zeus, find some joy in your heart. Bitterness hardens the heart. Take some time to evaluate what you want for the rest of your life. I have and am a very happy person. I plan on retiring in two years and will travel the world while I am still young (at heart) and healthy. I worked hard to be able to do this, not gambling on QBID. Trust me, I take a large amount of solice in that fact. Now go out and enjoy life.
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