often in the eye of the beholder. With that in mind, don't throw out something that you consider junk that might be considered extremely valuable to someone else. Your romantic life flourishes.

-- Saturday, Jun 27, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Whoopi Goldberg, Richard Dreyfuss, Sally Field, Bo Derek, Daisy Fuentes, Winona Ryder, Mathew McConaughey, Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

The pendulum swings both ways, but the pit never moves. Avoid the pit during the week to come by being cautious about contracts.

-- Sunday, Jun 28, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Jaclyn Smith, Calista Flockhart, Julia Roberts, Jodie Foster, Felix Grabowski, Lauren Holly, Kate Jackson, Walter Cronkite.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Read between the lines and don't be upset by messages that you may have misinterpreted. Remain industrious to reach your goals.

-- Monday, Jun 29, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Prince Charles, Lauren Holly, Bill Gates, Grace Kelly, Rock Hudson, Jami Gertz, Goldie Hawn, Jenny McCarthy.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

A passing fancy might catch your eye, but don't admit anything and upset an existing relationship. Remember: Silence is golden.

-- Tuesday, Jun 30, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Rock Hudson, Katharine Hepburn, Walter Cronkite, Bo Derek, Roseanne Barr, Weird Al Yankovic, Michael Landon, Joely Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You may be entranced by someone who is warm, willing and witty, but family matters might spoil plans for a romantic rendezvous.

-- Friday, Jul 03, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Grace Kelly, Katey Sagal, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Lauren Holly, Michael Landon, Carl Sagan, Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Garbage in, garbage out. If you accept inaccurate information at face value, you will find that some of your plans are unfulfilled.

-- Saturday, Jul 04, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
K.D. Lang, Theodore Roosevelt, Pablo Picasso, Bonnie Raitt, Bill Gates, Weird Al Yankovic, Goldie Hawn, Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Focus on the big picture. Associating with those from a different background or culture can trigger temporary squabbles.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Accept an offer of tea and sympathy. A pleasant lunch with a friend or a few hours of amorous play with a lover are possible.

-- Wednesday, Jul 08, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan, Kate Capshaw, Daisy Fuentes, Leonardo DiCaprio, Martin Luther, Theodore Roosevelt, Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Maintain the momentum. Don't take on any extra obligations or you will need to burn your candle at both ends to keep up

-- Thursday, Jul 09, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Roseanne Barr, Jenny McCarthy, Weird Al Yankovic, Bo Derek, Richard Dreyfuss, Stanford White, Jami Gertz, Julia Roberts.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Secrets are not meant for sharing. You have the ability to manipulate the players, but it may not be in your best interests to do so.

-- Friday, Jul 10, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kevin Kline, Grace Kelly, Sally Field, Katey Sagal, Michael Landon, Danny DeVito, Will Rogers, Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

A big gamble might result in a showdown. Powerful celestial alignments may help you to pinpoint what truly brings happiness.

-- Saturday, Jul 11, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Leonardo DiCaprio, Will Rogers, Joely Fisher, Goldie Hawn, Roseanne Barr, Robert Kennedy, Kate Lawson, Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

By the end of the week you will stand out in a crowd. Get attention for what you do right, not for what you do that is wrong.

-- Sunday, Jul 12, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Grace Kelly, Kevin Kline, Carl Sagan, Stanford White, Jaclyn Smith, Rock Hudson, Whoopi Goldberg, Mathew McConaughey.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

It's a good idea to be unswayed by certainty. What you think is the best possible choice might turn out to be the worst in the end.

-- Monday, Jul 13, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Will Rogers, Richard Dreyfuss, Felix Grabowski, Mathew McConaughey, Sally Field, Leonardo DiCaprio, Meg Ryan, Courtney Thorne Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

A significant other or business contact may try to push you into uncomfortable actions. Hold off on crucial decisions.

-- Tuesday, Jul 14, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
K.D. Lang, Jodie Foster, Meg Ryan, Bo Derek, Danny DeVito, Dana Plato, Weird Al Yankovic, Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Serving the greater good is better than indulging in self-serving activities. Don't operate behind the scenes or pull strings.

-- Wednesday, Jul 15, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kevin Kline, Grace Kelly, Robert Kennedy, Whoopi Goldberg, Mathew McConaughey, Demi Moore, Lyle Lovett, Walter Cronkite.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Try physical activity to lift your spirits and restore vitality. A significant other might be in an amorous mood later this evening.

-- Thursday, Jul 16, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Robert Kennedy, Joely Fisher, Bill Gates, Will Rogers, Emily Post, Martin Luther, Felix Grabowski, Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Unconventional methods can spell success if you work hard and fast. Puppy love might nip at your heels later this evening.

-- Friday, Jul 17, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Danny DeVito, Lyle Lovett, Julia Roberts, Jami Gertz, Kate Lawson, Felix Grabowski, Jaclyn Smith, Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

When you ride the range you must abide by cowboy ethics. Ride herd on your stampeding ambitions until late in the week.

-- Sunday, Jul 19, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Danny DeVito, Bonnie Raitt, Goldie Hawn, Demi Moore, Kate Lawson, Martin Luther, Walter Cronkite, Weird Al Yankovic.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Take the "facts" with a grain of salt. The stated opinions may not be those of management. And there might be a hidden disclaimer.

-- Monday, Jul 20, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Dana Plato, Carl Sagan, Daisy Fuentes, Jami Gertz, Martin Luther, Felix Grabowski, Joely Fisher, Emily Post.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Tried and true tactics can make you the leader of the pack. Try shifting your attention to making money the old fashioned way.

-- Tuesday, Jul 21, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Jenny McCarthy, Prince Charles, Kate Capshaw, Joely Fisher, Rock Hudson, Meg Ryan, Carl Sagan, Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Bask in the civilizing affect of education like you are at the tanning salon. Read, study and exercise your mind.

-- Wednesday, Jul 22, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Leonardo DiCaprio, Carl Sagan, Grace Kelly, Sally Field, Mathew McConaughey, Courtney Thorne Smith, Kevin Kline, Theodore Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Put your foot in the door to get someone's attention. Do not sign an agreement or a contract; all the facts might not be available.

-- Thursday, Jul 23, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Katharine Hepburn, Lyle Lovett, Kate Capshaw, Danny DeVito, Lauren Holly, Martin Luther, Carl Sagan, Roseanne Barr.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Your dreams could grow by leaps and bounds if you let your imagination run free. If you be cooperative, others will be kind.

-- Friday, Jul 24, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Emily Post, Jodie Foster, Leonardo DiCaprio, Calista Flockhart, Grace Kelly, Pablo Picasso, Prince Charles, Felix Grabowski.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Like a horse wearing blinders, you can only view the destination ahead. Use this trait to make headway with a self-improvement plan.

-- Saturday, Jul 25, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Jodie Foster, Carl Sagan, Felix Grabowski, Dana Plato, Katharine Hepburn, Jaclyn Smith, Johnny Carson, Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

In the week ahead, matters of trust could come to the forefront. There is a tendency to fight unexpected changes -- even good ones.

-- Sunday, Jul 26, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Roseanne Barr, Winona Ryder, Theodore Roosevelt, Richard Dreyfuss, Weird Al Yankovic, Meg Ryan, Kate Capshaw, Jodie Foster.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Someone wants to play the field; you want white picket fences. A brief upset in your love life may result in a better understanding.

-- Monday, Jul 27, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Lyle Lovett, Johnny Carson, Emily Post, Jami Gertz, Robert Kennedy, Katharine Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Following the traditional path might not solve your unique problems. But don't yield to impulse or experimenting with new methods.

-- Tuesday, Jul 28, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Joely Fisher, Sally Field, Daisy Fuentes, Pablo Picasso, Stanford White, Will Rogers, Felix Grabowski, Bo Derek.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

"The dog ate my homework" may have worked as an excuse in third grade but it certainly won't put money in the bank account today.

-- Wednesday, Jul 29, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Calista Flockhart, Mathew McConaughey, Will Rogers, Bill Gates, Daisy Fuentes, Kate Capshaw, Dana Plato, Goldie Hawn.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You could end up in the limelight for all the wrong reasons. Stirring up a controversy could backfire and cost you brownie points.

-- Thursday, Jul 30, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Michael Landon, Felix Grabowski, Richard Dreyfuss, Goldie Hawn, Mathew McConaughey, Johnny Carson, Stanford White, Prince Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

With both money and love, you would be wise to ignore the little voice telling you that you absolutely must possess something.

-- Friday, Jul 31, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Katharine Hepburn, Pablo Picasso, Kevin Kline, Calista Flockhart, Jaclyn Smith, Jodie Foster, Roseanne Barr, Bill Gates.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You may be disappointed if you are drooling over the possibility of a hot hookup. Hold off on new romances or major purchases.

-- Saturday, Aug 01, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Courtney Thorne Smith, Julia Roberts, Sally Field, Bonnie Raitt, Calista Flockhart, Will Rogers, Kate Capshaw, Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

A friend or acquaintance may try to convince you to break with traditions this week. Keep an open mind and value the new experience.

-- Sunday, Aug 02, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Jami Gertz, Roseanne Barr, Jodie Foster, Carl Sagan, Whoopi Goldberg, Goldie Hawn, Dana Plato, Lauren Holly.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Overconfidence could be your undoing. Stay on target with tasks and don't ignore questionable activities. Take nothing for granted.

-- Monday, Aug 03, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Felix Grabowski, Michael Landon, Whoopi Goldberg, Lyle Lovett, Goldie Hawn, Roseanne Barr, Danny DeVito, Walter Cronkite.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Don't fudge your way through the job just to get it over with. Pay careful attention to every detail and leave nothing to chance.

-- Tuesday, Aug 04, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Bo Derek, Roseanne Barr, Pablo Picasso, Courtney Thorne Smith, Joely Fisher, Prince Charles, Danny DeVito, Julia Roberts.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Success in this world isn't necessary how much money you make or how much power you wield. Still, don't make new investments.

-- Wednesday, Aug 05, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Walter Cronkite, Mathew McConaughey, Weird Al Yankovic, Emily Post, Grace Kelly, Roseanne Barr, Jodie Foster, Calista Flockhart.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Having pure motives is both a creed to follow and a watermark of success. Appearing overly sentimental could disrupt a relationship.

-- Thursday, Aug 06, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
K.D. Lang, Whoopi Goldberg, Johnny Carson, Bonnie Raitt, Calista Flockhart, Jami Gertz, Kevin Kline, Pablo Picasso.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Play by the rules and don't bend them to your own advantage. Pleasantries and gallantry allow you to share the good things in life.

-- Friday, Aug 07, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Johnny Carson, Jaclyn Smith, Stanford White, Daisy Fuentes, Jenny McCarthy, Will Rogers, Carl Sagan, Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You can be the king or queen of your castle as long as you show generosity to your willing "servants." Enjoy homegrown pleasures.

-- Saturday, Aug 08, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Michael Landon, Will Rogers, Demi Moore, Kate Jackson, Jodie Foster, Rock Hudson, Winona Ryder, Bill Gates.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Pay attention to the opinions and ideas of your family during the week ahead. People judge you by the way you treat loved ones.

-- Sunday, Aug 09, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Calista Flockhart, Jaclyn Smith, Goldie Hawn, Meg Ryan, K.D. Lang, Rock Hudson, Katey Sagal, Robert Kennedy.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You want people to like you, so you go overboard to impress them. Learn when to be gregarious and when to back off.

-- Monday, Aug 10, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Theodore Roosevelt, K.D. Lang, Jami Gertz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Walter Cronkite, Bo Derek, Meg Ryan, Michael Landon.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You will shine brightest when engaged in outside activities and social events. Family members can brighten your life, too.

-- Tuesday, Aug 11, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Jenny McCarthy, K.D. Lang, Robert Kennedy, Kate Jackson, Meg Ryan, Bonnie Raitt, Roseanne Barr, Daisy Fuentes.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You need a hands-on approach so that you are intimately connected to any project you begin. You will be able to sense what is needed.

-- Wednesday, Aug 12, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Roseanne Barr, Katey Sagal, Jodie Foster, Sally Field, Bill Gates, Robert Kennedy, Katharine Hepburn, Stanford White.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

This might be a good time to bark up the right tree with a special someone. Merge your ideas with the plans of others for success.

-- Thursday, Aug 13, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Kate Lawson, Goldie Hawn, Lauren Holly, Meg Ryan, Jaclyn Smith, Will Rogers, Courtney Thorne Smith, Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Stopping to smell the roses isn't a waste of time. But you could waste money by insisting on having more roses than the other guy.

-- Friday, Aug 14, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Dana Plato, Whoopi Goldberg, Julia Roberts, Calista Flockhart, Lauren Holly, Bonnie Raitt, Kate Jackson, Carl Sagan.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

When your antenna senses insincerity, you might react by breaking away from a relationship or blowing a situation out of proportion.

-- Saturday, Aug 15, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Felix Grabowski, Prince Charles, Whoopi Goldberg, Bonnie Raitt, Weird Al Yankovic, Richard Dreyfuss, Bo Derek, Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Stopping to smell the roses isn't a waste of time. But you could waste money by insisting on having more roses than the other guy.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Life can experience a few ripples because you are determined to try something new. A special someone will kiss it and make it better.

-- Tuesday, Aug 18, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Carl Sagan, Emily Post, Bo Derek, Bill Gates, Rock Hudson, Lauren Holly, Dana Plato, Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What's the problem with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else
thinks they're jokes.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Don't challenge other people's opinions. You really can't predict what tender hidden feelings you might hurt.

-- Wednesday, Aug 19, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Danny DeVito, Prince Charles, Kate Jackson, Jaclyn Smith, Mathew McConaughey, K.D. Lang, Carl Sagan, Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

There's more to you than meets the eye. You don't need applause or a pat on the back to keep following your heart.

-- Thursday, Aug 20, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Joely Fisher, Rock Hudson, Dana Plato, Jaclyn Smith, Goldie Hawn, Jodie Foster, Demi Moore, Sally Field.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

It is always a good policy to treat those who help you along the golden road to success fairly. Never forget to show appreciation.

-- Friday, Aug 21, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Stanford White, Demi Moore, Will Rogers, Bonnie Raitt, Lauren Holly, Emily Post, Pablo Picasso, Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Someone or something doesn't fit your lifestyle. You need to accept that some relationships just need to be tried on for size.

-- Saturday, Aug 22, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Joely Fisher, Johnny Carson, Katey Sagal, Kate Jackson, K.D. Lang, Courtney Thorne Smith, Calista Flockhart, Jaclyn Smith.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Don't let passions get the best of you in the middle of the week. Beware of voicing your anger at inappropriate times.

-- Sunday, Aug 23, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Stanford White, Bo Derek, Kate Capshaw, Grace Kelly, Jenny McCarthy, Sally Field, Danny DeVito, Martin Luther.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

A grasp of business situations and fast reflexes will prevent you from floundering in the face of opposition or opposition.

-- Monday, Aug 24, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Katey Sagal, Jaclyn Smith, Walter Cronkite, Roseanne Barr, Carl Sagan, Lyle Lovett, Demi Moore, Kate Capshaw.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Unexpected phone calls may break up the monotony. It is easy to muster up the extra energy needed to tackle personal matters.

-- Tuesday, Aug 25, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Courtney Thorne Smith, Jaclyn Smith, Kate Capshaw, Lyle Lovett, Walter Cronkite, Demi Moore, Calista Flockhart, Winona Ryder.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Avoid the temptation to tie yourself down. Someone new in your life might not deserve your complete trust.

-- Wednesday, Aug 26, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Michael Landon, Danny DeVito, Will Rogers, Kate Jackson, Jaclyn Smith, Winona Ryder, Goldie Hawn, Bill Gates.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You could be asked to step up to the plate. Do your best and you'll be able to hit a home run. This is the time to show your stuff.

-- Thursday, Aug 27, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Demi Moore, Michael Landon, Whoopi Goldberg, Jodie Foster, Lauren Holly, Leonardo DiCaprio, Joely Fisher, Rock Hudson.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

The flame can't choose the moths that it attracts. In much the same way, you can't predict who will be attracted to you this weekend.

-- Friday, Aug 28, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Bo Derek, Winona Ryder, Calista Flockhart, Sally Field, Prince Charles, Walter Cronkite, Johnny Carson, Will Rogers.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

For a few hours you might doubt yourself. Keep your faith turned on "high," though, and this evening your worries will be banished.

-- Saturday, Aug 29, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Grace Kelly, Kate Capshaw, Joely Fisher, Roseanne Barr, Stanford White, Emily Post, Jaclyn Smith, Whoopi Goldberg.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You might be challenged to react to someone's impulsive actions this week. Don't risk creating a chip on someone else's shoulder.

-- Sunday, Aug 30, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Robert Kennedy, Jami Gertz, K.D. Lang, Calista Flockhart, Michael Landon, Johnny Carson, Theodore Roosevelt, Richard Dreyfuss.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Temporary uncertainties should not goad you into action. If doubts or fears surround a project then do not initiate anything new.

-- Monday, Aug 31, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Whoopi Goldberg, Katey Sagal, Walter Cronkite, Danny DeVito, Emily Post, Sally Field, Rock Hudson, Felix Grabowski.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You might get by on your personal charm and good looks. You may have better judgment than you think you do.

-- Tuesday, Sep 01, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Dana Plato, Bill Gates, Katharine Hepburn, Theodore Roosevelt, Rock Hudson, K.D. Lang, Winona Ryder, Bonnie Raitt.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

When rams fight they charge into each other, causing a head-on collision. Avoid conflicts by remaining on your own turf.

-- Wednesday, Sep 02, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Sally Field, Jenny McCarthy, Lauren Holly, Richard Dreyfuss, Kevin Kline, Stanford White, Daisy Fuentes, Grace Kelly.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Daydreaming can interfere with your productivity or jeopardize a partnership. Don't let the boss catch you playing hooky.

-- Thursday, Sep 03, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Mathew McConaughey, Daisy Fuentes, Grace Kelly, Martin Luther, Walter Cronkite, Meg Ryan, Robert Kennedy, Kevin Kline.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Your sympathy and understanding is better than a bandage if you get a chance to come to the rescue of a friend or romantic partner.

-- Friday, Sep 04, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Jaclyn Smith, Kate Jackson, Courtney Thorne Smith, Joely Fisher, Rock Hudson, Demi Moore, Will Rogers, Dana Plato.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

People may be thrown together who have little in common in the week ahead. Remain especially skeptical of gossip.

-- Sunday, Sep 06, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Joely Fisher, Stanford White, Meg Ryan, Mathew McConaughey, Goldie Hawn, Danny DeVito, Dana Plato, Felix Grabowski.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

It will be possible for others to misinterpret your words or your actions. It is best to put off important discussions and decisions.

-- Tuesday, Sep 08, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Joely Fisher, Courtney Thorne Smith, Roseanne Barr, Lauren Holly, Will Rogers, Jenny McCarthy, Whoopi Goldberg, Winona Ryder.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You may be offended if inquisitive well-wishers seem to be prying into private matters. Remember to "do unto others."

-- Wednesday, Sep 09, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Will Rogers, Katey Sagal, Dana Plato, Lauren Holly, Kate Jackson, Bill Gates, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

You may be offended if inquisitive well-wishers seem to be prying into private matters. Remember to "do unto others."

-- Wednesday, Sep 09, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Will Rogers, Katey Sagal, Dana Plato, Lauren Holly, Kate Jackson, Bill Gates, Calista Flockhart, Leonardo DiCaprio.

[teapeebubbles]

Scorpio

Never chase a mirage. It is quite easy to become passionately obsessed about obtaining something that has little value once won.

-- Thursday, Sep 10, 2009

Who else was born under Scorpio?
Mathew McConaughey, Kate Lawson, Meg Ryan, Goldie Hawn, Weird Al Yankovic, Jaclyn Smith, Jodie Foster, Katharine Hepburn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Get your priorities straight. If you work too hard, you may sacrifice valuable time that could be spent with a loved one.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Preen a little if you've made headway against the odds. Being on the cutting edge of the latest trends can improve your public image.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Old ideas may resurface for reconsideration. You might waste your time dealing with old issues in the week to come.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The rubber band can only stretch so far. Your brilliant ideas may be in direct conflict with the objectives of those in charge.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): It always pays to maintain a cool head when everyone else is hot under the collar. Steer clear of controversies and rash actions.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you face emotional tailspins, allow a team spirit prevail so that your complicated juggling act is easier to coordinate.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Now that you are aware of the limitations that hold you back, you can move into another area that fills you with confidence.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): There could be more than one seductive glance sent your way, so take the hint and follow your passion. Make good financial moves.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Part of you may fear change, but it is time to re-evaluate your ways. Listen to the advice of close friends and confidants this week.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Put the piggy bank in its pen and lock the gate. Don't let passion blind you to common sense. Forces are working behind the scenes.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Most dreams are unrealistic, but you can make some come true, especially if relying on the aid of a close friend or loved one.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You'll be at your best with a partner. Your evening will be spent in pursuit of simple entertainment and minor amusements.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you have outworn your welcome maybe it is time to move on or bow out. Love is blind, but acknowledge your faults.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Pleasing the family and pleasing the people you must work with could require juggling. There may be romantic sparks flying tonight.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You may need to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince or princess charming. Exciting outings will break up the monotony.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A long-term companion might be wildly enthusiastic and encourage your ardor, but a new hookup might seem more attractive by night.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In the week ahead your reputation may improve through the efforts of well-wishers, but there may be a price to pay.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The more you give to others, the more you are likely to receive. Sympathy and generosity are tools you can put to good use today.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Make a favorable impression on everyone you meet. Escape to a quiet place and whisper sweet nothings to a special someone.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Someone may expect a romantic remembrance. You are entering into a period of time when you feel more content than usual.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Tom Sawyer showed off his ability to whitewash a fence. Demonstrate the benefits of a job and others will compete for their turn.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You might seem like hot stuff to that certain someone. Money matters could offer surprises but will turn out well under these stars.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Ride the shirttails of a mover and shaker. Hook up with others to guarantee success in an engrossing and successful undertaking.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You could put enormous energy into a project that leads you nowhere this week unless you take the time to get the signals clear.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You can offset occasional extravagance by developing an appreciation of retro fashions. Try to be more resourceful and recycle.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Speak softly and carry a big stick. Convince others of the value of your ideas and they will follow you anywhere.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): It is OK to share your ideas with others. Being obsessed by a notion does not mean you possess it or that it possesses you.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Being sociable and affable can win friends and influence people but don't overlook financial obligations. Pay bills on time.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your cup runneth over with sex appeal, and you aren't afraid to show it. You can conquer any obstacle and overcome any objections.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If the way to someone's heart is through the stomach, it is probably wise to cook up a good meal. Try a romantic candlelit dinner.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You may be doubtful about attaining your goals, but tenacity will pay off as this week unfolds. Don't be bashful.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Pay attention to advice and local gossip. You learn something that will throw up a red flag well in advance of a problem.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Simplify the complex. You may need to distill intricate matters down to their essential qualities, like fine perfume.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You might feel that you are spinning your wheels in some area of your life. Don't be discouraged by temporary setbacks.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Be a wise old owl. Plan to reevaluate significant projects, agreements, and ideas and avoid taking impulsive action right now.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When you focus on business, the business world focuses on you. People sit up and take notice when you make comments.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You may focus all your energy on making a dream come true. Begin a significant project today and your dedication will never fail.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Carry a fan and keep your cool. In the week to come it may be tempting to get hot under the collar.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A celestial logjam could be building -- but if you remain agile you can successfully navigate through tight situations.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Generous gifts may break up an impasse. Don't force issues; insist on cooperation and compromise.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You need to finish up what is already begun. Starting anything of great importance now could land you waist deep in complications.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Boost your reputation by showing others that you are committed to helping them achieve their happiness or success.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Listen for things that go bump in the night. The stars are aligned perfectly for wearing exotic costumes and seeing alien creatures.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): There is no reason to hide your desires. You may play the part of a passionate plaything or act like an ardent artist of amore.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Old friends are like an old pair of shoes; they are comfortable, but often you are careless with them.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You can do one thing well or several things poorly. Don't let your time or emotions become scattered in different directions.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): There is a time and place for everything. Now is not the time to try and plant the seeds of your future financial security.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Putting off until tomorrow what you can do today merely creates that much more work piling up on your desk to deal with.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Retain your objectivity; don't become involved in petty squabbles. Disputes will resolve themselves quickly if you remain neutral.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Realize that a conflict may be caused by emotional stress. Try to put your differences aside to achieve a mutual goal.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Never ask a barber if you need a haircut. Sidewalk wisdom might make sense to you in the week to come.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Those you love may seem stiff and distant, making you wonder if your hard work is appreciated. Keep a stopper in the piggy bank.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Engaging in an argument now can reflect badly on you or put you in a compromising position. Pay attention to your appearance.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you are the apprentice long enough eventually you become the master. All your hard work and determination will pay off.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): This is a good time to appear in public. But if you try something different, you are sure to run into opposition from someone.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Swallow your pride. A bit of disillusionment on the home front may cause you to come down hard on yourself.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Caged birds fly away once the door is open. Take any opportunity to escape from the confines of dull routine or everyday habits.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When you come to a fork in the road you have a 50/50 chance of choosing the wrong direction. Make sure you have a clear picture.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): One swallow doesn't make a summer. Today's new moon could very well mark the beginning of a month of confusion.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you are loving and kind to that very special person in your life you will come to a deeper understanding of the facts.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your closest companions probably will have their noses to the grindstone -- and will be unlikely to want to deal with slackers.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Although the chase can be exciting, all the fun lies in being caught. Romantic fantasies might dance in your head today.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You have the ability to put a romantic spin on just about anything you do. Someone close may be in the mood for an elegant dinner.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Family matters may come to a head as you realize that home is truly where your heart is. Appreciate the special people in your life.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your thorniest problem in the week ahead might be how to grab an extra piece of pumpkin pie. You could be smothered by invitations.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A shared interest or passion could be the medium that puts you in touch with new people and potential friends through meetings.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Trust or consequences. Don't push the envelope today. An effort to reinforce emotional security might come at too high a price.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Keep one foot firmly rooted in tradition while experimenting with new technologies and the latest developments.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Involve your loved ones in your business. This could be a good time to give thanks for the people you can trust and rely upon.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You are at your best when you work with others or have a congenial sidekick who tags along. A secret admirer might show up.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You may experience a few revelations that inspire you to go forward with more enthusiasm than usual. Take time for much-needed rest.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The greatest victory is the victory over oneself. You may successfully fight off a tendency to be insincere in the week to come.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Left-brain dominant people dominate. People with a developed sense of logic will thrive under these cosmic conditions.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You can hit the target if you concentrate. Keep in touch with friends as they can keep you on track with earthly pleasures.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When someone reacts to you, you see a reflection of how others perceive you. Remember to be kind and generous to yourself, too.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You might be feeling your oats today and could be surprised by some boy-girl chemistry in unlikely settings.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your business judgment is better than usual and you can count on family being there to help you with wise advice or solid support.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Put pride on parade. Get involved in something that brings a smile to your face, lets your creativity shine, or widens your horizons.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You can quit dodging bullets but that doesn't mean someone still isn't shooting. Wait until Tuesday to go shopping.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Add one and one together to make a more productive two. As a team player you could have a chance to reap the benefits.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Promises made under these stars are likely to be kept. Make a pledge of your heart or sign on the dotted line without fear.

[teapeebubbles]

2010 Scorpio Snapshot

Shake Hands with Lady Luck

Have you always thought of yourself as a lucky person, Scorpio? No matter how lucky you've been in the past, 2010 is likely to be a very lucky year for you. You may not win the lottery or find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but things will start happening for you. Astrologically, the reason for this would be the passage of Uranus, planet of luck, through Pisces, which is a Water Sign like Scorpio. Romance could come your way from an unexpected source. One more very pleasant surprise could appear in November, right before the holiday season. This could involve love, money, or a totally different department of life, but remember that getting out and enjoying life is vital if you want to generate luck.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): As you know, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. You can lure someone closer and share your dreams.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don't wear out your credit card by overworking it at the checkout counter, but you can probably enjoy at least one treat today.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The knick-knacks and doodads you accumulate are fun to gather, but you could regret reckless spending. Hold off on major purchases.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): With the moon in your sign today you might be fascinated by mysteries or obsessed by getting all the facts.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don't jump to conclusions. You might be tempted to make up your mind on an issue before all the facts are revealed.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You will not be distracted once you become engrossed in a subject. Your perseverance may yield dividends in the near future.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A chance meeting with a new acquaintance could provide you with new insights as to the inner workings of the world.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Keep your pennies in the piggy bank. Attractive business ideas may draw your interest but don't gamble away your earnings.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): It is not your concern whether others act in the manner that you think appropriate -- so there is no need to offer criticisms.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Act like King Solomon and do what is best for all concerned. Create a win-win situation for all parties and show no favoritism.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your piggy bank is fat, so there is no reason to be stingy. Share the wealth with those who truly need it this holiday season.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The story of the princess and the pea reminds you that it isn't wise to be sensitive to small irritations in the midst of plenty.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Relationships benefit if you pay attention to the feelings of others and wait for the best opportunity to make your words heard.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Secrecy is golden. This is the week when keeping secrets can result in a happy surprise for someone near and dear.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Add extra touches to build fond memories. The perfect last-minute gift might be something with new age flavor or the latest gadget.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): That special someone may have you humming a joyous Christmas carol. You may not think alike, but you can accept each other's views.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Beneath the surface, even the biggest Scrooge has been waiting for presents with childlike glee. Enjoy a relaxing holiday.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Refuse to make judgments. Sometimes you feel you must defend your beliefs, but the challenges faced today will blow over quickly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You may find yourself flustered by a social stalemate. Wait until after the new year to make significant decisions of any kind.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Caution or hesitation might be a good idea. You might be operating with virtual blinders and unaware of some limitations.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Love begins in the mind, so whisper sweet nothings in someone's ear as it might lead to sweet somethings later this evening.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A short work week might have you at your wits end but a day of relaxation will help you regain focus and move forward.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Get ready to go out on the town. You are in good standing with your loved ones or to mingle with new friends.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Take things one step at a time. Take care of the small things and the big things will take care of themselves.

[teapeebubbles]

2010 Scorpio Snapshot

Shake Hands with Lady Luck
Have you always thought of yourself as a lucky person, Scorpio? No matter how lucky you've been in the past, 2010 is likely to be a very lucky year for you. You may not win the lottery or find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but things will start happening for you. Astrologically, the reason for this would be the passage of Uranus, planet of luck, through Pisces, which is a Water Sign like Scorpio. Romance could come your way from an unexpected source. One more very pleasant surprise could appear in November, right before the holiday season. This could involve love, money, or a totally different department of life, but remember that getting out and enjoying life is vital if you want to generate luck.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Communicate. If you rely on secrecy or refuse to share your thoughts, you might leave someone with the wrong impression.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): This week, you should be grounded in actuality, even if you must create it from scratch. Don't be overly impressed by others.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You're liable to act impulsively and think you've thought things through. That approach works for romance, but not business.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You may bear a grudge even when there is nothing from the past to merit one. Try to keep your emotions in check today.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You could be anxious to make a fast break from a business situation. The problem is that you could break the bank doing this.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You might be fascinated by someone with a magnetic appearance. By being diplomatic today you can get your way.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You can win someone's devotion and heart if you play your cards right this evening. A new friend may provide an introduction.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Keep your money in your pocket and hide the key to the safe deposit box. Giving in today can cause complications tomorrow.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23- Nov. 21): Find the balance between conflicting priorities. Your enthusiasms may be set aflame if you sense progress is passing you by.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Go green and grow the green, too. The desire for change requires a philosophical shift.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When you are concentrating on being businesslike and professional, you might fail to respond appropriately to a personal overture.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Set a tone of friendly cooperation. You can make major strides in the business world by adding your know-how to the mix.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): This is a good time to begin anything that depends on technology or popularity. Under these stars, you draw success closer.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Right now your latest playmate could appear overly reserved or may expect you to follow the rules. Patience may be rewarded.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Tame your impulses. If you try to do everything all at once, you likely to find that you do nothing well at all.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Sacrifice may mean surrender. In the week to come, you might lose some gains unless you come up with alternative solutions.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you make someone think you are better than you really are, enticing chemistry can become toxic instead of intoxicating.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Rein in your enthusiasm for a new companion or hookup. In your eagerness to get closer, you might step on toes or offend associates.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Close the book of Shakespeare and face reality when dealing with members of the opposite sex. "Romeo and Juliet" didn't end happly.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you are completely absorbed by a crucial project or business venture, your loved ones might feel left out in the cold.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Extra competition may get the heart racing and palms sweaty, but that doesn't mean a new romance is on the horizon.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Plan strategies in private. A few doubts or worries can actually make you hone your battle plan for success to a sharper point.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Keep a positive attitude and you'll be drawn away for a period of fun and games this week. A special someone will brighten your day.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Past digressions are easily forgiven. Consider the needs of others above your own. Don't hesitate to spend to get the best value.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you don't make any calls, you won't make any sales. In love, push and use a hard sell to make the deal go through.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The work may seem tedious and endless, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You'll get nowhere if you expect a free ride.

[teapeebubbles]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don't give away your heart or money. What seems glamorous on the outside is a different story beneath the surface.