The REAL Creation Story: >> > >> > In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and >> > populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and > yellow >> > and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and >> > healthy lives. >> > >> > Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice >> > Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with >> > that?" >> > >> > And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, >> > add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled. >> > >> > >> > And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the >> > figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from > the >> > wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from > size 6 >> > to size 14. >> > >> > So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented >> > Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the >> > side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. >> > >> > >> > God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive >> > oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and >> > chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained >> > mor > e >> > weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. >> > >> > God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food >> > Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created >> > <http://www.qklinkserver.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=69&k=chocolate%20cake&st=1> >> > chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food." >> > >> > God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose >> > those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so >> > Man > would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed > and > cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds. >> > >> > Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming >> > with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced >> > the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained >> > pounds. >> > >> > God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and > still >> > satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent > double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man > replied, > "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went > into cardiac arrest. >> > >> > God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. >> > >> > Then Satan created HMOs. >> > >> > Thought for the day ..... >> > There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today >> > than > on >> > Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large >> > elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely >> > no >> > recollection of what to do with them. >> > >> > If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be >> > five > fewer people laughing in the world.
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