how come my son can gorge himself on these and not gain an ounce and I probably gained 5 pounds just now holding the box in my hand?
It is precisely because you have a son. At the risk of being offensive, (like that ever stopped anyone here), it only applies to married men and women. Most singles still have meaningful other physical activity to work off those extra carbs -- activity that decreases meaningfully as the length of marriage increases. This is more commonly known as junk-food science.
The other alternative is that it is a blonde thing, but I really did not want to go there. <g>
There really were some good things in the 1960s. Sex and junk food could peacefully coexist without fear of invasion from the other. Heck, they were required to cure the munchies.
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