SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART I
>>What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
>> Juan on Juan.
>>What is a Yankee?
>> The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
>>What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
>> The position of the dirt bag.
>>Why is divorce so expensive?
>> Because it's worth it.
>>What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
>> One US leader.
>>What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
>> Doughnuts.
>>Why is air a lot like sex?
>> Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. Why is
>>Chelsea Clinton so homely?
>> Because Janet Reno is her real father.
>> > > >
>>What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room
>>together?
>> 100 people who don't do dick.
>>
>>SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART II (JUST WARMING UP!)
>>What do you call a smart blonde?
>> A golden retriever.
>>What do attorneys use for birth control?
>> Their personalities.
>>What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
>> 45 lbs.
>>What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
>> 45 minutes.
>>What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
>> Through his chest with a sharp knife.
>>Why do men want to marry virgins?
>> They can't stand criticism.
>>Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
>>and good-looking?
>> Because those men already have boyfriends.
>>What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
>> After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
>>What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
>> The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention
>>of driving. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third
>>grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
>> The blonde, because she's 18.
>>Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
>> Because they have cotton balls.
>>What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
>> A porcupine has the pr!cks on the outside.
>>What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
>> Are you sure it's mine?"
>>What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
>> Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
>>Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>> Mace will do that to you.
>>Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
>> Breasts don't have eyes.
>>Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
>> He walks around saying "Yo."
>>Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only
on
>>Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
>> Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
>>
>>SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART III (Just Great Stuff) What's the
>>Cuban National Anthem?
>> "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
>>Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
>> A different bar.
>>What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other?
>> A speech impediment.
>>What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast?
>> They're hiring.
>>What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
>> A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of
>>the
>>cage
>>along with... "a recipe".
>>How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
>> Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
>>What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
>>fairytale?
>> A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern
>>fairytale
>>begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh!t..."
>>Why is there no Disneyland in China?
>> No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
Market Data 
Markets 
AI
