Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

[SkeBallLarry]

" All good one, SNStuff " .. !!

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Subtle ways of letting someone know their fly is open…

The cucumber has left the salad.
I can see the gun of Navarone.
Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
You’ve got Windows in your laptop.
Sailor Ned’s trying to take a little shore leave.
Your soldier ain’t so unknown now.
Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.
Paging Mr. Johnson… Paging Mr. Johnson…
You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
Dr. Kimble has escaped!
You’ve got your fly set for Monica instead of Hillary.
Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction…
You’ve got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
I’m talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
I thought you were crazy; now I see your nuts.

[getmoreshares]

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL good ones!

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

:Me ( to doctor ):
"Doc, I get a nasty reaction after applying the hemorrhoid cream you prescribed me."
Doctor: "Where did you apply it ?"
Me: "On the bus."

Me ( to priest ):
"Father, I sinned with a 16-year-old girl."
Priest: "Squeeze 16 lemons and drink the juice."
Me: "Will that free me from sin ?"
Priest: "No, but it will wipe that shit-eatin' grin off your face."

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust."

I have gotten that dreaded "furniture disease." My chest is falling into my drawers!

I know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . .write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me... they are cramming for finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

[getmoreshares]

GOOD ONES

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Right after we got married, my wife told me I was her 32nd lover.............................
then I found out she meant thirty- second lover.

Wife walks up to her Husband and asks "Do I look fat in this dress??"
Husband: "Before I say anything,,, you gotta promise, no matter WHAT I say.... You won't get mad.."
Wife: "Ok.. I promise."
Husband: "I slept with your sister."

"A perfect parent is a person with excellent
child-rearing theories and no actual children."

Salesman: “ This van will sleep four people without any problems.”
Me: “I don’t know four people without any problems.”

Well, I paid my rent last week...
Now I have a place to starve.

“Before you marry a person, you should first make
them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”

We don't really get smarter as we get older...
We just run out of stupid things to say and do.

An Afghanistan diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The diplomat was not used to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies, etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.
Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty handed. "Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?" demanded the diplomat.
"A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One," stammered the wretched Abdul, "But a man is sitting on the well!"

Whenever someone cuts me off in traffic I never get mad or retaliate.
I just call 911, give them the location and license plate,
and tell them I think someone is in the trunk being kidnapped.

Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company where I work. So I'm constantly preaching caution to the workers I supervise.
"Does anyone know," I asked a few guys, "what the speed limit is in our parking lot?"
The long silence that followed was interrupted when one of them piped up. "That depends. Do you mean coming to work or leaving?"

Bernard, who was noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty-four a.m. by his ringing telephone.
"Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice.
Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.
The next morning at precisely four forty-four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back.
"Good morning, Mr. Williams. I just called to say that I don't *have* a dog."

I think my urologist hates me.
Last time I saw him he gave me the finger.

What is the best way to quit being a vegan?
Cold turkey.

Hardest part of Cloning sheep
Staying awake while you're doing inventory..

I asked my girlfriend how she could be so beautiful, and so stupid.
She said God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me,
and God made me stupid so I'd be attracted to you.

The reason some politicians like to stand on
their record is to keep voters from examining it.

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

A gynecologist had become fed up
with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and become a mechanic.

He found out from the local technical college what was involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I was wondering if there had been an error which needed adjusting."

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

The instructor went on to say, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler."

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

In the early 20th Century,

Thomas Edison was spreading the word about electricity.

Once, while vacationing out West, he stopped at the Sioux reservation. Edison was shocked to learn that there was no indoor plumbing, and that he would have to use an outhouse. In fact, he was told, the Sioux had to use the outhouse regardless of the weather.

To help the Sioux, Edison installed lights in the outhouse. With this kind act, he became the first person to wire a head for a reservation!

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Don't forget to wear open-toed sandals on Monday
So you can watch the eclipse in toe-tality.

Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.

Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

Not to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, right now you’re thinking, “It’s psychic, you idiot.”

I’ve just opened an Elvis Presley themed steak house...
It’s aimed at people who love meat tender.

Why are there no boy scout cookies?
Because boy scouts are only interested in eating brownies.

The other day I was in Starbucks.
There was a guy sitting at a table just drinking coffee.
No laptop, no smartphone, nothing. Just sitting there drinking coffee like some psychopath.

Condoms don't always guarantee safe sex.
A buddy of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

My wife's doctor told her he wanted to test her for vulvar cancer.
She informed him that not only do we not have a Swedish car, she had never even been in one.

We don't need her Saab story.

What we need is new national speed limits,
They should be individualized and based on age. The new limit on open highways would be your age,
You young fokes get out of the way, cause us old fokes don't have that much time left to get where we want to go. ...

To ride a horse or not to ride a horse.
That is equestrian.

Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me about the long delay she always endured.
One day, when my aunt's name was finally called, she was asked to step on the scale. "I need to get your weight today," said the nurse.
Without a moment's hesitation, my aunt replied, "One hour and 45 minutes!"

When my wife had to rush to the hospital unexpectedly, she asked me to bring her a few items from home. One item on her list was "comfortable underwear."
Not sure what she considered comfortable, I asked, "How will I know which ones to pick?"
"Hold them up and imagine them on me," she answered. "If you smile, put them back."

The only people who get a paycheck
and work less days per year than teachers....are members of Congress.

A teenager who had just received her learner's permit offered to drive her parents to church. A
fter a hair-raising ride, they finally reached their destination.
The mother got out of the car and said, "Thank you!"
"Anytime," her daughter replied.
As the woman slammed the door, she said, "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to God."

Ran out of toilet paper and having to use lettuce leaves.
Today was the tip of the iceberg.

Today I learned that the Pentagon was supposed to be the Octagon.
But the contractor kept cutting corners.

What's a three letter word that starts with gas?

Most forgiving celebrity: Dolly Pardon

My primary doctor recommended I see a functional neuropathist.
I said, "Well, I hope so.............why would I want to see a non-functional one ?

As I left the grocery store, I noticed two little kids, maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front of the store to raise money for their school band.
"I'll buy a chocolate bar on one condition," I said to the boys. "You eat it for me."
I bought one and handed the candy back to one of the boys. He shook his head. "I can't," he said.
"Why not?"
Looking me in the eye, he responded gravely, "I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers."

Do you love me?
Of course!
Then whisper something soft and sweet in my ear.
Lemon meringue pie!

I may be old, but............................
..............I got to see the world before it went to shit.

My Irish friend likes to show off on
St. Patrick's Day. He plays his bragpipes.

What did the lovesick bull say to the cow ?
"When I fall in love, it will be forheifer." ( sorry )

Mom used to feed me yeast and put me in the oven
That's just how I was raised.

An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90 year old man
When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset.
"What happened, mother?" the daughter asked.
"I had to slap his face three times!"
"You mean he got fresh?"
"No," she answered. "I had to wake him up. I thought he was dead!"

Hey y’all, I just talked to Bill Bailey.
He’s not coming home.

So I just checked my home insurance policy and apparently
if my blanket is stolen in the middle of the night, I won’t be covered.

My half-brother and I aren’t allowed to play with chainsaws anymore.

Why don’t Native Americans like April?
Because April showers bring May Flowers, and Mayflowers bring white people.

It always irked my mother that her grocery store didn’t carry eggs in packages of six—just by the dozen.
Then one day, her wish came true. She walked into the grocery and found fresh eggs in cartons of six!
She was so excited, she bought two.

I've spent a lot of time lately contemplating... oral hygiene
I consider myself a flosserpher.

[Giovanni]

Nervous Penthouse Dwellers


insert-text-here

[Giovanni]

I asked my wife "what women really want"

She said "a tent of lovers". Or perhaps it was attentive lovers---
I wasn't really listening

[getmoreshares]

LOL!!!!!

[Giovanni]

An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, "That's about average up our way, folks... like I said my boy's a typical County Clare baby boy."
Two weeks later the man returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, aren't you the father of that typical Irish baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks... so how much does he weigh now?
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? You said he was 25 pounds the day he was born.”
The father takes a slow swig of his Jameson Irish Whiskey, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,"Had him circumcised."

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

A stock market crash is worse than a divorce.
You lose half your money and your wife is still around.

Some of us learn from the mistakes of others.
The rest of us have to be the others.

Night sweats and hot flashes are nature's way of lowering your heating bill
so you can save more money for your retirement.

A woman asked me if I liked thighs or breast?
Apparently a shaved vagina was not an appropriate answer at KFC.

The best thing about KFC:
After you finish your meal, there's a greasy box to put your bone in.

I was having sex with the neighbor lady while my wife was out of town.
She was on top of me humping away while I was looking at the mirror above the bed.
Just then my wife unexpectedly walked in the bedroom. I said. "I know what this looks like."

I recently purchased a toilet brush. Long story short, I'm going back to toilet paper.

I bought my wife a toilet plunger.
She always loved bringing up old shit.

The difference between my girl friend's legs and Covid is, I don't want Covid to spread.

"Talk dirty to me," she begged.
Me: "OK.....................Volkswagen diesel."

[pos_stock_hoarder]

[getmoreshares]

slow at times- they may be working on it

[Gmenfan]

Still painfully slow.

[getmoreshares]

far side- good today- its in the sticky

[getmoreshares]

very slow now- was not working at all this morning

[Giovanni]

This site is not working correctly

I posted the preceding once

[Giovanni]

insert-text-here

[Giovanni]

insert-text-here

[Giovanni]

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[getmoreshares]

This is what the Italians think of Biden. pic.twitter.com/bh2E5nfoNP

— Ian Miles Cheong (@stillgray) February 27, 2024

[Giovanni]

insert-text-here

[getmoreshares]

OH MY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Trinityz1]

this is what someone else put up in response to my other joke

a girl talking to her father asked if she could use the truck tonight, the father said yes you know the drill, she unzips his fly pulls out his pecker and starts sucking, she stops and looks up at him and says "this taste like shit" he replies oh right sorry your brother has the truck tonight

[Giovanni]

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.

Michael O'Connor looks around and asks, 'Oh, my boys, someone got to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?'

They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

'Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me'

Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers, and asks what he wants.

Gallagher declares, 'Your husband just lost $500, and is afraid to come home.'

'Tell him to drop dead!', says Murphy's wife.

'I'll go tell him.' says Gallagher.

[pos_stock_hoarder]

Please delete.

[getmoreshares]

LOL

[pos_stock_hoarder]

It reminded me of this old sickie.....

The Appalacian Way

Then it’s settled. You’re to be married next month.

But Pa, I don’t want to marry my sister!

Who do you think you are young man?! It was good enough for me and your ma and it’ll be good enough for you!

[pos_stock_hoarder]

Wow! That's a sick one!

You know what I'm going to do about?

I'm going to forward it to more sickos like us! LOL!

[getmoreshares]

THAT IS SICK- I loved it!

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

It happened in Alabama...

A boy and a girl were walking through the woods when the boy said, “If you weren’t my sister, I’d hold your hand.”
She answered, “If you weren’t my brother, I’d let you.”
They agreed to pretend and walked on holding hands.
After a while, they stop and the boy says, “If you weren’t my sister, I’d kiss you.”
She answered, “If you weren’t my brother, I’d let you.”
They agreed to pretend and kissed.
After a while, the boy says, “If you weren’t my sister, I’d screw you.”
She answered, “If you weren’t my brother, I’d let you.”
They agree to pretend and went behind a tree.
They were screwing and the boy said, “You screw just like Mommy.”
She answered, “That’s what Daddy said.”

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

A guide is showing a Texan the Niagara Falls. "I'll bet you don't have anything like that in Texas!"
"Nope, I reckon we don't," said the Texan. "But we've got plumbers who could fix it."

My last words shall be, 'The money is buried next to the large
uuh, ooomph, schnnixxxx, umph, eeeeeh,,,, .'
Get the grand kids off those damn cell phones.

I got a crappy birthday present.......
A dictionary with the front and back pages missing.
Things just went from Bad to Worse.

I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me as he was dying.
It seemed very important to him that I have it.

I told a joke on a Zoom meeting for work.......
Nobody laughed.
Turns out, I'm not even remotely funny.

I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives 90 miles away.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.

A midget friend just told me he was gay.
He finally came out of the cabinet.

Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

Wizard of Oz...is 85 years old.
Today, if Dorothy were to encounter men with no brains, no hearts, and no courage, she wouldn't be in Oz.
She'd be in Congress!

Why is bread like the Sun?
It rises in the yeast and sets in the Waist.

What is the penalty for bigamy? Two mother's in law.

I don't understand your specific kind of stupid,
But I do admire your total commitment to it.

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

What's Amore...

When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie,
That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand
And that's not what you planned,
That's a moray.

When our habits are strange
And our customs deranged,
That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw
And the bales total four,
That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife
She gets stabbed with a knife,
That's a Moor, eh?

[Trinityz1]

good one!

[getmoreshares]

shared that one!!! LOL

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

A bakery owner...
...hired a young female shop assistant who liked to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a man entered the bakery, glanced at the young shop assistant, then at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he had a brilliant idea and said, "I'd like some raisin bread please."

The shop assistant nods and climbs up a ladder to get a loaf of raisin bread located on the very top shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath her, was provided with an excellent view, just as he had imagined. When she descended the ladder, the man decided that he might as well get two loaves of raisin bread. As the shop assistant retrieved the second loaf, one of the other male customers noticed what was going on and requested his own loaf of raisin bread, followed by several other men asking for raisin bread.

After many trips up and down the ladder the girl was tired and irritated, and began wondering why the unusual interest in the raisin bread. At the top of the ladder one more time, she looked down and glared at the men standing below. Then she noticed an elderly man standing amongst the crowd and, thinking that she could save herself another trip, yelled at him, "Is it raisin for you too?"

The old gentleman cleared his throat and replied, "No, but it is quivering a little."

[getmoreshares]

LOL! good ones

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Feb 15th is my Valentines Day because
I get to spend that day with my true love:
Discount chocolate!

Alimony: The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

A recent study....
...showed that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are cheating.
Now I've just got to figure out if it's my wife or my girlfriend.

It's been said that hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?

A younger colleague asked what it's like getting old.
I told her: "Imagine every day is Monday..."

The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased with his meal that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.
"Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there."
"Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic cheese... ours is imported!"

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

I went into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there's a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates. Then the priest comes in. I say to him, "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
He replied: “Get out ... You're on my side."

A married couple in the Midwest were fast asleep when the phone rang...
The husband picks up the receiver... and after a few moments he yells into the phone...
"How the hell should I know...! That's over a thousand miles away..."
Then he slams down the phone... And, of course, this wakes up the wife...
In a sleepy voice she asks... "Who was on the phone...?"
In a grumbling tone, the husband replies...
"I have no idea... but It was someone asking if the coast was clear..."

I recently entered a competition to see who had gained the most weight and lost the most hair.
Obviously, it wasn’t called that.
It was advertised as a "School Reunion..."

I've sure gotten old!
I have outlived my feet and my teeth. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

I found a used football in a second hand store..
I picked it up and took it to the counter.
"How much is this?" I asked
"That'll be $5" said the owner. "Would you like me to pump it up for you?"
"Of course, thanks a lot!" I replied.
So, he got a small pump from under the counter and in a few seconds the ball was as good as new.
"Ok, all done" he said. "That'll be $10 please".
"$10!!!??!!" I replied. "But you said $5 just now".
He looked up and said "Sorry. Inflation".

[Giovanni]

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[Buckey]

not to be discussed here. Take the politics somewhere else please

[Giovanni]

Buckey

That is the joke this country has become

laugh or cry

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/64/89/6b/64896ba04f51434319ac35c31a04d768.jpg"; alt="Dirty Joke JESUS CHRIST | Dirty jokes, Sarcastic quotes funny, Rude jokes"/>" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" >insert-text-here

[Buckey]

Its a joke board. Is there a joke in there or some political rant of which I am sure there are 100 other places to post that.

Thanks

[getmoreshares]

GROANER TIME https://twitter.com/JacquelineRLine/status/1756503377393979707

[Giovanni]

It never fails.

Whenever the cackling hens of Boston’s state-run media start slobbering over some left-wing female, it’s only a matter of time until their latest crush gets jammed up.

Monica Cannon-Grant.

Rachael Rollins.

Dianne Wilkerson.

Kendra Lara.


And now it’s happened again, right on schedule. This time it’s that terrorist teenybopper from Cambridge by the name of Calla Mairead Walsh.

At age 19, Comrade Calla has had gushing profiles written about her in all the usual Democrat religious tracts – the Boston Globe, the New York Times and Boston Magazine.


Now the red-diaper doper baby is charged with riot, sabotage, criminal mischief and trespass and disorderly conduct after trashing a building owned by an Israeli company in Merrimack, N.H.

She was arrested with two other homely young ladies, and her bail was set at $20,000.

The building’s windows were smashed, and spray-painted on the walls was “Free Gaza” and “Genocide Profiteers.” Cops found an “incendiary device.”

It was Walsh’s second arrest since Oct. 30 in support of the genocidal Muslim terrorists who espouse the final solution against Jews. Last month, at another Hitler Youth riot, she was arrested by a “Cambridge pig,” as she called a cop.

Walsh is involved in the “Boston Mapping Project,” which features an interactive map locating Jewish community locations, including day care centers and schools. You know, the kind of places where Walsh’s Muslim comrades like to slaughter innocents.

As Rep. Jake Auchincloss said of Calla Walsh’s handiwork, “This is just chilling to me. It is tapping in millennia-old anti-Semitic tropes about nefarious Jewish wealth, control, conspiracy, media connections and political string-pulling.”

Media connections? In the alt-left media, Calla Walsh has long been the toast of the town, Mother Jones with a learner’s permit.

New York Times: “(Walsh is) representative of an influential new force in Democratic politics.”

Yeah, I guess that’s one way to put it. Just like Adolf Hitler was once representative of an influential new force in Weimar Republic politics.

Boston magazine swoons over her almost as much as they do over indicted race hustler Monica Cannon-Grant:

“Dressed today in a pink T-shirt and Mom jeans, with another headband in her hair, she is, in person, a fascinating blend of idealistic teenager and seasoned political pro… Walsh, who has shoulder-length blond hair and is wearing a gold headband and dark eyeliner….”

And some people still wonder why magazines have pretty much gone out of business.

Speaking of which, she seems to have written some columns for Teen Vogue, which until 2017 was a magazine and is now a blog. In Teen Vogue, she writes about authoritarian mass murderers a lot, about makeup tips and fashion accessories, not so much.

The failing Globe loves Comrade Calla almost as much as the failing magazines:

“At 17, Calla Walsh is already a force in the world of climate activism…. Walsh is striking example of the influence youth can exert over environmental policy.”

That mash note was written in 2021. A year later, the Globe was back at it, with a story that begins:

“Calla Walsh, a high school senior, grew outraged Tuesday morning….”

I’m guessing Calla grows outraged just about every single morning, as soon as she wakes up.

In 2020, she worked for both Sens. Elizabeth Warren and Fast Eddie Markey. She even had her picture taken with the fake Indian. But then, so did jailbird girlfriend-kidnapper Carlos Henriquez.

Calla’s dad is a liberal-arts professor at BU because of course he is. What is it with these uber-privileged, unattractive local women from upscale suburbs with college professor dads?

Like convicted felon Caroline Ellison, the sticky-fingered girlfriend of fraudster Samuel Bankman-Fried, himself the offspring of pablum-puking pinko college professors.

Caroline’s dad is an MIT prof. She’s from Newton. She ratted out her ex-main squeeze, so she probably won’t do serious time.

Beautiful People never do. Remember Charles Lieber – “Professor Pumpkin” at Harvard, whom the Red Chinese paid $1 million to (in a bank account in Wuhan) in return for services rendered? He did no jail time because… Democrats.

Nor will Calla, most likely. After all, she told Boston magazine, “I don’t believe in policing or prisons.”

Most criminals don’t.

It’s odd, though, the ideological journey of these Nazis of Harvard Square. She supposedly began her political odyssey in a local Cambridge campaign to protect transgenders.

Now her soulmates are savage Muslim terrorists like Hamas, ISIS, the Taliban and the mullahs. Wonder how the teenybopper terrorist’s transgender brothers, er sisters, er never mind, would fare if her new comrades took over the world.

Of course she hates the American flag: “It still symbolizes the genocide and slavery the country was founded on.”

The rainbow flag? I’ll bet she’s got a matching pair. Just don’t go waving it around Kabul or Tehran, sweety.

According to her assorted hagiographies, another of La Walsh’s early campaigns involved Boston city councilor at large (in more ways than one) Julia Mejia. Comrade Calla handled her “social media.” So maybe she had something to do with Julia’s greatest YouTube hit, where she uttered these immortal words:

“For those who are wondering if I am using drugs, answer is absolutely not!”

I wonder which radical woman Calla likes to model herself after. Mother Jones, maybe. Certainly not Rosa Luxemburg – she was Jewish, after all.

As Boston magazine gushed, “Walsh’s pose and political precociousness are not necessarily surprising.”

And neither is the local sob sisters’ falling in love with yet another stone-cold corrupt leftist criminal.

Monica Cannon-Grant and Rachael Rollins could not be reached for comment.

(Order Howie’s new book, “Paper Boy: Read All About It!” at howiecarrshow.com or amazon.com.)

[getmoreshares]

A man walked into a store and told the cashier, "I’d like a hamburger and and a scoop of ice cream."

The clerk looked at him and said, "Are you an American?"

The man, clearly offended, said, "Well yes I am."

But let me ask you something.

If I had asked for fried chicken and watermelon, would you ask me if I was black?

Or if I had asked for a cheese crisp would you ask me if I was Mexican?

The clerk said, "Well, no, I guess not."

"Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m an American just because I asked for a hamburger and a scoop of ice cream?"

The clerk replied, "Because this is Home Depot Mr. President."

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

A man was in bed with a young woman he had just met earlier in a bar. After they had done their business, and as they snuggled, he asked her "So, am I the first man you made love to?"
Squinting and focusing, she said, "Maybe, your face looks a little familiar."

My wife minored in psychology.
She's always using all her amateur psychology when we argue.
When I fired the pool boy, she said, "Well, you know, you're only firing him because he's so young and good looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you're projecting all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way, because these feelings are just too traumatic for you to deal with."
"Yeah, I may be insecure, but we don't have a pool."

I joined an over-60 basketball league. We don't have jump balls.
The ref just puts the ball on the floor and whoever can bend down to pick it up gets possession.
I gave new meaning to the word "dribble."