Subject: No greater place on Earth
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> Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
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> Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
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> He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"
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> God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed
> downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
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> Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
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> "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to
> call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
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> "Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused.
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> God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example,
> northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth but cold
> and harsh, while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and
> pleasant. "I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands
> parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be
> very cold and covered in ice."
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> The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass and
> said: "What's that one?"
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> "Ah," said God. "That's TEXAS-- the most glorious place on earth."
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> There are beautiful beaches, streams, hills, and forests. The people from
> TEXAS are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they
> are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely
> sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be
> known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
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> Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about
> balance, God? You said there would be balance!"
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> God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I put in HOUSTON."
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> Scroll on down
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> A TEXAS BLESSING
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> Note: If you are not a resident of TEXAS or never have lived in the hot,
> humid Southwest, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!
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> Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
> Please keep it cool in mid-July.
> Bless the walls where termites dine,
> While ants and roaches march in time.
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> Bless our yard where spiders pass
> Fire ant castles in the grass.
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> Bless the garage, a home to please
> Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
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> Bless the love bugs, two by two,
> the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
> Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
> in TEXAS, Lord, you've put them all!!
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> But this is home, and here we'll stay,
> So thank you Lord, for insect spray.
> Scroll down
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> HOLD IT.............there's more..........SAD BUT TRUE!!!
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> YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN. . .
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> The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
> The trees are whistling for the dogs.
> The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
> Hot water now comes out of both taps.
> You can make sun tea instantly.
> You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!
> The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
> You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
> You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
> You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
> You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
> Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end
> up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
> You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
> The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and
> add butter, salt and pepper.
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> Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
> boiled eggs.
> The cows are giving evaporated milk.
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> Ah, what a place to call home.
> God Bless Our State of TEXAS !!
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