Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

A recent news story detailed a medical implant which offers women the
chance to experience orgasms with the press of a button. Tiny electrodes
are implanted into the spine and a small signal generator in the skin
close to the groin. The patient then controls the sensation with a
handheld remote.


Side Effects of the New Orgasm Implant:


Dramatic increase in the number of women seen hanging out at Radio Shack.

Cosmopolitan magazine folds due to a drastic shortage of orgasm related
headlines.

Dad now surfs with two remotes. Mom never complains.

She never wants to cuddle anymore -- it's click, click, click, and she's out
the door.

Thanks to a malfunctioning garage door opener, you're looking at $600 bucks
to fix the hole your wife kicked in the dashboard of your SUV.

The Energizer Bunny keeps coming and coming...

"Not tonight, Honey. I have a thumbache."

Finally, size really doesn't matter.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention... I'm sorry,
could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention...I'm sorry..."

Every time your cell phone rings, you feel the uncontrollable urge to shout
your surgeon's name.

Side effects? Who cares about... oh... oh... OH, GOD! YESSSSSS!!!!

In addition to "Mute" and "Favorite," the wildly popular Ultimate Universal
Remote now has a new button: "Big O."

Men no longer feel any responsibility toward satisfying their partner...
errr, never mind.