Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

The Perfect Husband

A rich, lonely widow decided that she needed
another man in her life, so she placed a
personal ad that read:

RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE
LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE
FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:

1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED

For several months, her phone rang off the hook,
her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received
tons of mail, etc., all to no avail. None of the men
seemed to meet her qualifications.

Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She
opened the door to find a man, with no arms and
no legs, lying on the welcome mat.

Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do
you want?"

"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am
the man of your dreams. I've got no arms, so I
can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't
run away."

The old woman asked, "What makes you think
you're so great in bed?"

To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't
I?"