Bribery and soul selling make Tom DeLay 2005's most important golfer
| Monday December 26, 2005 | 06:00:24
There is an obscure federal mandate that declares that all golf bloggers must have some type of year-ending awards presentation. It's a Patriot Act thing and yet more proof that the best laws are ones that are actually read by those doing the passing.
So, in order to keep with federal regulations and to keep myself out of a secret Romanian gulag, I figured it was time to announce the "William K. Wolfrum Most Important Golfer of 2005" award.
There were the obvious choices, of course. Tiger Woods and Annika Sorenstam again blitzed their respective tours and are worthy of consideration.
John Daly tried to drain every last cent from his popularity by starring in his own reality show, and somehow managed to play some competitive golf along the way. And, of course, Michelle Wie deserves some consideration for, well, existing.
But in the end, professional golfers will have to take a seat behind the one man who has truly changed the way the game is played. Ladies and gentleman, Tom DeLay was the most important golfer of 2005.
DeLay's victory is more than just for what he did in 2005. No, it's really more of an homage to the amazing golfing feats he and his cronies have accomplished over the past six years.
According to the Associated Press the former House majority leader has managed to take trips to at least 48 world-class golf clubs and resorts over the past six years. He's also managed to receive 100 flights aboard company planes; 200 stays at hotels, many world-class; and 500 meals at restaurants, some averaging nearly $200 for a dinner for two.
The beauty of it all is that these trips were paid via donations collected by DeLay's campaign, political action committees and children's charity.
So you don't worry about DeLay's campaigns losing money, keep in mind that since he joined the House leadership as majority whip in 1995, DeLay has raised at least $35 million for his campaign, PACs, foundation and legal defense fund.
This type of dedication to playing at the world's top golf resorts at other's expense is what put Mr. DeLay over the top.
So for taking bribery to new and exciting levels, and for making soul-selling an art form, there really was only one choice: Tom DeLay. And in 2006, whether it's behind bars somewhere, or preaching good, old-fashioned conservative values to his followers, Mr. DeLay will very likely be a strong contender for a repeat victory.
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