Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Surgeon General Warning:
Don't run while smoking marijuana. ,,,,,,,it's hard on your joints.

What was the plastic surgeon priest's favorite
thing to do? Alter boys.

Stan was the best liver surgeon at his hospital.
He always de-livered.

My wife asked the surgeon if he could re-attach my severed arm.
He said he couldn't re-member.

I know a surgeon who specializes in sex reassignment.
He's a real womanizer.

Don't forget the knight named after his favorite libation:
Sir Gin

Alcoholic knight: Sir Rhosis of Liver

I was trying to maintain the surgeon theme, but:
Carnivore knight: Sir Loin of Beef.

This morning I coughed up a pawn, a knight and a bishop.
I must have a chess infection.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age.
The next day she locked me in the cellar.

I’ll never join one of those online dating services.
I prefer to meet someone the good old-fashioned way.
Through alcohol and poor judgement.

Cliffhanger endings are incredibly frustrating. They just

Wife: I don’t even know what you and I have in common anymore.
Me: they’re both vowels.

Seeing the drawings on the wall, he looks at his wife,
“You’re the one that said you wanted a labradoodle.”

Either these jokes here are getting old or I am.
Please choose a number and post your answer below.
1. True
2. True

I'll stop at nothing to avoid... using negative numbers.

My wife calls me March, because
"I'm in like a lion, but out like a lamb"