Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

GENEVA, Switzerland (IWR Satire)

- At a press conference held at CERN - European Organization for Nuclear Research in Geneva today, Dr. Klaus Pretzel said that his organization has gotten several unsolicited voice mails from singer Paula Abdul, who seems to be trapped in a parallel universe. Dr. Pretzel said his team was able to positively identify the CERN voice mail with a recorded voice print of the American Idol judge.

Dr. Pretzel explained that the Lab's voicemail machine was inadvertently connected to the Large Hadron Collider when the voice mails in question were received making communications with the parallel universe possible. Dr. Pretzel said this could explain "Paula's" recent erratic performance on American Idol.

"It's clear to me and my learned colleagues here at CERN that the real Paul Abdul has somehow been transported to this parallel universe, and now her intergalactic doppelganger has apparently taken Ms. Abdul's place on that silly American show," said Dr. Pretzel.