The Confessional

[teapeebubbles]

You Know You're An Old Catholic If

- You still think the secret problem of priests is
alcoholism.

- You remember when Nuns wore habits.

- You think "No meat on Fridays" has nothing to do
with oral sex.

- You remember the days of alter boys instead of
altered boys.

- You think "Mother Superior" is more than a term of
hooker endearment.

- You think the primacy of Peter had nothing to do
Lorena Bobbit.

- You answer "yes" to both: "Does a bear eat in the
woods?," and "Is the Pope Italian?"

- You remember the days when confessions did not start
out with: "You have the right to remain silent."

- You remember when a red sash around a priest's waist
did not mean he was gay.

- You think a man dressed in black was not a member of
the SWAT team.

- You remember when kneelers were in church, not in the
Oval Office.

- You remember when Cardinals were birds of pray, not
prey.

- You remember when Holy Water was not from golden
showers.

- You remember the days before Bingo was made a
sacrament.

- You remember when "Love one another" did not mean
"Orgy Time!"

- You remember when Amazing Grace was not the name of
every tenth stripper.

- You remember when "Father" was a religious title, not
the results of a court-ordered DNA test.

- You remember when "Mother" was also a religious title,
not the first name of really bad people .

- You remember when I could get out of this joke by
saying three "Hail Mary's."