A guide is showing a Texan the Niagara Falls. "I'll bet you don't have anything like that in Texas!"
"Nope, I reckon we don't," said the Texan. "But we've got plumbers who could fix it."
My last words shall be, 'The money is buried next to the large
uuh, ooomph, schnnixxxx, umph, eeeeeh,,,, .'
Get the grand kids off those damn cell phones.
I got a crappy birthday present.......
A dictionary with the front and back pages missing.
Things just went from Bad to Worse.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me as he was dying.
It seemed very important to him that I have it.
I told a joke on a Zoom meeting for work.......
Nobody laughed.
Turns out, I'm not even remotely funny.
I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives 90 miles away.
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.
A midget friend just told me he was gay.
He finally came out of the cabinet.
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
Wizard of Oz...is 85 years old.
Today, if Dorothy were to encounter men with no brains, no hearts, and no courage, she wouldn't be in Oz.
She'd be in Congress!
Why is bread like the Sun?
It rises in the yeast and sets in the Waist.
What is the penalty for bigamy? Two mother's in law.
I don't understand your specific kind of stupid,
But I do admire your total commitment to it.
AI
