As you so eloquently state "common shares don't mean d..k", this is what they really are:
Shares outstanding are common shares that have been authorized, issued, and purchased by investors. They have voting rights and represent ownership in the corporation by the person or institution that holds the shares. They should be distinguished from treasury shares, which is common stock held by the corporation.
It's better to be thought of as a "fool" than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!