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[teapeebubbles]

Rules of chocolate

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,
you're eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices
and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many
as you want.

The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home
from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it
in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll
take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top
of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and
they will jump out of the chocolate to protect
themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white
chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they
actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make
you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more
chocolate.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things
to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing
done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily
intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in
the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate,
what's wrong with you?

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control
top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be
devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?