1. Drove to local liquor store
2. Purchased a pint of Jack Daniels Black Label.
3. Drove home, stopping by 7-11 on the way.
4. Purchased a large bag of pork skins for 99 cents. Awesome.
5. Arrived at home, welcomed home by dog, plugged in laptop.
6. Walked dog. Scooped crap in dumpster.
7. Went back to computer, noticed it stalled on bootup.
8. Turned it off and tried again.
9. Opened bag of pork skins.
10. Hit F8 to boot in every mode available, safe, safe networked, etc. None worked. Watched boot stall at one of the *.sys files.
11. Opened Jack Daniels and started drinking.
12. Watched end of Rangers game.
13. Work up next morning, computer on, but still not working.
14. Looked around for old black "startup" CD that came with a Deli computer I recycled about 3 years ago.
15. Took aspirin for headache.
16. Put CD in computer and hit power button.
17. Hit F12 and disabled hard drive in bios.
19. Saved changes and let the CD load.
18. Took Tylenol for headache.
19. Computer now booted up with Win XP running.
20. Called command prompt from windows.
21. Typed chkdsk and enter. Oh crap, Did I just do that??
22. Realized I forgot to add /f switch.
23. Looked for Jack Daniels bottle.
24. Stared at screen, wondering why my life was this exciting.
25. Hot control-C to interrupt chkdsk, but realised that doesn't stop chkdsk. Bugger.
26. Took shower. Got dressed.
27. Walked dog.
28. Back at computer, realized chkdsk as done. Yep, it found errors. Typed chkdsk /f
29. Command not recognized. What?
30. Typed chkdsk /? which listed available switches.
31. Thought about using /P, but chose /R instead.
32. Found Jack Daniels bottle under bed.
33. Stared at computer screen, wondering how much time the human race had spent staring at a computer waiting for it to do something.
34. 35% done.
35. Made PBJ sandwich.
36. Back at computer, 69% done.
37. Played tug of war with dog and pair of x-wife's blue jeans.
38. Now just 73% damn this is taking too long.
39. Stared at screen, wondered if it was a good idea to start drinking this early.
40. Now 75%. Started drinking this early.
41. Took nap.
42. Woke up, realized chkdsk done. Sectors fixed or somesuch it said. Memory a little fuzzy here.
43. Removed CD. Re-booted with F8, re-set bios to boot from hard drive.
44. Rebooted normally. I hope. Second try, yep, this is working.
45. Called female friend and told her I would be working on her computer a little longer. Told her it might take two days. She owes me dinner.
46. Checked iHub; made new alias.
47. Posted derogatory comment at Churak.
48. Logged out.
49. Cleared IE cache, all except cookies.
50. Typed "delete flash cache" in google, chose top link.
51. Of the almost 500 websites on there, no adultfreindfinder cookies. Damn, she might be frigid.
52. Deleted all the temporary flash files.
53. Went to Add/Remove Software in Control Panel.
54. Removed three anti-virus programs she had loaded. Damn! She is too careful for me. Left the one NAV software from her DSL provider.
55. Opened the last remaining virus check program.
56. Ran shredder on temp files, ignoring cookies.
57. Ran full virus scan.
58. Took dog for walk again.
59. Came back to computer, looked for bag of pork skins. Nowhere to be found. Damned dog.
60. Still running anti-virus.
61. Staring at computer screen, wondered if pork skins are really made from pigs, and if that theory could actually be proven.
62. NAV done, and no virus. I am shocked. This might take less time than I thought.
63. Logged on to neighbor's wireless connection.
64. Set up another iHub alias and posted another derogatory comment at Churak.
65. Logged out and called chick to tell her I worked all night on her computer, and that it would be ready in about an hour if she picked me up for lunch.
66. Typed her DSL password back in the Network Connection window and re-set wireless router code back to her home device.
67. Checked laptop bag for incriminating evidence. Only saw empty Skittles wrapper.
68. Took two nice pens from the bottom of the bag.
69. Knock on the door, means time's up.
70. Handed over the bag after a quick lunch.
Hope this helps.
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