They're forged in the mines of Mordor only on special order.
Secret Decoders are, well, secret. So, we're not allowed to discuss them on the public forum. We have a special secret bulletin board where all Secret Decoder Members meet separately to decide the fate of the world markets.
We've had guest lecturers from time to time at our SDR-AIM-Users meetings. I'll have to check with Grabber, but I think he was talking to his old buddy Mr. Buffett about speaking next. After the lectures, we kick their butts out and go into "closed session." Can't have those rummies leaking our secrets to the press.
I heard rumor that some conspiracy theorists are now calling us the "illAIMinati."