Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.



I had amnesia once -- or twice.



I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?



Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.



All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.



If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.



What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?



They told me I was gullible... And I believed them.



Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows

up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.



Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.



Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.



One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.



A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.



My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.



I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.



The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.



How can there be self-help "groups"?



If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?



Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground,

and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.



Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken





...........................hmmmmmmm