Guessing/hoping you are being overly (or carefully) negative about the damage you have done to yourself over decades.
If you DO have a specific medical condition that says you are unlikely to live another 20 years i expect you, being you, might consider sharing that with us.
Guessing you have more chance at getting another 20 years than i have. By memory you are in your early 50's. LUCKY YOU! You're tough.
LOL That said, i would love to be able to send you birthday greetings on your 70th birthday. Or, chuckle, 'ow about on your 60th. Could we at least settle on 60 for now?
It was Plato who said, “He, O men, is the wisest, who like Socrates, knows that his wisdom is in truth worth nothing”