5/20/2011 Note From Admin:
"if you have to alter the picture in any way - it's not acceptable" This means no Dots or Boxes!
No nipple shots, whether from the side or through a see-through bikini or t-shirt!
NO EXCEPTIONS - No pubic hair at all, and no private parts whatsoever! That means no partial or through see-through material eather.
Most Importantly...
This Board is created for the use of MEN only, All girls will be banned (except our hostess Tina Marie). This board will be used to discuss MEN's issues.
You can talk about your spouse or significant other... you can talk about your kids.... you can talk about your pets... you can talk about anything you want and know that nobody gives a crap!
WE HAVE OUR VERY OWN HOLIDAY! Good to be a Man Day!!! http://www.steakandbj.com/v2/
THE MAN CODE
1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat"
2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed
and beaten by his fellow partygoers.
4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father,
priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should
not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You
are permitted to deny his very existence.
5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a
friend out of jail within 12 hours.
6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without
recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call
BULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable
exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)
7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits
forever.
8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's
running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes
for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.
9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is
forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In
fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional and
slightly gay.
11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is
trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with
your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden
to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.
12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission
and he in return is required to grant it.
13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a
buffalo wing clean.
14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem, you didn't see nothin'.
15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.
16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.
17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always
ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend
up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to
warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the
priesthood.
19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless
supermodel... and it's free.
20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain
sober enough to fight.
22. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must
jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions
have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then
you may sit back and enjoy.
23. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers."
"Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"
24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,
but not both. That's just plain mean.
25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to
his beer.
26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's
withholding sex pending your response.
27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing:
either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a
nod is all the conversation you need.
28. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not,
unless you are gay.
The time has finally come......
MEN STRIKE BACK! ! ! ! ! !
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman. Boy ain't this the truth!
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle the truth.
WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE.......
* Your last name stays put.
* The garage is all yours.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* You can be president.
* You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
* You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* The world is your urinal.
* You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
* You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
* Same work, more pay.
* Wrinkles add character.
* Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
* People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
* The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
* One mood, ALL the time.
* Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
* You know stuff about tanks.
* A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
* You can open all your own jars.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
* Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You almost never have strap problems in public.
* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
* Everything on your face stays its original colour.
* The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
* You only have to shave your face and neck.
* You can play with toys all your life.
* Your belly usually hides your big hips.
* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons. * You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
* You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.
* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
* You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!
