FDA Plays

[kei]

'Stock Joke to close out 2011' (please anybody join us! thanks!!)

1) Colorofmoney from FDA Plays

http://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/board.aspx?board_id=16083

Investment advice

If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00.

Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

2) A Gentleman from $heff’s $tation of $tocks & $olid DD (he asked me not to mention his name)
http://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/board.aspx?board_id=9413

Stock Jokes

#1) Two women were walking through the woods when a frog called out to them and said: "Help me, ladies! I am a stockbroker who, through an evil witch's curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!"
One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman, aghast, screamed, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into a stockbroker!"
The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a stockbroker!"

2) It was so cold today I saw a stockbroker with his hands in his own pockets.

3) The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried.

Get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2011.

4.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R.Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

5.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly Warner Cracker.

6.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as: MMMGood.

7. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

8. FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

9. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

10. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.

11. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will
become: Knott NOW!

12. Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new
name: Titty Titty Bang Bang

3) Captain io_io from Pirates Board (no comment on this poem!)
http://www.investorvillage.com/Groups.asp?mb=16298&pt=m

The Authorized Generic

When you've pumped hard but lost the bet,
Insofar as your stock is deep in trouble,
When all you have is a heap of debt,
Perhaps its time for your ID to double;

When you won every message board debate,
But your salient point turns out to be fallacy,
The tailwind was coming but the plunge didn't wait,
Its time to look at your bio-similar policy;

When the read-me-first has hit some land-mines,
You have still got the diversionary plan,
To look like your DD still shines,
The Authorized Generic is your only man.

When your WSJ monkey cant even throw a dart,
Your bull is just a goat with a bearish tan,
Deep down you know the dogma cannot bark,
The Authorized Generic is your only man.

When yet another year has dealt a bad stocks' hand,
The MB pulpit is on fire and all you preach is "Scam",
The real biotech investors are Pirating the land,
- The Authorized Generic is your only man.

4) Kei from Pirates Board

http://www.investorvillage.com/Groups.asp?mb=16298&pt=m

kicked out from the ship twice because i was too dumb, but while I was drifting in the sea, pirates took me into the ship again (thanks!). ..my job there is cleaning the deck and kitchen! Yeehaa!!!

Happy New Year!!!