Geez, there's no pleasing you, is there?
You bitch when your stocks are down...no, wait...you do more than bitch. You bawl like a freaking baby, you big baby.
Most of mine are green but I have a couple in the red but do you hear me griping? No, of course not. I'm an adult and I act like one and, and...
..oh, never mind. I can't think of anything else to yell at you about.
Carry On...