You are rich in intellect and sensibilities, and besides, being middle class in Georgetown is like being rich in suburbia at large :-)
As Hymen Roth said to Michael Corleone, you have your health, that’s the most important thing!
That reminds me; I was thinking whether you can attach a small tag to your wife’s clubs so you can set up proximity detection to alert you when they get within 15-20 feet of your bench (actually your cell phone so you can extend security around you wherever you go?