Replies to post #8288 on The Confessional

[teapeebubbles]

oh yeah....

[teapeebubbles]

If you receive an email entitled
'Bedtimes'







Delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.





IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.





It will drink ALL your beer.





FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING? ?





It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company.





It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the 'Bedtimes' message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.





***





WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN.





***





And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.





Send this warning to everyone!!!





THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!





Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!!





And look at you - you're on the computer!!

[teapeebubbles]

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1... My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2... I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3..Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4..I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.



5..Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6..You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7..Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8..Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9..I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.




10..Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11..NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy,why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12..God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13..The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14..Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.


15..Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16..Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17..Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up!!!!
18 .. Procrastinate Now!

19..I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20..A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21..A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22..Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken ..
24..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27..The trouble with life is there's no background music .
28..The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!