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teapeebubbles

02/11/07 5:47 PM

#78358 RE: teapeebubbles #78357

Shit is a powerful word. Just think of all the
concepts and ideas you can communicate with it.
Shit may just be the most powerful word in the
English language.

Consider: You can be shit-faced, be shit out of
luck, or have shit for brains. With a little
effort you can get your shit together, find a
place for your shit, or decide to shit or get
off the pot. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell
shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and
tell others to eat shit and die. You can shit or
go blind, have a shit fit, or just shit your life
away. People can be shit-headed, shit-brained,
shit-blinded, or shit over. Some people know their
shit, while others can't tell the difference
between shit and Shinola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, crazy shits,
and sweet shits. There is bullshit, dog shit, cat
shit, bird shit, whale shit, rat shit, and horse
shit. There is tough shit, hard shit, soft shit,
slimy shit, rough shit, and limp shit.

You can shit a blue streak, shit bricks, shit pink
Twinkies, shit marbles, or shit your guts out. You
can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, or duck
when the shit hits the fan. You can take a shit,
give a shit, keep shit, or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit, or be happie
than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter
than shit, and some days are just plain shitty. There
is funny shit and sad shit, bad shit and good shit.
Some shit doesn't stink, while other things really
smell like shit. Some music sounds like shit, things
can look like shit, and there are times when you feel
like shit.

You can be faster than shit, or slower than shit.
Sometimes you'll find shit on a stick, sometimes
you'll find shit everywhere, and then there are times
you can't find shit at all. You can have too much
shit, not enough shit, the wrong shit, or a lot of
weird shit.

You can carry shit in a bucket, put shit in a barrel,
have a pile of shit, have a mountain of shit, have a
river of shit, or find yourself up Shit Creek without
a paddle. You can slice shit, spread shit, dunk shit
or jump shit, and some people just can't cut the shit.

There is fun shit and dull shit, silly shit and serious
shit. Sometimes you really need this shit, and sometimes
you don't want any shit at all. You can stir shit, kick
shit, or stick your ass out the window and shit on the
world. Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit, and
other times you swim in a lake of shit and come out
smelling like a rose. Shit! When you stop to consider
all the facts, it's the basic building block of creation.
This means the universe did not begin with a BIG BANG,
but rather a BIG DUMP. Keep that in mind the next time
you flush the toilet. And remember, once you know your
shit, you don't need to know anything else.