Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

A mortician was working late one night. It was his
job to examine the dead bodies before they were
sent off to be buried or cremated.

As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who
was about to be cremated, he made an amazing
discovery: Schwartz had the longest penis he
had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "But
I can't send you off to be cremated with a
tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be
saved for posterity."

And with that the coroner used his tools to
remove the dead man's schlong.

The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase
and took it home. The first person he showed
was his wife. "I have something to show you
that you won't believe," he said, and opened
his briefcase.

"Oh my god!" she screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"