Here's the item I referred to on Friday. It is from a column in the April 2002 issue of Dr. Dobbs Journal, "The New Adventures of Verity Stob". The column carries this footnote: "Verity is the pseudonym of a programmer based in the UK." That, and enough humor to spike a gas bag, called the UKBird to mind.
Ms. Stob apologizes to Gilbert and Sullivan for mauling their work in the following:
Patter Song =========== I'm admin of a porn site: Pervy punters pull my pages down. A mastermind of mark-up Working hard to keep our poor renown
Which ever is your browser I make sure that I'm compatible I always keep the best stuff where It isn't quite get-at-able.
To make the navigation mono-manual Was not eas'ly done; But this is what you must do to maintain Your place in sleazy-dom.
On each PC that comes to see I'm sure to leave a cookie file: And this is how I track who is A kinky kooky nookie-phile
Chorus: On each PC that comes to see She's sure to leave a cookie file; And that is how she tracks who is A kinky kooky nookie-phile
To keep the GIF pics tiny I must minimize the palette size; On just one blond, one brown, one black And twenty pinks I compromise
Our many net connections need Broad-banded one direction feed; We must have some redundancy To satisfy selection speed.
I'm friends with all our "acting" crew, Take meal breaks with a foxy pal, (Sometime I'll ask her how it feels To always make love through proxy wall.)
But some days I'm frustrated and I can't help aggravating it It's me does all the work round here Except the actual bonking bit.
Chorus: On some days she's frustrated and She can't help aggravating it: She does all the work round here Except the actual bonking bit.
If you should want to see our wares -- I'm being hypothetical -- The law requires I check your age, Though this is theoretical.
Don't think I've lost the techie touch. I'm always scripting server-side. Just thirty lines of Perl ensure Your credit card is verified.
And though our first time prices are Too good to be sustainable, I'm shocked the lengths that cheats go To attain the unattainable
Please know we have "connections." We've made sure we're not attackable Remember it's my firewall -- not your arm -- That is uncrackable.
Chorus: Please know we have "connections." We've made sure we're not attackable Remember it's my firewall -- not your arm -- That is uncrackable.
(And, then, presumably still bubbling with rhythm, she switches to a new theme with a new tune ... but I'll spare you the pain. flg)
For those who've never heard of it, Dr. Dobb's Journal is a well-respected, highly technical, monthly magazine for programmers. I've read it, off and on, since the late '70s. Most of it is over my head, but I've always found it an important source of good technical insights. All professional programmers should check it out at http://www.ddj.com.
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