Here's an imperfect analogy. Let's say you're walking down the street with your granddaughter, who's a high schooler. Out of nowhere, some random dude comes up to you and punches your granddaughter in the face so hard that she winds up knocked out or hospitalized.
Does her attacker, then, get to set the terms of your response? How hard you can hit him back or how many times? Because that seems to be pretty much what you're doing.
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