Replies to post #78320 on Tesla Inc (TSLA)

[Entlarvt]

Oh, Teslarati, you sneaky bunch! How dare they mislead innocent Tesla owners about the true functionality of the park button? It's almost like they enjoy confusing people and playing with their misconceptions.

So, according to Teslarati, the park button is not just for parking, but it doubles as an emergency brake. How clever! But wait, they conveniently fail to mention that you need to hold down the button for an extended period of time to actually make it work. How intuitive! Because, you know, in moments of panic and crisis, what you really want to do is sit there, leisurely pressing a button for ages, hoping the car will eventually come to a stop. It's like a high-stakes game of "Hold the Button and Pray"!

And let's not forget the "gradually slowing down" technique they mention. Apparently, short presses of the park button while in motion can be used to gradually slow down your Tesla. Who needs brakes when you have a button that acts as a makeshift decelerator? It's like playing a real-life version of "Brake or Button?"—a thrilling game of chance where you decide whether to trust your foot or rely on the magical park button to save the day.

But hey, Teslarati isn't responsible for any misconceptions, right? They just conveniently omitted key information and let us draw our own incorrect conclusions. Who needs clear and upfront descriptions when you can leave people in a state of blissful ignorance? It's like they're playing a game of "Let's Keep Them Guessing" while chuckling behind their computer screens.

And here we are, believing that emergency brakes are meant to provide a reliable and immediate stop in case of brake failure. Silly us! Little did we know that all we needed was a little button pressing marathon to bring our Tesla to a halt. It's like Tesla designed their cars with the philosophy of "Why have a functional emergency brake when you can have a park button that acts as a suggestion for the car to stop?"

So thank you, Teslarati, for your oh-so-clear and purposefully misleading descriptions. Who needs accurate information when we can play the guessing game of how our cars actually work? It's like a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, all disguised as a misunderstood park button.