Sister Margaret had been a model nun all her life, but
then she was called to her reward. As she approached
the pearly gates, Saint Peter said "Hold on, Sister
Margaret...not so fast!"
"But I have been good all my life and dedicated to the
work of the Lord. From the time I was taken in as an
infant by the sisters at the convent to my dying
breath...I have lived for this moment!" Sister Margaret
exclaimed in disbelief.
"That is just the problem," replied St. Peter, "...you
never learned right from wrong and to get into heaven,
you must know the difference between right and wrong" .
"Well what can I do? I will do anything to get into
heaven!" Sister Margaret pleaded.
"I am going to have to send you back down to Earth.
When you get there, I want you to smoke a cigarette
and call me when you are finished...we will discuss
your situation then." ordered St. Peter. Sister
Margaret returned to Earth, smoked a Camel, and then
immediately called St. Peter, coughing and hacking.
"Saint Peter" she gasped, "I can hardly breathe, my
mouth tastes terrible, my breath stinks, I feel dizzy,
and I think I am going to throw up"
"Good!" replied the old saint, "Now you are finally
getting a feel for right and wrong. Now go out tonight
and drink some hard liquor and call me back when you
are ready."
Sister Margaret phoned St. Peter immediately after
taking several belts of Jack Daniels.
"Saint Peter...I feel woozy...that vile liquid burned
my throat and nauseated me...it is all I can do to
keep it down."
"Good...good! Now you are starting to see the difference
between right and wrong" said St. Peter with delight.
"Tomorrow I want you to seek out a man and know him in
the Biblical sense then call me"
A week passed before Sister Margaret called St. Peter
and left a message: "Hello, Pete baby...it's Peggy...
It's gonna be a while!"
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