JB,
I had a nearly identical experience in the 60s, though I studied the Vietnam story in high school to discover what a disgrace that war was. I had the previous summer at summer camp (I was 15 at the time) called my counselor a "coward" for being upset at being drafted; I told him I would be proud to serve in the war. He was really very good with me, didn't take it personally, and told me a few things about Vietnam. I didn't believe what he said, and the next year (1966, I think it was) in a US history class, did a long research project on the history of the country in the 20th C in order to answer him. I still blush with shame when I think of things I said to him.
"War is for the lazy who want it all, do not care one whit for those soldiers who fight it and will not go to the trouble of finding a better solution." Having studied much more history since those days, I think you are wrong about this, though I wish you were right. It may be true sometimes, but I think it is even more nefarious, war is not simply for the "lazy" but for arrogant and deluded people who believe that they can control events, that they are actually "powerful" in some sense. They aren't simpy lazy, at least not in a simple straightforward sense (though their drum-beating backers may well be). These need to study people like Machiavelli and Clausewitz, who came to know in their bones how unintended consequences (what the ancients called "fate" or "chance", and what Machiavelli called "Fortuna"), who understood the dangers of military power and complex events. It is the only realism that is worth knowing at the end of the day. Tolstoy is another master of it, but the deluded self-styled realists who believe that military power can control matters would never be patient or respectful enough to learn from a pacifist like him.