Replies to post #32705 on Ihubber's FUN House (FUNHouse)

[cavan]

Police Officer O'Leary is cruising around in his patrol
car one night. He's on the lookout for trouble. He sees
two little old ladies in the front seat of a Chevrolet
convertible, parked in a used car lot.
The car lot is closed so O'Leary drives up alongside
the Chevy and asks, "Are you two ladies trying to
steal this car?"

"Certainly not," says one of the ladies, "we purchased
the car this afternoon."

"Well," says the cop, "why don't you start it up and
drive out of here?"

"Oh, we don't drive," replies the other little old lady.
"And besides we are waiting."

"What on Earth are you waiting for?" asked the cop.

The old lady sitting in the drivers seat replies," We
were told that if we ever bought a car from here
we would get screwed."

[teapeebubbles]

Some interesting but useless things to think about, lol.....
>
> It is impossible to lick your elbow.
>
> A crocodile can't stick it's tongue out.
>
> A shrimp's heart is in their head.
>
> People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when
> you sneeze, your
> heart
> stops for a mili-second.
>
> In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80
> years, no one
> reported
> a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the
> sand (or
> attempted
> to
> do so - apart from Bones ).
>
> It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into
> the sky.
>
> A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
>
> Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of
> Alphabetti Spaghetti
> especially for the German market that consisted solely
> of little
> pasta swastikas.
>
> On average, a human being will have sex more than
> 3,000 times and spend
> two weeks kissing in their lifetime.
>
> More than 50% of the people in the world have never
> made or received a
> telephone call.
>
> Rats and horses can't vomit.
>
> The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to
> be the toughest
> tongue twister in the English language.
>
> If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you
> try to suppress
> a
> sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or
> neck and die. If
> you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.
>
> Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats
> could have over
> million descendants.
>
> Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the
> bacteria in
> your ear by 700 times.
>
> If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why
> does Title 14,
> Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations,
> implemented on July
> 16,1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any
> contact with
> extraterrestrials or their vehicles?
>
> In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman
> somewhere.
>
> The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
>
> Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads
> for dating are
> already married
>
> A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
>
> 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by
> people sitting on
> them
> and photocopying their buttocks.
>
> In the course of an average lifetime you will, while
> sleeping, eat 70
> assorted insects and 10 spiders
>
> Most lipstick contains fish scales.
>
> Cat's urine glows under a black-light
>
> Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is
> different.
>
> Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick
> their elbow