Wow! Just returned from the Expo Holdings SM. What a great corporate gathering. We arrived at 1 PM Friday so we could take dozens of photos of the dust and dead wasps in the warehouse. JD Brown took us on the tour and boy was he proud showing off the new complete suit of Kevlar body armor he had just purchased with some of the third quarter massive profits from custom ETC cabinet sales. Speaking of cabinet sales, ole JD assured us that despite the warehouse and office being entirely devoid of raw materials, wood working equipment, labor, executive staff, sales persons, water, toiletry items in the men's room and electricity, that they had just shipped out an order of cabinets to Lowes using their own truck. Unfortunately it was also gone but he took us to the public library and using their computer, pulled up a picture of one just like it on EBay so we could have a reference. He said he would explain the whole incredibly complex and brilliant corporate plan to us at the meeting.
Once we had completed the exciting tour of the warehouse, shuttered display building and dark offices, JD said it was time for lunch and was generous enough to take us all out… his treat. On the way to Wendy's he told us how he was going to play a joke on his buddy who owned the franchise and asked us to play along. He ordered $112.37 worth of food, picked it up at the drive thru and then floored it. At first we were stunned but then we all started smiling at the joke. Brown broke out into hysterical laughter and said he could see his buddy laughing at him from the kitchen. Pretty cool gag! Then he said we should get back quickly, park in the warehouse and finish our lunch as the meeting was due to start at 3PM. We went back to the warehouse and parked inside to eat in the cool shade. Probably best we did as there was a sudden huge commotion outside with police cars driving everywhere and sirens blaring. JD laughed and said the Wilkesboro cops were always trying to get one up on all the locals and boots on the ground by snooping around Expo pretending to hunt criminals in the hopes of getting some stock tips.
Once JD checked outside, it was time to run over to the board room to start the meeting. JD said that Expo's newest venture was going to involve the partial construction and sale of metal detectors to airports in third world countries. This plan was designed in order for the business to have something more closely related to and complimentary of the new dog kennel business. He said it was a top secret plan and under a NDA so he couldn’t explain right then how dog houses and sales of stand alone metal detection equipment to Central African nations with no airports were related from a business perspective. He was very pleased however to announce he had a floor model to show us and had had it mounted just outside the board room where we could all give it a try. How exciting! There were over 50 people that had showed up and you knew you were in the hill country because JD had to have Glenn disarm about half of them before he would let them in the room. Those darn hillbillies, lol! Once everybody was inside and the windows had been locked and covered and the doors all dead-bolted, JD seemed to relax and even took off the Kevlar hood he had been wearing to impress us. He went over how despite Expo having a poor 2010, they were well on the way to earning well in excess of $200 million in 2011 and that all the critics were wrong. The entire lawsuit/IRS/equipment sales ruse had been proposed and planned entirely by he and Glenn in order to confuse the naked shorts and conspiring MMs! What a plan! The IRS seizure rumors were all just made up and he and Glenn had snuck in and moved all the equipment offshore to Aruba one night in order to have the shorts cover and move on. Southern Community Bank and Wurth Wood had played along with the County and state government in this massive sting operation to unfetter EXPH valuable shares from the conspiracy once and for all. It had all been a set up and it was unbelievably brilliant! Everyone in the room went nuts and JD broke out the moonshine for us all to have a huge glass each in celebration. Just to show that he was sorry he had to put everyone through so much pain and grief, after we were all pretty hammered, he opened up a cabinet in the corner of the room and brought out over 18 billion unissued shares to let us buy at our convenience! WOOOOO HOOOO! We all loaded up due the good news we knew was going to hit the markets on Monday and JD, true to his expert business sense had thought of everything. He even had a credit card scanner there so we could charge our shares at the meeting! Once the 18 billion shares had been sold (and there was some fighting about who would get the last 2 billion) JD cracked open 12 more quarts of white lightening and we all had a great time planning what we would be doing with our hundreds of millions in profits come 10/31/2011!
Around 5 PM JD thanked us all for coming and said he and Glenn would unfortunately have to cut the meeting a little short as they had to catch a plane for a big business meeting with Home Depot in Tierra del Fuego the next day. He said we were free to stay there and drink as long as we wanted as long as the last person out the door locked it behind them. We all thanked them both profusely for their generosity, they declared the meeting closed, crammed all the cash and CC receipts in a suitcase and headed out to the airport in a car they apparently borrowed from one of the shareholders. I always knew they had some kind of a brilliant plan they were keeping secret since the locals kept holding all their shares in those desk drawers and now JD had even managed to make it all up to us financially. Can't wait to post again Monday when the market opens and EXPH shares go TO DA MOON BABY! I'll be posting more photos of dust and dead bugs and cobwebs and stuff once I get a chance...my fingers are tired from all this typing! All IMHO.
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