Replies to post #72636 on Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

LOS ANGELES - Neil Patrick Harris is gay and wants to quell any rumors to the contrary. "(I) am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest," Harris tells People magazine's Web site.

The 33-year-old actor said he was motivated to disclose his sexuality because of recent "speculation and interest in my private life and relationships."

Harris stars on the CBS comedy "How I Met Your Mother." He started on TV as a teen, playing the namesake doctor on the series "Doogie Howser, M.D."

[teapeebubbles]

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.
The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.
His wife had a closed casket at the wake After the burial, she
went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow..
Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you
afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down......"

My kinda woman

[teapeebubbles]

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go
into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt
Karen in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting
that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to
tell his mother.

"Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt
Karen. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Karen a big kiss,
then he helped her take off her skirt. Then Aunt Karen helped Daddy
take his pants off, then Aunt Karen..."

At this point Mommy cut him off. "Johnny, this is such an interesting story. Why
don't you save the rest of it for the supper time? I want to see the look on Daddy's
face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story.
Johnny started his story: "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go
into the woods with Aunt Karen. I went back to look and he was
giving Aunt Karen a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt.
Then Aunt Karen helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Karen and
Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Jack used to
do when Daddy was in the Army."
MORAL: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you
interrupt!

[teapeebubbles]

A woman from Los Angeles, who was a tree hugger and an anti-hunter,
purchased a piece of timberland. There was a large tree on one of the
highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural
splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top
she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.

In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got
many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to the
nearest doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist and an anti-hunter
and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story
with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he
would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the
doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"

He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the
Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service and the Bureau of Land
Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational
area. I'm sorry, but they turned me down."