lol....are you actually describing how to cook pasta? Has it come to that?
I am not a tomato based sauce guy(or cream based)). I just add a small amount of sea salt, garlic cloves(plenty), olive oil and parsley(heated in saucepan). If I get crazy...I may add a small amount of butter.
If I want to add meat...it's only going to be shell fish...nothing else. Then just throw such in the skillet with the tasties'.
Then "real" bread to sop up the tasties' in the skillet and clean the plate/bowl. Actually cooking some tomorrow...just don't know whether it's shrimp or clams....or mussels.