A.I.M. Users Bulletin Board

[QuillandPenn]

Bernie,

For the last several months, many of my friends who own mutuals advised by there financial advisors, were trying to get out of the market because of it's decending performance.

I just showed them, a few CEF's and a few Reits. The table can be seen at Yahoo.com. ACG is only paying at the moment about .08 cents per share per month.

http://table.finance.yahoo.com/v?a=1&b=15&c=02&d=8&e=16&f=02&g=v&s=o

"Story for the day-The stock market explained"

Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear Market - A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance,
the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.

Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low.

Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the Market keeps crashing.

Broker - Poorer than you were last year.

"Buy, Buy" - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.

Standard & Poor - Your life in a nutshell.

Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.

Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs
to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.

Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.

Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail.

Day Trader - Someone who is disloyal from 9-5.

Cisco - Sidekick of Pancho.

Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo for $240 per share.

Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut house.

Profit - Religious guy who talks to God.

Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan.

Alan Greenspan - God.

Getting giddy after taking a pounding on GMCR after a
Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded my stock from a "Stong buy" to a "Buy" and all hell broke loose. However, AIM stood it's ground and kept the powder dry.

Regards,
QuillandPenn