Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

I manage an all-Chinese, Iron Maiden tribute band
Perhaps you've heard of.....Maiden China.

My grandson asked if I would buy him a chemistry
set so he could make chloroform. I said, "Sure, knock yourself out !"

I used to live a hand to mouth existence.
Then someone told me about silverware.

New, easy Covid test:
Stick one finger in your mouth and one finger in your ass. Wait two minutes, then switch.
If you can't taste the difference, you probably have Covid.

Police found a dead body with sperm in its mouth
They think someone tried to inject new life into it.

I was told you will catch more fish if you put maggots in your mouth for 5 minutes
before attaching them to your hook. Is this true? I await your answer with baited breath.

Silly Putty implies the existence of.....Serious Putty.

A scientist tried to make gum out of eggs.
It was an eggs spearmint.

How long does it take the Dutch to make eggs benedict ?
It takes Holland days.

Q: What's the best thing about being a...conspiracy theorist?
A: Not having myocarditis.

Sometimes I wonder how vegans survive off of what little they eat.
Then I remember they feed off of attention.

Guy runs into a bar in a panic..................
Guy: "Quick, how tall is a penguin ?"
Bartender: "3 feet tall, max."
Guy: "Shit............I just ran over a nun !"

What did God say after creating the penguin ?
"Well, that'll never fly."

If someone makes you calamari, you should
make them calamari in return, ( squid pro quo )

I used to donate to "Jerry's squids"