Bar Translations
What they really mean...
"No, really, I'm OK to drive." -- I'm wasted, and I am too
embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.
"I'm not used to these darts." -- I'm not used to throwing
anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.
"Let's go out to my car and get some cigarettes." (male to
female) -- You would look great face down in my lap.
"You get this one, next round is on me." -- We won't be
here long enough to get another round.
"I'll get this one, next one is on you." -- Happy hour is
about to end.... now beers are a dollar, but by the next
round they'll be $4.50 a pop.
"I haven't seen you around here for a long time." -- You
stuck up little bitch, too good for your old friends??
"Hey, where is that friend of yours?" -- I have no interest
in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive
friend into a compromising position.
"Let's get out of here." -- I just dumped half a jug of
beer into that Harley guy's helmet.
"Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female) -- I'm
easy.
"Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male) -- I'm
gay.
"Ever try a body shot?" (male to female) -- I am even
willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick
you.
"Ever try a body shot?" (female to male) -- If this is
how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you
on the ride home?
"I don't feel well, let's go home." (female) -- You
are paying more attention to your friends than me.
"I don't feel well, let's go home." (male) -- I'm
horny.
"I've had like 10 beers already." -- I've only had 3
but need an excuse to behave this way.
"Who's got the next round?" -- I haven't bought a round
in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting
attention.
"Excuse me." (male to male) -- Get the fuck out of
the way.
"Excuse me." (male to female) -- I am going to grope
you now.
"Excuse me." (female to male) -- Don't even think about
groping me, just get the fuck out of the way.
"Excuse Me." (female to female). -- Move your fat ass.
Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that
hot, missy, and don't think for one minute that you
are. Coming in here dressing like a ho...Get your eyes
off of my man, or I'll slap you, bitch, like the slut
you are.
"I'm out of here, I have to work in the morning." -- I owe
that guy who just walked in the door 100 bucks and have
been avoiding him since football season.
"What do you have on tap?" -- What's cheap?
"You go ahead, I'll catch a cab." -- I already lined up
a ride home with your "ex".
"That person looks really familiar." -- Did I sleep with
him/her?
"Can I just get a glass of water?" (female) -- I'm
annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.
"Can I just get a glass of water?" (male) -- It's 6:00
am and I just stopped drinking an hour ago. Hell, I
probably dropped half of my paycheck in here last night,
it is the least you can do for me.
"Do you have any Wild Turkey?" -- I want to make my
friend really sick so we can all laugh at him in the
morning.
"I don't have my ID on me." (female) -- I'm 19.
"I don't have my ID on me." (male) -- I don't have a
licence since I got pulled over and blew a .32 after my
last visit here.
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