Replies to post #174888 on Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

brrrrrrrrrr

[teapeebubbles]

Updated: 9:06 PM MST on August 13, 2011
Phoenix
95.1° F
Scattered Clouds
Wind: Calm mph
Humidity: 27%
HeatIndex: 93° F
Dewpoint: 56° F
Pressure: 29.95 in
UV: 0 out of 16
Clouds:
FEW at 9000 ft
SCT at 14000 ft
SCT at 19000 ft
SCT at 25000 ft
Visibility: 10.0 miles



Tonight: Partly cloudy. A slight chance of showers and thunderstorms through midnight. Lows 76 to 86. Southwest wind 5 to 10 mph. Chance of measurable rain 10 percent.


Sunday: Partly sunny in the morning...then becoming mostly sunny. Highs 101 to 106. South wind around 5 mph in the morning becoming southwest 5 to 10 mph in the afternoon.

[teapeebubbles]

j4's Very First Time

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone just she and I

Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do

Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine

I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast

I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart

And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came

At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow!

[teapeebubbles]

j4 and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation
center.

Man: "What are you doing here today?"


Woman: "Oh, I`m here to donate some blood. They`re going to
give me $5 for it."


Man: "Hmm, that`s interesting. I`m here to donate sperm,
myself. But they pay me $25."


The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted
some more before going their separate ways.


Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in
the donation center.


Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"


Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."

[teapeebubbles]

j4 was trying to show his wife that women talk much more
than men. To prove his point he showed her a scholarly study
that showed men, on average, use about l500 words per day as
opposed to women, who use at least 3,000.

Gussie, his wife, pondered this for a little while and then
thought of an
answer. "Women", she said, "must use twice as many words as
men, because they have to repeat every thing they say."