You could have spent it with your family had you been "honest" in your dealings. Your wife and children figured you out before a good many did. They still love you, I wouldn't doubt. I would suggest you commit yourself to a helping agency. Try to get through all of the "disillusions" that the drugs have caused. The inappropriate mentors. . .whatever drove you to the level in which you went to. Now, you are finally acting human. But for your wife's sake, I wouldn't take the bait. You need rehab.
EOM