Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

Your Culinary Skills Might Need a Little Help If:

* You consider it a culinary success if the Pop-Tart
stays in one piece.

* Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.

* Your family buys Alka-Seltzer and Kaopectate in bulk.

* When you barbecue, two of your kids holds water guns
and the third stands ready by the phone with 911 on
speed-dial.

* Your family automatically heads for the dinner table
every time they hear a fire truck siren.

* Your microwave display reads "TILT!"

* Your two best recipes are meat loaf and apple pie,
but your dinner guests can't tell which is which.

* Pest control companies keep pestering you for your
recipes.

* Your family prays AFTER they eat!