Any Good Jokes?

[Zeev Hed]

Here is one, I know not the source:

The dachshund
>
> A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his
> faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund
> starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers
> that he is lost.
>
> So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his
> direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dachshund
> thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!
>
> Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately
> settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching
> cat.
>
> Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly,
> "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more
> around here?"
>
> Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look
> of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew,"
> says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."
>
> Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a
> nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade
> it for protection from the leopard.
>
> So, off he goes. But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard
> with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey
> soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal
> for himself with the leopard.
>
> The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here
> monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that
> conniving canine."
>
> Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his
> back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?"
>
> But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his
> attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet... and just when they
> get close enough to hear the dachshund says.................
>
> "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring
> me another leopard."
>
> SOMETIMES IF YOU CANT DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE THEN BAFFLE THEM
> WITH BULLSHIT!!
>
>