Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

Whether a woman fakes her orgasms or not, is something
the majority of men would rather not question in case
they discovered that she has been all along, and that
they are not in fact the stud they thought women go
wild for, but rather a pathetic creature with a problem,
who needs to be patronized.

For those of you who would prefer not to ask her, but
would still like to know, there is a simple checklist
to help you.

1. In the middle of lovemaking, and just before the
moment it sounds as though she is about to have an
orgasm, stop and take away the magazine she's been
looking. If she says, "Dammit, I was reading that!"
she was faking it.

2. If her panting, groaning and screaming are in tune,
or sound like a familiar song, she can't be concentrating
enough on the job at hand, and must therefore be faking
it. Or else she really likes the song playing on her
iPod.


3. A rule of thumb, which is usually very accurate, is:
stop at random and record her response. If every time
you stop she says "Mmmmm, you were wonderful, baby" she
is faking it. If she says "Don't stop!" she isn't.

However, if she says "Don't stop!" hours after love-
making has finished, it is possible that she may have
fallen asleep, and missed most of the excitement.