Seriously?
Scholars will find it a convenient place to study his papers and associated materials.
Here's a sneak preview......
Scholars will find it a convenient place to study Trump's papers and associated materials.
Give me a parody of just how laughably thin that gruel will be.
Future scholars will indeed gather—white gloves on, pencils sharpened, archival boxes at the ready—only to discover that “Trump’s papers” consist of:
A series of Sharpie-altered weather maps, carefully preserved under the heading Meteorological Revisions, Author’s Cut
Printouts of tweets, many helpfully annotated in the margins with “TRUE!” and “VERY IMPORTANT!!!” in thick black ink
A single manila folder labeled “Healthcare Plan,” containing a blank sheet of paper and a Post-it note reading “Coming soon. Beautiful plan.”
Dozens of unsigned executive order drafts beginning with “Some people are saying…” and ending abruptly mid-sentence
A gold-embossed binder titled Infrastructure Week, entirely empty except for a glossy photo of a bridge and a handwritten note: “We’ll get to this.”
Transcripts of phone calls where one side of the conversation is meticulously documented, and the other is replaced with “[perfect call continues]”
A classified section consisting solely of newspaper clippings circled in red, with “READ THIS!!!” written across the top
Multiple copies of the same speech, each with slightly different adjectives swapped in: “tremendous,” “incredible,” “historic,” “maybe the best ever”
A legal strategy archive labeled Evidence, containing screenshots of cable news chyrons
And, for reasons no historian can quite explain, a fully preserved Diet Coke button, cataloged as a “Presidential Communications Device”
Doctoral candidates will spend years debating whether the absence of substance is itself the substance, while archivists gently remind them: “No, this really is all there is.”
The consensus conclusion: less a library of record, more a museum of vibes.