The Mental Health Hot Line
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2
for you.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small
voice will tell you which number to press.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn`t matter which
number you press since no-one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the
hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address,
phone number, date of birth, social security number and
your mother`s maiden name.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and
carefully press 000.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message
after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep.
Please wait for the beep.
If you have Alzheimer's Disease, carefully dial your
anniversary date followed by the birthdate of each of
your children.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem. Please hang up. All of
our operators are too busy to talk to you.
#board-2412
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle
AI
