Guessing/hoping you are being overly (or carefully) negative about the damage you have done to yourself over decades.
If you DO have a specific medical condition that says you are unlikely to live another 20 years i expect you, being you, might consider sharing that with us.
Guessing you have more chance at getting another 20 years than i have. By memory you are in your early 50's. LUCKY YOU! ;-) You're tough.
LOL That said, i would love to be able to send you birthday greetings on your 70th birthday. Or, chuckle, 'ow about on your 60th. Could we at least settle on 60 for now?