Baseball Chat

[langostino]

A preview of player responses ...


Now prepare for the guys fingered to open up the "dopers playbook" for their responses.

(1) Deny -- Blanket denial: "I won't dignify such rubbish with a response. It's preposterous. I'd never do such a thing!"

(2) Deny -- "there is no proof" (doesn't matter what the proof is)

(3) Deny -- this is bogus testimony from someone with an agenda to take me down

(4) Deny -- it's a conspiracy of people who are trying to take my team down

(5) Deny -- attack the messenger: Selig and the owners and Mitchell are in cahoots to find scapegoats b/c Congress and the media came down on them.

(6) Deny -- the check (and or other payment method) was for something other than steroids. (Already, this has worked for at least one player who was omitted from the report when his agent threatened claiming the checks were for McDonalds runs, dry cleaning, legal supplements, concert tickets, or just about anything under the sun other than steroids -- there is no way to prove it)

(7) Deny -- the phone calls on the phone records weren't about dope drops, they were inquiring as to the local weather, and calling to see how the family was.

(8) Deny -- mistaken identity, clerical error, inverted numbers, etc.

(9) Limited Admission + Denial -- If there is so much proof and it's so clear that denying would be pointless, then go to plan B -- True, I paid the money, took delivery of the dope, but never actually took it. (Honest to goodness, this is the story that was employed by 2006 Tour de France favorite and World #1 ranked cyclist Ivan Basso when he got busted. Said he only "planned to dope" but didn't actually carry through with it. As for the $60,000 he paid the dope doctor, you were supposed to believe he never asked for a refund and just wrote it off, LOL).

(10) Limited Admission + Denial -- Admit that you did it. Once. Just to try it. It didn't provide you any benefit, plus it made you nauseus and gave you headaches so you quit immediately and never touch the stuff again. (Here again, this was employed -- successfully -- by a former World #1 ranked sprinter in pro cycling). Oh, don't forget the part of how you "didn't inhale". (sorry, couldn't resist).

(11) Limited Admission + Denial -- Admit that you did it for real. But claim it was only in the off-season, and had "no effect" on the actual season or stats or record or competitive fairness.

(12) Limited Admission + Denial -- Admit you did it for real, but claim it was not for competitive advantage, but only to aid in healing from an injury.

(13) Limited Admission + Denial -- Admit you did it for real, but claim it was for a limited period of time (which naturally will be only the minimum necessary to cover whatever dates they've got lock-stock-and-barrel proof).

(14) Limited Admission + Denial -- If you must, admit you did it for a longer period of time, but definitely stopped long ago. Unless there's absolute proof of anything after 2003, you say, the new drug testing was soooooooo scary and effective that you stopped immediately. (This has the added bonus of inferring that nobody should bother to look closely at you now, b/c you'd never dope with the system in place, and if you did, it would catch you instantly!)

(15) Admission + Minimization -- If you're dead-to-rights busted, then you say "I admit I've done something, but (a) it was the "minor" stuff, not the really hard-core program with hGH, etc., and (b) it never really gave you the boost you were looking for -- therefore the end result was equal to that as though you never cheated or doped to begin with.

(16) Admission + Rationalization -- "I did dope, but I never cheated my fellow competitors b/c I only did what was done by others and kept myself on an equal footing with them. I never sought to "get ahead" or gain unfair advantage".


Of course there are many, many more entries in the playbook. If you're looking for the full magilla, go back and look at cross-country skiing, distance running, swimming, triathlon, weightlifting, boxing, international futbol (soccer), but especially professional cycling -- which has elevated all of this to a fine science and art form.