Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served
as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan
University in Marquette. They would get together two or
three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to
people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge
would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another,
and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go
out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt
to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their
experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on
crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs,
went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to
find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to
him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to
do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly
grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and he became as
gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to
give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair,
had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.
In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, "WELL,
brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and
I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear
from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do
with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle.
We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another
until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and
BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he
became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the
day praising Jesus."

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the
rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a
body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running
in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The
Rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it,
circumcision may not have been the best way to start."