Nary a day, nor an hour, goes by that we do not receive via e-mail some Harrumph to the effect which is as follows, and it is more annoying than all the Terri Schiavo emails of a few years ago.
You’ve read it. I begins like this:
“Do You Believe in God? NBC this morning had a poll on this question. They had the highest number of responses that they have ever had for one of their polls, and the percentage was the same as this: ‘86% to keep the words, IN God We Trust and God in the Pledge of Allegiance 14% against.’
“That is a pretty 'commanding' public response. I was asked to send this on if I agreed or delete if I didn't. Now it is your turn ... It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore, I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a mess about having ‘In God We Trust’ on our money and having God in the Pledge of Allegiance.
“Why is the world catering to this 14%?”
And it goes on with admonitions to forward it to everybody we know, to prove up our Christian confession. Well. We have not forwarded it to anybody because we think it’s imbecilic, and that in fact the presence of the phrase “In God We Trust” on a Federal Reserve Note is as big a blasphemy as the picture of ol’ Andrew Jackson – who fought the corrupt notion of a central bank till his death – on the twenty.
We have absolutely no qualms about the phrase “In God We Trust” emblazoned on real money. We carry our good-luck charm, a 1910 St. Gaudens double-eagle everywhere we travel. Nothing like an ounce of pure gold to bribe the jailors. In a sweet simple arch below the eagle and above the sun, there’s the phrase: “In God We Trust.” Now, we would fight tooth and claw to preserve that noble sentiment on any silver or gold coin of advertised purity, or even on any gold and silver certificate issued by the United Snakes government, which (unlike our old 1957 A and B certificates) is redeemable in perpetuity.
Those who insist upon the phrase “In God We Trust” appearing on the debauched currencies of the Federal Reserve, or upon the base-metal slugs issued by the Treasury falsely representing them be fractional denominations of real dollars, are wrong on a couple of counts.
Let us toss back a few Biblical admonitions. It is the 3rd of the 10 Commandments. It says, with a visionary’s simplicity: “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in Vain.”
Then fast-forward to the New Testament, where we’re admonished to pay our help “measure for measure.” We don’t see where the cost of printing a slip of paper measures up to a day’s, week’s or month’s labour. Sorry, buddy. I work for gold or silver; I’ve got a lifetime of IOUs in the desk drawer from various deadbeats, and the United Snakes government is no different.
So what is “Christian” about demanding the appearance of the phrase “In God We Trust” upon a Godless bank’s Godless piece of paper? Sorry, but we think we would be consigned to Hell for advancing such a concept. This is not just putting lipstick on a pig. This invoking of His name to justify a fundamentally evil form of paper is a go-to-jailer.
So sign this petition instead:
“Dear Helicopter Ben Bernake:
Please remove the name of the Lord my God from your currencies. Neither my Lord nor His Son believed in the issuance of interest-bearing debt, and as you put your finger on the inflation index, please remember this: a subset of the 10 Commandments, to be found at Exodus Chapter 20, says, again with the eloquence of the non-lawyer, “Thou Shalt Not Steal.”
OK, two lessons here. First of all, Don’t put God’s imprimatur where it doesn’t honestly belong. Second, Don’t rip off your neighbour’s stash.
Time you knew it, but I have a personal relationship with my Lord through his Son, Jesus. No, we don’t talk every day, because I am a lousy listener. I’m not even sure He is happy to have a lout like me aboard, but He put no conditions upon my salvation. But I’ll be goddamned to see His name drug through the muck of the Federal Reserve Bank. The joy of Salvation deserves much better.
In God We Trust? You betcha, but only on silver and gold, and honest measures of same. Otherwise, don’t piss the Big Guy off.
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